Returning home after surgery

I would be very hurt as well. If he won’t do it then can you ask a relative or maybe friendly neighbours to help. Sorry but if he won’t do it then maybe get it done over his head. I have had a hysterectomy in January and also 71. Hubby has been great and doing all the meals, shopping etc but no housework unless I ask. Please stand your ground as I have backed down in the past with other issues to do with hubby and regretted it.

I wonder if Scardeycat will let us know if the problem has been resolved.

what's he normally like when you are ill; does he look after you properly.

Aveline

Of course it's a trouble to bring a bed downstairs. They are big awkward things. It would take several people to do it. The OPs husband may be elderly himself.
If the OP really couldn't manage stairs (and they are quite possible after a TKR) then a short hotel stay could be the answer.

My son brought a single bed downstairs by himself for DH when he needed one.
With me hovering anxiously, offering to "help" or phone a friend.

Another alternative would be to speak to the hospital. They will ask you whether you live alone and who will be there to support you. If you have no support they won’t send you home. You could always explain the situation as you’ve told it to us and they might have a word with your husband or keep you in a bit longer.

You will be shown ways of managing the stairs in hospital but you may be discharged the same day or the next morning, as happened to a 75 year old friend of mine.

My mother had a hip operation many years ago and my father was as intransigent about moving a bed downstairs as your husband is. Fortunately some friends of my mother's arrived, swept into the house, removed a single bed from upstairs and set it up in the dining room while he was out. I suggest you allow your friends to do the same; it is your home as well and if you feel safer downstairs then you insist.

Tell your not so dear H your welfare and temporary needs come before his inconvenience and arrange with whoever has offered to help, bring a bed downstairs for you. Look after yourself first.

The stairs seem to me the least of the op's problems. The knee will probably recover - he husband will probably get worse.

Great idea, Kate!

Good point Cabbie

A low bed is probably going to be more of a problem than stairs.

Of course it's a trouble to bring a bed downstairs. They are big awkward things. It would take several people to do it. The OPs husband may be elderly himself.
If the OP really couldn't manage stairs (and they are quite possible after a TKR) then a short hotel stay could be the answer.

Get him told SC

My daughter is only too pleased to bring a bed downstairs when I am staying over, it’s no trouble at all for her. I have great fun with my 2 grandsons and the 2 retrievers who all jump on my bed.

I’m sorry for anyone who might think iits an inconvenience to bring a bed downstairs

Could it be that he's aware that you need to practice stairs even if you don't want to?

If you have a downstairs WC you only need to do it once a day up and once a day down. If he walks behind you he can help you feel more confident.

Just wondering.

She wouldn't like me to say she was 819 although she probably felt it
I mean 81.
I also meant to acknowledge NanKate who suggested the Premier Inn.

I have just spoken to a friend aged 819 who had a knee replacement in November. She said it was a long time before she felt confident to do anything much apart from get out of bed. She lives alone in a bungalow.
She was 2 nights in hospital.

I like the hotel idea primrose 😃

I’m sure my sister-in-law went into a Nursing Hone (?) after her operation. She had to pay for it, she is quite well off. Scaredycat if I were you, that’s what I would do, and get your unhelpful husband to pay the Bill. That’ll teach him !

I have osteoarthritis in my left knee. We live in a maisonette and I find it extremely difficult to return to the first floor flat due to the stairs. Doctor told me a knee replacement won’t be necessary so that’s one good thing.

Beware hotels with rooms for disabled. They might be ground floor , have wet rooms and raised toilets etc. BUT the beds can be incredibly low. Not advised or easy for knee or hip replacement

I’m sorry your husband is being f less than supportive.

Can I suggest you tell the hospital physio about the stairs and the type, how steep, do you have hand rails that sort of thing. You won’t be discharged until you can manage stairs, I had to go up and down a ‘proper’ flight with sticks as I preferred those to crutches. Please don’t worry about the stairs, rather try to get to the bottom of your husbands attitude. Is he scared about you being unwell do you think? Good luck, TKR worked well for me, I recovered quickly, I hope the same for you.

NanKate

I would book into the nearest Premier Inn with a room for someone disabled and read, watch telly have food cooked for me and leave your selfish husband at home to look after himself.

FabUlous idea 👏👏👏

I’ve had both knees done and wasn’t allowed home until I could manage stairs. Yes, your husband is being very mean! My OH wouldn’t even go to work until I was safely downstairs in the morning - we have a downstairs loo.
I think a few sharp words are needed.

Loving this idea!!

I would book into the nearest Premier Inn with a room for someone disabled and read, watch telly have food cooked for me and leave your selfish husband at home to look after himself.

But really whether she can manage the stairs or should manage them surely it should be at her pace and what she feels comfortable doing
Is it too much to ask to have the first week downstairs
Is there anyone can help get the bed down other than the reluctant husband or can you borrow a fold up bed for a week a lot of people have one for emergency families stay overs