Friend continually talking over me

BrandyGran I bought a book in the airport on Friday, "Surrounded by Idiots" by Thomas Erikson. It describes personality types. Your friend sounds like a Yellow. They are so fond of the sound of their own voice they hardly let others get a word in edgeways!

Doodle

I’m sure I do this many times. If there is a lull in the conversation I try to fill it. Some people speak really slowly while I tend to gabble out any old thing. I also chip in with words when I realise what someone is trying to say. That makes me feel really bad so I have tried to curb doing that. Basically I need a big plaster over my mouth to make me shut up.

Doodle If we ever meet I will have a big plaster ready. I'm one of the slow speakers. 😁

We've been best friends with a couple for over 50 years. They are both exceptionally loud, they bicker at each other and are constantly interrupting each other (and us!). When they leave we look at each other, roll our eyes and don't speak for an hour! It's exhausting being in their company, but they keep suggesting we go on holiday with them - 1 day is all we can take, let alone 7.

My husband does this. He is loud and can dominate a conversation...apparently all because he is the youngest of 6 and had to interrupt and shout to be heard. His whole family do it. Drives me nuts 🤐

They probably suffer from adult ADHD and can’t help themselves.

BrandyGran

I have a friend who allows me to say about 4 words - one of which triggers off something she has to say and she launches in! I’ve tried saying neither of us will interrupt but it doesn’t stop her for long. I do love her but this is really annoying me as she does it when we are with other company. Anyone have the same problem and any ideas to solve it would be welcome. I don’t want bad feeling over this either.

I saw a short program on tv with Adrian Chiles about trying nicely to shut someone up. You put your finger on your closed lips ( like we did as a child) & the other hand on your heart. It gesticulating that you love them but please shut up.

I have a friend who simply does not hear me. She is fairly deaf but doesn’t seem to realise, so conversation is tricky. I’m surprised she has not gone for a hearing test as she is a very sociable person so it must be a problem for her. She is always saying “ Pardon?”
It is impossible to interrupt her flow as she does not realise.

I've observed that some radio presenters stop over-talkative callers in their tracks, by decisively interjecting using their name. It seems to work, except in cases where the talkative caller is fairly deaf!

I’ve got a friend who I take out in my car because she no longer drives.She never shuts up.I don’t get further than “well” or “I” and she just carries on.I was so fed up one day that I pretended that my plumber had just sent me a text to say he was on his way to service my boiler,so curtailed the outing and I went home fuming.It’s so rude.

No not twins triplets I do the same, my Mum used to say I was vaccinated with a gramaphone kneedle

IamMaz

I was once advised to say something along the lines of “Oh - was the beginning of your sentence more important than the end of mine?”

I like that, will use it next time..

I have a friend who lives a long way away, our weekly phone calls which I have now capped to an hour is easily 75% her talking, when she eventually asks me a question I find myself giving her the short hand version before she jumps in and turns it around to her again, she even gives me updates on her relatives and neighbours which leaves me thinking that it is far more important to her to discuss then to listen to what I have to say ..

I know a few people who enjoy a monologue. I often realise that I have hardly said a word when the one-sided conversation is over.

Luckygirl3

I think you just need to cut her a bit of slack if she lives in her own - she might be desperate to talk to someone!

If she lives on her own, she probably is desperate to talk to someone I know I was, but that is no excuse for bad manners.

I was grateful, when I got over my instinctive first reaction of being hurt to the good friend who pointed out to me that I was doing this.

You are not talking to people if you are holding a monologue and doing so when with others will not relieve lonliness, as after all we would all prefer to be able to get a word in edgeways.

Tell your friend quietly that she has got into the bad habit of interupting others in order to talk about herself and her concerns, and that while you are prepared to listen to her problems, you too have things you want and need to discuss with her, and will she please try not to interupt, as she comes across as being selfish.

‘Wondering’ that should have said!

There is someone like this in most of my different friendship groups. I often find myself what it would be like to have them all together.
Came back drained from a morning with two friends yesterday I don’t think two of managed to say more than a few words.

My MiL talked over people and like Rainnsnow said, it became a dialogue. I realised over the years that she just couldn't hold a two way conversation. I found her bluntness and rudeness so exasperating that on the few times I engaged with her in the end I would just finish what I had to say which went totally against the way I had been brought up.

I think we all know somebody with this annoying habit.
In fact, I know several.

My husband does this. My latest tactic seems to be working. Now when he cuts across me I get out my mobile phone and start texting or playing solitaire.

When he asked what I was doing I just looked at him. He’s got the message now.

Worth trying with garrulous friend?

*ADHD, not ASHD. Typo - sorry.

I think we all know people like that. I tend to let them ramble on as I value their friendship . And I’ve realised people who do this aren’t aware of it. .recently a friend who dominates any conversation was complaining to me and another friend about a family member who dominates the conversation🤔. I replied, so she doesn’t let you get a word in edgeways? . And she didn’t get the irony .

My older brother visits me on a Tuesday afternoon for 3 hours. I can't get a word in edgeways. He doesn't draw breath from start to finish.
He lives on his own now. I guess people living on their own are glad to see someone to 'get it all out'
It can be exhausting though.

I was once advised to say something along the lines of “Oh - was the beginning of your sentence more important than the end of mine?”

In this situation I passively aggressively say in a loud voice ‘it’s fine, I didn’t want to finish what I was saying anyway.’ It usually shuts them up 😁

You could say oh was I talking while you were interrupting? She may laugh. I can only concentrate on a few sentences. If they chat on the conversation is a dialogue

My sister does this. She tries not to interrupt, but the struggle is great, and takes her mind off listening, anyway! Her daughters say ‘Squirrel, Mum!’ After talking to her about it - since, at her most extreme, she’ll just change the topic by shouting about something she can see out of the window, Eg ‘Ooh, look, a squirrel!’

She has now trying to get an assessment for adult ADHD. This has to come through a referral from the GP, and a long-winded process of filling in forms, asking family & friends to fill in forms about what they remember of her childhood, before a formal assessment can be made.

I’m not saying get your friend assessed for ASHD! Just that this behaviour might be reflecting something bigger than bad manners, and not be completely under her control.