Do you still get upset?

Rudeness does affect me I wonder what I have done to deserve it but then perhaps that person is having a tough time themselves. I do try to shrug it off but it stings at the time.

How would he know had he had a hysterectomy?

Thank you all of you that responded. I’m really grateful for your thoughts. My resolution on my birthday-which was the day after that incident, was to stop bothering what random folk think of me. I think birthday resolutions are more useful than NY ones. So I will see if I can manage to be a bit more resilient this year.😀

Marydoll

*Purplepixie*, I was the same after my hysterectomy. I would burst into tears at the drop of a hat.I had no idea what I was crying about!
Onward and upwards. I felt such a relief. It takes time, but you will get there. 💐

I cried a lot after hysterectomy -I remember asking the surgeon if that was normal and he said “no”!

Purplepixie, I was the same after my hysterectomy. I would burst into tears at the drop of a hat.I had no idea what I was crying about!
Onward and upwards. I felt such a relief. It takes time, but you will get there. 💐

Marydoll - I’m sorry that someone upset you. I am the same as you. Some days I am fragile and if someone was to even say Boo I would feel like bawling my eyes out. It’s 4 weeks down the line since my hysterectomy and I could cry for England (or anywhere). When I was in hospital there was a particularly rude woman in the bed. Thankfully she was gone early the next morning. But I did feel upset by her actions and words towards me. I bet she was half my age.

I'm super sensitive but realise that most of the time it's more about the other person than it is about me. I will ALWAYS put my hand up and apologise if I've said something which might upset or offend but I will defend myself to the hilt if someone crosses me unapologetically. I will also stand up for other people who are being harassed or abused and aren't in a position to defend themselves. Last summer on holiday a woman bought a coffee in a chip shop and returned five minutes later and shouted at the top of her voice "Ladies and gentlemen, I have just been charged £Xxx for this minute cup of coffee and YOU (pointing the server) should be ashamed of yourself. You make me ashamed to be Scottish". She was vile. Not one person stood up to her, except me. I asked her politely but firmly to stop and eventually she left. How DARE she speak to someone like that!!

No point in getting upset as the other person can quite enjoy your discomfort
Keep your cool if you wish to say anything
A couple of years ago following my aorta repair and before my hip replacement I was going to the gym for cardio rehab
I was using my road worthy mobility scooter I was on the road and stopped for a line of school kids crossing the road. They were about fourteen One of them said something really abusive. I blew the horn so they turned to look. I calmly said “How dare you abuse a little old disabled lady. What would your gran think of you.
The offender looked embarrassed and his class mates giggled. The teacher gave me the thumbs up I hope the lad learned his lesson but I shall not hold my breath. My friends thought it funny as I don’t view myself in that manner

I'm very impressed by you grans who are quick on the draw. My problem is I tend to waft around in a twilight zone. If a confrontation occurs I waste valuable revenge time pulling myself together!

Mind you there was a time when a teenager leapt out right in front of me and let off an earsplitting scream. I was in a bad mood that day and came right back at him with a string of f- words. Then (a bit like you, Caleo) I shopped him to our Community Police who sorted him out! I like to think I gained some street cred that day.

Nell, a similar thing happened to me, and I told the headmaster .He replied by letter and what he said gave me reason to think he may raise the matter in morning assembly.

Huia she sounds like someone who just blurts out what comes into her mind at the moment in case she forgets it!
The fact that she apologised afterwards tells you she recognises she was in the wrong and didn't want to upset you.

Doesn't this committee have a chair? It's their job to ensure everyone gets the chance to speak and not get shouted down.
Have a word with them before the next meeting.

It sounds like you all need paper and pens on the table so people like her can note down a point they wish to raise, at an appropriate moment!

Huia the situation makes a lot of difference, and in your case I can understand it.

The fact that she apologised once suggests she knows she does it and tries to control it, but actually only notices it when it is bad.

Why do you assume that slights like this are personal? most of the time they are because the person is thoughtless, generally rude, or insensitive and it has got nothing to do with you. And if they do not like you, so what? Nobody likes everybody, so there are always bound to be people wo don't like you.

