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Family won't have anything to do with my husband

(30 Posts)
fancythat Fri 19-Jan-24 08:57:04

You have to do what you think/know is right.
Your DH has apologised sincerely.
The other family members should respect your, and that, decision.

MercuryQueen Fri 19-Jan-24 08:36:52

Actions have consequences.

Your husband needs to deal with the strained relationships that are a direct result of his choices and behaviour. It’s not and shouldn’t be on you to protect him from that. He needs to work to repair what he broke.

Sapphire24 Fri 19-Jan-24 07:24:28

Sorry you're going through this. As hard as it is I'd not focus on how many years you've been with your husband. I would be looking at your future. If you can trust him, what you can work on that made you both unhappy and your gut feeling of if trying again is really what you want. I wish you good luck and please let us know how you get on.

denbylover Fri 19-Jan-24 07:13:55

I understand your feelings towards your husband and your marriage and to continue or not is your decision. The feelings engendered by your daughter and brother stem, I suspect, from their love for you, they don’t want to see you hurt or unhappy any longer as they’ve possibly lost their trust in your husband. Your husband has work to do to foster their trust.
It’s not going to be a quick fix is it. I wish you the best of luck.

Val1965 Fri 19-Jan-24 06:12:25

Sorry for the long thread, but would appreciate any advice.

My husband and I have been having problems in our marriage for a while, and two years ago he flirted with a girl at his work. This came to my knowledge - we went through a very rough patch, went to marriage counselling, and ultimately worked it out. However, I was still resentful as he never truly apologised to me and expected me to forgive and move on.

Fast forward to just before Christmas, our marriage was struggling, he wasn't happy and I wasn't either. He then said that he wanted "out" of the marriage (we have been married 31 years) and he was done with counselling as he kept on saying that I just "can't move on".

Believing that my marriage was truly over, I confided to my older brother and told him everything. He was disgusted with my husband and advised me that I should leave the marriage and look forward to a peaceful life for myself.

About 3 weeks ago, my husband apologised, said he jumped without thinking saying that he wanted "out" of the marriage and wants to try again. He apologised sincerely. He doesn't want to throw away 31 years, nor do I, so we talked and agreed that we would really try and connect again with each other.

To now: My brother and my family are disappointed with me for me saying that I want to work on my marriage, with my husband (brother said he would never look at him the same way), etc.

We have two grown-up children - my son is supportive, yet my daughter can't stand her father and is against us getting together again.

I am at my wit's end - heartbroken, extremely anxious and feel that I can get physically and mentally broken down over all of this.

Please, I am looking for kind replies and strength how to deal with this.

Thanks so much.