Do you still get upset?

Another way of dealing with her interruptions and speaking over you Huia, it’s to simply continue taking calmly as if you didn’t hear her, not stopping to allow her space to talk. This highlights her rudeness, to herself and others, and almost always stops them in their tracks when she sees she’s not shutting you up. If however, she continues to talk over you, raise your voice very slightly and say I’m sorry, I haven’t finished speaking. A slight raised hand gesture towards her at the same time helps. I bet she’s nervous about fitting in, wants to make an impression or has ADHD and does this without realising. Whatever the reason, the others in the group will have noticed. Good luck.

I was rude to my friend of 50yrs at a party we were at on Sunday. She didn’t take offence but when I got home I felt awful. I phoned and apologised and gave her a hug today when I saw her. What came over me? How bad to treat a friend like that 😥.

Petra - Yes, everything has been removed but I am 71 years old and been through the menopause. I’m told that it is natural to feel this up and down and sometimes blooming well very upset. Some days I feel bordering on the hysterical and just have to keep a lid on it. I’ll see how I am in a couple of weeks and give my dr a ring.
Just watched another episode of Call the Midwife and bawled my eyes out. Poor hubby headed for the garage and kept out of the way until teatime.
Thank you for starting this thread.

My mouth works before my brain is engaged and I have often responded with cutting or sarcastic comments when I should have kept quiet.
I do make a point though of telling people if they have made me happy or have done a good job for me so not all bad hopefully.

Not normally but when told to " eff off" get some effing eyes in the back of your head then you can effing see what's going on. all because of the cost of a 30p carrier bag, or because I attended to a lady first when this young animal had waited longer at the self scan, or the animal I asked politely would he mind letting this other customer go first as she had been waiting and this other animal, had barged right through. I call them animals as that's what they act like (that is no disrespect to animals by the way).before everyone jumps down my throat.

Just a normal day at my supermarket.

Grandmaofone I was commenting to DH today, how staff in our local Sainsbury's are always pleasant and helpful! Nothing is too much bother.
Recently I met the senior receptionist from our surgery, whose children I taught and has been so kind to me over the years, while battlibg chronic ill health.
I was telling her how relieved I was if she answered the phone, because in the past some of the receptionists could be rude and obstructive.
Oh we got rid of them because they were upsetting patients she said!

I would stand my ground in any situation and not let anyone upset me - I put this down to being an Aries, head strong.

i have worked with the public most of my life in retail, i was told by a manager many years ago that any problems or bad moods get left at the door, if anyone ranted or was unpleasant i would say something kind to them, i did the hospital trolly for a few years and got a few rants and called some nasty names because i did not have the thing they wanted, i would go back at the end of my shift and get the items and go round again delivering them, my biggest bug bear is rudeness, maybe it is because i come from glasgow that i don't put up with it, first time in england the uk wide store would not take my foreign money so i went to the bank and came back and paid the £19 bill in 20p and 50p pieces and told the manager that she should teach her staff to say please and thank you. please don't get upset with rude and unpleasant people as that is usually what they want.

yes
From our local Sainsbury, complained to Customer Services, never heard anything since - of a woman member of staff who is consistently disagreeable and rude, this time was the limit!
Second was at our local railway station, woman behind the glass refused to issue me with a SRC as I couldn’t offer ID in the form of Passport or DL. (It is for over 60’s,) I’m 70+
I did challenge her, she said, you might be 59! but she wasn’t shifting. I was v upset and angry, felt hapless. But of course in reality I wasn’t.
Duly bought SRC at Marylebone, no difficulty at all, he gave me a pouchette to keep it in, rolled eyes at my experience,
of a martinet wielding pretend power.

Rude doesn’t cover it. They mostly have an audience, a queue forming, whereas one on one they wouldn’t do it.
There is no need for anyone, public facing, personal, random to be rude.
They are, always, showing themselves up.

Purplepixie
Did you have your ovaries removed? If so you have gone into what is known as a surgical menopause. It starts immediately after the operation.

Gundy absolutely. Throughout my life I have found the blank stare perfect for putting down everything, from rude people, to a manager who had been in the habit of going into all female office environements and talking in double entendres (snigger, snigger). He tried on me in front of my staff and I just looked straight through him and refused to react or show any emotion. He cut it short and never repeated it.

If some should exhibit a flash of insulting, freaked out rhetoric towards me I’m more inclined to just stand there and stare at the person with a look of “Really? You look and sound ridiculous…” Without saying a word the stare alone with an air of contempt, total silence on my part usually puts an end to the tirade. It’s especially effective when you have an audience around you… then everyone sees what a clown that other person is.

What’s really off-putting to the offender is if you should say something like “Okay, I see you’re having a really bad day.”

They’re not expecting that. Then you can either continue with your transaction, or, walk away. Chances are you’ve done nothing wrong, don’t let it bother you.

Yes about 3 weeks ago someone I had once considered a close friend stopped me in the street and accused me of something I had no knowledge of. I didn't understand what she was talking about thought I had misheard her and when I asked her what I had done she stormed off. Still not quite over it but I will avoid her in future.

Her apology means nothing unless she never does it again. If she does you really must say something difficult though that may be,

What a moron she is! If she didn't want to pay such a price then she could have gone elsewhere! Why pay then come back being abusive?!

I'm 58 and not usually bothered as I think if someone is intentionally saying something rude/upsetting to you in public then that's their problem as they obviously have very dull boring meaningless lives - which is how they are - so they try to drag others down to their gutter level but the ones that really get me are those that take it out of me for my physical disabilities. I've been told to forgive them, no, I bloody well won't!

I used to be a primary teacher, and developed a thick skin after dealing with rude and demanding parents.

Nowadays, I only get upset by members of my own family, people who should care about me. If strangers or acquaintances are rude, I just let it wash over me, couldn't be bothered challenging people I don't care about.

Once, after a bit of a disagreement at one of my Old Lady clubs, a woman apologised for being rude to me. I just said, "Oh, it's fine - I don't value your opinion in any way, so I'm not the least worried by anything you say to me."

oh gosh, I haven`t had any big op. recently, so what excuse do I have,, I can cry easily.. I hate it..

and yes. Huia.. I brood on what some people say to me, and others... I eventually deal with it..

gosh this thread is so encouraging for me.

Strangely enough, I tend to get more upset / angry on behalf of others.

Try just saying Oh dear I havent finished speaking yet and carry on. It leaves them gobsmacked often.

Thank you Marydoll and Huia.

I had a fabulous weekend with my youngest son who lives at works at London. Normally a few tears after he has driven off. Not this time. I cried for most of the sunday afternoon. I will get there and thank you for the words of encouragement.

Unfortunately I am unable to shrug it off ..

IM very easily hurt and ha cr been all my life

I was so easily upset and hurt when younger - over sensitive, and consequently often suffering stress from matters which didn't warrant that strong a reaction. A member of our family can often be quite rude, and some time ago, when several of us were discussing getting upset by others, I said that I am no longer bothered by rudeness, and feel that aggressive nasty behaviour comes from a sad place. A rude individual can boil in their own bile - their attitude is their problem. It was all light hearted - but I think sometimes rude relative was taking note.

Oh yes and I then plan my revenge in my mind

Well done Huia and I wish you every success. It is not just a question of resilience, but also building your self-esteem. You are bigger than anything anyone can say to you.