I am the same age as you and had similar experiences at boarding school at a young age, but it just made me more bolshie and rebellious. I think we just have very different personalities.

What one can say with confidence is that there are other people who feel like you, but also plenty, who like me, do not.

Next time she cuts you out in a meeting. Speak up. say, 'Excuse me , you cut me out before I had finished speaking. Please let me finish what i had to say.' I have done that in lots of meetings, it would never occur to me not to.

Monica you said there was likely a particular situation that made me write. Yes!
I’m on a committee for a retired people organisation. A newish member has on a number of occasions cut me off in a discussion about topics. The other day she did this twice. It was so blatant that she popped over and apologised when the meeting ended. However I am still upset. I don’t know why she does this and it makes me wonder why she doesn’t like me and then wonder if everyone agrees with her. I can’t seem to banish this ridiculous rumination! It makes me feel slightly sick even. Now I realise much worse things happen and it is not akin to being so called “cancelled”. I look and sound confident but in fact am not! So I end up thinking ‘goodness I’m nearly 80 and these people still manage to spoil my week’. I got bullied and put in coventry at boarding school when I was 10 and I think that makes me more fragile. But I just wondered if everyone feels things the way I do.

I always work on the basis that people make remarks without engaging their brain first and it never occurs to them how upsetting or offensive their remarks are. In which case, it is pointless to get upset.

Alternatively they make the remarks deliberately to offend In which case I treat the remark and remarker with the contempt they deserve.

I am trying to remember the title of a tv programme from years back where, like the post above and the fluent Swahili, a not very well spoken secretary was left with 2 German business men who proceeded to discuss the business deal and their take on it, while the British men, of course at that time, were out of the room.

When the deal was finalised with all present, she surprised the Germans by conversing with them in fluent German and thanking them for all the extra useful information they had provided. I know that is not quite what the thread is about, but the Swahili post reminded me. I have never forgotten it.... but the name of the series escapes me!

Nell8
My response would have stated with an oi!!! in a loud voice ( and I have a very loud voice 😂) I won’t print here what would follow but they would be very aware of my anger 😡

My reactions would be similar to Bluebell, but I'd like to be more like Oreo😄

I just get annoyed rather than upset tbh. At least by anything said by a stranger.If a friend or family member says anything upsetting, and we all do at times often without thinking, then I mull it over a bit to think are they right?If they aren’t then I do feel miffed but move on, life’s too short.

I do go over and over things and try to see what I said wrong or what was perceived to be wrong and always manage to blame myself and think why didn’t I say this or do that

Normally, I don't say much and walk away. However this morning someone upset me on this forum (I'm a bit fragile just now) and I had a rant. I couldn't help myself.
I think it depends on how you are feeling at that moment in time.

Oh it's the bane of my life. I take everything to heart and over think things people say and do. I've always wanted to be able to come back with brilliant one liners but can never think of anything until too late.

Nell8 that’s so so rude and with my short wick, I’m afraid I would have challenged them, knowing it was a risk, but I wouldn’t be able to stop myself.😡

I wouldn't have been upset*Nell8*. I would have given as good as I got and repliedalong the lines, of'Your country, maybe but in this country we don't'

Reminds me of a friend, brought up in southern Africa who spoke fluent Swahili(I think). She worked for a multi-national company and was in the lift one day, when two African men got in and between them discussed her multiple charms in swahili. As she got out she turned to them, and in pefect swahili said. You need to be careful when talking like that, you never know who may understand you. I undestand that their faces were a picture!

I know I'm (over) sensitive in many situations, whether with members of the public or in personal relationships, it's a constant battle. What I do find helpful is to remember that it is usually more to do with the other person and something they are going through so not too take it personally.

Get bothered? You bet!

I was walking down the pavement in our High Street aware that three young men were coming towards me, side by side. When we met they grudgingly let me through and one said, in a thick foreign accent "I tell old vimmin to valk in the road".

Livid? I was so upset I wanted to rush after them and clout them with my handbag. Only I knew I'd end up in the gutter and that made me even angrier.

I still get palpitations thinking about it!