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I feel like the other woman!

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Urmstongran Tue 26-Dec-23 17:49:43

A lot to unpick here. And of course these are just my own thoughts…

He lied a lot didn’t he? I can’t even imagine going out for seven years with anyone who had omitted to tell me he was married with children, albeit separated. When did he see them? You must have wondered at times when he took himself ‘off grid’ occasionally? Christmas with his boy(s) for instance?

And why pretend his father had died? Oh I get it even as I type. He couldn’t risk introducing you!

So, for years he lived a double life and you never knew. Did you suspect?

As Mary Angelou would say “if someone tells you who they are, believe them”.

Now he’s about to be a grandfather. He’s likely just curious about the grandmother in all this. Probably.

Well you love him. Even after finding out about his lies (I’d have run for the hills at that point alone). He won’t talk. He’s secretive.

Good luck going forward. I’d push communication.
It’s key.
He won’t like it though. It’s his nature to withhold.

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Rebecca0284 Tue 26-Dec-23 17:33:23

Hi all, I’m new to the group I’d really appreciate some advice.
My partner is 50 and I’m 39 we’ve been together 20 years he has two children from his marriage and we have a son 8, we recently found out he’s going to be a grandfather in July which is wonderful news! I’m really happy for his son and girlfriend. The thing is we had been together seven years before I found out he was married (but separated) with two children. The lies just kept coming he’d told me he didn’t see or speak to any of his family he went as far to say his dad had passed away!
Sadly we had just suffered a still birth when all this came to light that made things even harder to deal with.
Obviously we decided to give things a good I’m glad we did we’ve been so happy. We spent time with his children often and enjoyed doing things as a family. Since finding out about the new baby I’ve found him looking up he’s ex on social media and looking at her pictures NOT ones of his children.
I really don’t know what to do and I’m feeling like the other woman all over again.
I have tried speaking to him about this but he either shuts me down or we end up arguing.
I honestly don’t know what to do I love this man with all my heart.

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