Dating at 70?

Poor husband he been good enough for 50 years now she wants to try someone new
What a moo

Your friend needs to sort out the division of finances first before getting swept up in the perceived excitement of dating.

Dating late in life is very hard work. Some men lie about their ages in their hunt for a Nurse with a Purse. The so called 'cougar' woman seeking a younger partner is often socially frowned upon by existing family and friends, and often ends in an abrupt ending. Unless she has a very financially comfortable marriage, the division of assets normally means both parties have to accept a fall on living standards at at 70 her husband might be snapped up before she is. Grown up children will also have a view on new partners intentions if she is lucky enough to find one.
It will be an eye opener . Has she tried couples counselling before making her big announcement?

Being there done that and got the T-shirt lol I’m nearly 60 and haven’t dated in the last 5yrs met him on line we had a 5yr relationship and we split because a workmate on a dating site spotted him he was still doing online dating. Don’t get me wrong met lots of different guys online some only looking for one night sex and a hell of lot of married men who have a wife that doesn’t understand them lol. How can you bunny hop from one relationship to another without the bed getting cold you got to find yourself first first before you start a new relationship instead of taking your baggage with you

undines

GSM I assure you I am being totally honest - why would I not be? I don't want to go into tasteless anatomical details but I can tell you things are in some ways better than in my 20s. Not everyone is the same and sometimes if you expect to be old, then you will be old. 'Realism' is about connecting with your own body, your own spirit, as it is, not what the general assumption may be. Glad to hear I'm not the only one Katie59! (And I'm Undines, which means Water Spirits, although it sometimes gets written as 'undies', which could be appropriate, given the thread! :-)) )

I recorded a film called The Railway Station Man last week and watched it yesterday. Stars Julie Christie as a widowed mother of a grown up son living in rural Ireland.

She meets an American man of a similar age (Donald Sutherland) after being on her own for many years.

They certainly enjoy a relationship in later years. Try and get it on catch up. You would enjoy it! 😉

pce612

I met my late, lovely second husband on a dating site in 2020, I was 69 and recently divorced.
You never know who you might ‘meet’ , I have rejoined the dating site and have been lucky enough to have met someone new. It is early days but we complement each other and he is besotted with me. He is 7 years younger than me, I have suggested that he might be better off with someone younger and fitter but he says he is very happy with me.
You are never too old to find happiness.

Well that's the key really..if you are happy with someone why would you look elsewhere..

I met my late, lovely second husband on a dating site in 2020, I was 69 and recently divorced.
You never know who you might ‘meet’ , I have rejoined the dating site and have been lucky enough to have met someone new. It is early days but we complement each other and he is besotted with me. He is 7 years younger than me, I have suggested that he might be better off with someone younger and fitter but he says he is very happy with me.
You are never too old to find happiness.

Cash for more than a few months will be needed. If husband is awkward the divorce can be very protracted (as mine was).

Megslotts

Damdee

Before your friend starts to file for divorce, has she considered the financial impact as well as all the emotional ones?

She may have her own finances for all we know. I never think finances should stop a woman leaving, no matter what. This is the problem with a lot of women, they stay for the lifestyle they may be used to, what's the point of staying if not happy. If someone has enough to rent somewhere else everything else can be manageable.

It shouldn’t stop her leaving but she has to have enough cash for a few months because if husband digs his heels in living may be very difficult. So getting finances prepared for a split up should be a priority, unless violence forces a separation.

Damdee

Before your friend starts to file for divorce, has she considered the financial impact as well as all the emotional ones?

She may have her own finances for all we know. I never think finances should stop a woman leaving, no matter what. This is the problem with a lot of women, they stay for the lifestyle they may be used to, what's the point of staying if not happy. If someone has enough to rent somewhere else everything else can be manageable.

Georgesgran

I laughed at an expression last week (at the chiropodist) when a lady said she had no intention of dating now, as she didn’t want to be a nurse or a purse at her age!

