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Problems with lodger

(28 Posts)
janny59 Wed 27-Dec-23 16:30:11

I have a lodger living in my home who has been here for nearly 3 years. He is 30 years old and he,s a friend of my sons. There have been some minor issues with him in the past that have mostly been sorted out. There is one problem that really bothers me and Im finding it really difficult to solve. My son doesnt live here anymotre but does come to visit and quite often stays 2 or 3 nights. When my son does come, the lodger spends all the time in our living room right up until the minute my son goes home. Except the days when he is a t work of course, but the evenings he will be sat in my living room for the entire time. He also tries to dominate the conversation to whatever he wants to talk about, which is very minimal in topics and is usually about football or computer games. He even tries to do this whilst me and my son are in the middle of a conversation already. The second he walks in the room, I feel the atmosphere change, so does my sons girlfriend if she is here and almost anyone else who may happen to be around at the time. I love when my son visits or stays over but I feel its now totally ruined by the lodgers behaviour. There are times my son hasnt even wanted to visit because of it as it does annoy him too. Obviously I dont mind the lodger spending some time in the living room when my son is here as they are friends. But he is around until the second my son walks out the door to go home. He often follows him around from room to room talking to him. He even very often speaks to my son very quietly when they are sat on the same couch and I cant hear a word they are talking about, he obviously knows this and it makes me feel very left out in my own home. Just hoping that someone has any advice on how I can deal with this situation without appearing rude or offensive. Thanks in advance

sodapop Wed 27-Dec-23 20:31:03

I think it's really down to your son to sort this one out janny59 as the problem only occurs when he visits. I think it would be a bit drastic to ask your lodger to leave because of something which could easily be resolved.

Oopsadaisy1 Thu 28-Dec-23 08:01:25

Next time your son visits, tell your lodger that you will discussing private family matters and you would be grateful if he didn’t join you in the living room.

When your son arrives tell him to go directly into the lodgers room and he can tell the lodger the same thing.

If this happens each time he will soon get the message.

If he doesn’t know it’s bothering you, he can’t change his ways, you have to communicate with him.