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Friend continually talking over me

(75 Posts)
BrandyGran Sun 22-Oct-23 12:01:25

I have a friend who allows me to say about 4 words - one of which triggers off something she has to say and she launches in! I’ve tried saying neither of us will interrupt but it doesn’t stop her for long. I do love her but this is really annoying me as she does it when we are with other company. Anyone have the same problem and any ideas to solve it would be welcome. I don’t want bad feeling over this either.

Auntieflo Sun 22-Oct-23 12:13:28

I have a friend, a bit like that. As she lives on her own I just let her natter on, and I get the odd word in here and there.
I still value her as a friend and wouldn't like to upset her.

Fleur20 Sun 22-Oct-23 12:30:48

No excuse for bad manners.
Pat her on the hand and look her straight in the eye..'I haven't finished speaking.'
..and then carry on with what you were saying.
And repeat... it does work.

Dottynan Sun 22-Oct-23 12:31:22

My husband waits till I am half way through a sentence and starts talking. He usually says "I thought you had finished". In which case he wasn't really listening as he would have known I hadn't finished the sentence

HowVeryDareYou2 Sun 22-Oct-23 12:33:13

It's very boorish. My brother does that. He's not interested in anything anyone else ever has to say. When he does that to me, I stop talking. When he "allows" me to speak, I say I don't want to say anything. He wonders why nobody rings him..........

dragonfly46 Sun 22-Oct-23 12:36:17

I think we all know someone like that. The friend I have is also incredibly sensitive so if we ever say anything to her about it she is rushes off in tears. We just let her ramble on!

BrandyGran Sun 22-Oct-23 13:37:08

I like the patting hand idea!

Luckygirl3 Sun 22-Oct-23 13:41:06

I think you just need to cut her a bit of slack if she lives in her own - she might be desperate to talk to someone!

Georgesgran Sun 22-Oct-23 13:45:03

Agreed Luckygirl13
My BF is obsessed with her health and 90% of her conversations are about it. I do value her friendship, so it’s just a grin and bear it from me, then a moan to the kettle when I get home!

Baggs Sun 22-Oct-23 13:51:43

I must have told Minibaggs many times not to interrupt. One day I was put in my place as she said: "You imbertrupted me." 😅

pascal30 Sun 22-Oct-23 14:25:46

You could try watching Thich Nhat Hahn's Youtube 'The Art of Deep Listening and Loving Speech' with her when you are alone with her.. it might help her in other social situations..

Doodle Sun 22-Oct-23 14:26:05

I’m sure I do this many times. If there is a lull in the conversation I try to fill it. Some people speak really slowly while I tend to gabble out any old thing. I also chip in with words when I realise what someone is trying to say. That makes me feel really bad so I have tried to curb doing that. Basically I need a big plaster over my mouth to make me shut up.

Oreo Sun 22-Oct-23 14:29:07

😂Doodle
I do that supplying words thing, it drives DP nuts.

Oreo Sun 22-Oct-23 14:30:35

Just allow your friend to do it OP and sigh inwardly, she’ll hardly change now and may get upset if you say anything.
As for the patting hand thing! Patronising.

shysal Sun 22-Oct-23 15:03:29

I find myself wanting to do this sometimes, but only because I will think of something to say in a conversation and know that if I wait I shall have forgotten what I had to say! This is usually with my 91 year old neighbour whom I visit every day. She always dominates our chats and I rarely get a word in.

Fleur20 Sun 22-Oct-23 15:59:39

... just to clarify...The pat on the hand is not intended to be patronising... but to gain attention.... some folk can be hard to stop once started!!😀

Theexwife Sun 22-Oct-23 16:32:00

I doubt you will be able to change her behaviour so maybe you will just have to accept that is how it will be when you see her.

After having a conversation with someone I sometimes think about what we have been speaking about, I wonder what people like that think and if they realise that they know nothing about what has happened in the listeners' life and do they realise why they have so few visitors.

rosie1959 Sun 22-Oct-23 17:06:53

Just wondering is this a recent development or has your friend always been like this. My experience of dementia sufferers is that they continually talk over you.

Bella23 Sun 22-Oct-23 17:22:53

Dottynan

My husband waits till I am half way through a sentence and starts talking. He usually says "I thought you had finished". In which case he wasn't really listening as he would have known I hadn't finished the sentence

You're not on your own Dottynan.

merlotgran Sun 22-Oct-23 17:36:41

Fleur20

... just to clarify...The pat on the hand is not intended to be patronising... but to gain attention.... some folk can be hard to stop once started!!😀

How on earth is the recipient of the hand pat supposed to know that?

I’d feel so humiliated you wouldn’t see me for dust!

V3ra Sun 22-Oct-23 17:55:58

We took my Dad to see an elderly relative who was in a care home recuperating for a few weeks after a fall.
We were there for two hours before she drew breath and actually said hello to him 🤦

SueDonim Sun 22-Oct-23 18:34:28

I’ve spent the last three days amidst a great number of Americans. I don’t think I’ve managed to say more than two consecutive words without being interrupted or talked over.

I’ve come to the conclusion I’d better off talking to myself.

icanhandthemback Mon 23-Oct-23 13:17:31

Doodle

I’m sure I do this many times. If there is a lull in the conversation I try to fill it. Some people speak really slowly while I tend to gabble out any old thing. I also chip in with words when I realise what someone is trying to say. That makes me feel really bad so I have tried to curb doing that. Basically I need a big plaster over my mouth to make me shut up.

I think you might be my twin!

Gingster Mon 23-Oct-23 13:23:13

My no.1 son does this ALL the time. He’s the loveliest chap and we’ve tried telling him but to no avail. When he’s gone we say ‘and breathe’ . 😵‍💫.

AliSut1959 Mon 23-Oct-23 13:27:07

Perhaps you could gently ask your friend if she's having problems with her hearing as you've noticed recently that she seems to interrupt when you're talking and haven't finished what you were trying to say to her. It might trigger a conversation about what she's doing.