Georgesgran love this phrase ..neither a nurse or a purse

The first piece of advice I would give your friend is to 'live with herself' for at least two years before shopping around. Her children will be shocked but its her turn now, she's done her bit for the family & she might be surprised how supportive they may be. But they won't be happy if she choses a 'not as nice' as Dad man!! Please advise your friend to go it alone however scarey it will be. Join groups of interest, ceroc/Jive/ballroom classes, yoga/walking groups to get her out the house. Be careful of scammers meeting mature ladies. Good luck to your friend.

This is terribly sad for her poor husband, it’s as if everything he’s put into his marriage, to their family and life together has been trashed, even just by talking so disloyally about the him to a friend. And this, before she makes a decision either way. If he is a decent guy, he won’t last long on his own I bet, that’s if he can trust again.

I do find it sad that she feels this way after all those years of marriage. I feel sorry for her husband but perhaps he would be better off without her if she feels this way about him. The grass is not always greener, especially when you reach the good old age of 70. My husband died 10 years ago and we were together since 1964. I would do anything to have him back with me.

At age 82, I don't think I want a relationship with a 70yo or any age for that matter. After the deceit and cheating of my husband and being divorced in 1989, I am quite happy pleasing myself, and living a quiet life with the dog. Thank goodness dogs have some loyalty.

win and OldFrill - I wondered that too.

OldFrill

Perhaps your friend is not being entirely candid. Maybe she has met someone and is garnering your reaction/opinion, without comprising her secret, in an effort to weigh up her options. That seems far more realistic to me.

I wondered that, too, but thought I was being too cynical.

It occured to me that she may already have been dabbling in the world of online dating, and has perhaps met someone else who she would like to get to know better.

Primrose53 I love stories like that! Good luck to them! (and what a great thread this is!)

undines good for you 👏👏. I had a lovely neighbour who was 74 and a widow when she met a widower in the village. She was very attractive and a lovely person. When his wife was alive the old boy was miserable, hardly spoke and doddled along.

When he met my neighbour he smartened himself up and they got together. He was like a new man at nearly 80. He used to walk past our house like a teenager all smiles and friendly on his way to her house. She told me he was like a teenager in bed too!! 🤣 they holidayed all over the world together, went away for weekends and genuinely had a lovely time together.

OldFrill

Perhaps your friend is not being entirely candid. Maybe she has met someone and is garnering your reaction/opinion, without comprising her secret, in an effort to weigh up her options. That seems far more realistic to me.

That certainly crossed my mind too

GSM I assure you I am being totally honest - why would I not be? I don't want to go into tasteless anatomical details but I can tell you things are in some ways better than in my 20s. Not everyone is the same and sometimes if you expect to be old, then you will be old. 'Realism' is about connecting with your own body, your own spirit, as it is, not what the general assumption may be. Glad to hear I'm not the only one Katie59! (And I'm Undines, which means Water Spirits, although it sometimes gets written as 'undies', which could be appropriate, given the thread! :-)) )

Perhaps your friend is not being entirely candid. Maybe she has met someone and is garnering your reaction/opinion, without comprising her secret, in an effort to weigh up her options. That seems far more realistic to me.

undines

And Germanshepherdsmum I certainly DID pick up where I'd left off in my 20's - better than ever! Okay, my stomach isn't as flat and I've got wrinkles and all that but it did not seem to matter, we were like teenagers (or like I wanted to be when I was a teenager, but never quite managed) and I could say more except it would be inappropriate! At 75 and 73 things aren't much different for us. I think it is very important not to think yourself old. Each person is different and good health and positive thinking go a long way.

You’re not the only one Udines find a new man who presses all the right buttons and the years roll back, the kids wouldn’t believe us!.

🤣🤣🤣just a tad GSM

I certainly don’t ‘think myself old’ but I am realistic. I expect that if you’re totally honest, ‘things’ are a little different to when you were in your twenties.

And Germanshepherdsmum I certainly DID pick up where I'd left off in my 20's - better than ever! Okay, my stomach isn't as flat and I've got wrinkles and all that but it did not seem to matter, we were like teenagers (or like I wanted to be when I was a teenager, but never quite managed) and I could say more except it would be inappropriate! At 75 and 73 things aren't much different for us. I think it is very important not to think yourself old. Each person is different and good health and positive thinking go a long way.