Dating 55-65: age range and children/grandkids

BlueBelle

So we’re more than 2 months on and no return from CIiz

That’s because CLiz never existed in the real world.
Its a BOT

Scribbles - your first paragraph gave me a good belly laugh 😆

Oh dear you are being so clinical.

When I first met my future husband I just saw him at the other side of a room and thought how I would really like to speak to this man, I was attracted to him.
I didn't think about what career he had or which school or college he attended, how much money he had in his bank account.
I would say just go out with lots of individuals and enjoy yourself live life. You'll know if there is a spark.

Age limits in online dating are personal. It's about what feels right for you. Consider compatibility, shared values, and long-term goals more than just age.

Online dating you should meet men who are solvent, willing to travel to meet you and have not made any sexual comment in their messages. Beware his live in children whatever age they are they will complicate everything.

If a man seems a prospect meet him in a neutral place within a week or two, spend an hour finding out his story, use your instincts. You may meet several frogs before you meet Prince Charming

My experience in online dating is the scammers normally have kids similar ages and work away etc so I wouldn’t be so worried by his age or wealth I’d be more concerned that he was real. If you haven’t met for a coffee etc in a public place in 2/3 weeks no excuses why not I’d be moving on I’m assuming you have checked his photos are real and have video time him etc. I don’t date a man for what he’s got I date a man for who he is I’m old school lol

Why not just date for a while and if someone comes along that you like start to think about a relationship.

Obviously nobody knows how things will go but dating someone much older could lead you to becoming a carer in later life.

As OP was March, probably moved on now

You say you are in touch with 2 men, one younger and one older. Have you actually met either of them? If not, what is the point of worrying about age difference or children at this stage?

I’m 65 and I wouldn’t consider settling down with anyone 10 years older than I am. I’ve dated a few and we just aren’t on the same page; either they’ve already done the things I want to do in retirement or they are no longer interested in them.

It’s a bad sign when they ask if you’ve started having a nap in the afternoons yet!

So we’re more than 2 months on and no return from CIiz

'Enough mileage' made me laugh!

I think you need to stop being so calculated.
Being highly educated doesn’t mean you have emotional intelligence, this is what is needed.

OP
I really think you are overthinking this & making the comment “ I searched diligently “. Is really a tad too far in my mind .
Online dating is a minefield, you need to tread carefully , have your wits about you . Also you need to have fun , go on dates & enjoy yourself . I met my DH online .
Just because someone is “ affluent” does not make them an ideal partner .
If you have never had children & are looking to have a relationship with someone whose child is coming to Teenage years well good luck with that . Because even if you have your own as I did ( my 2 eldest GC were the same age as my DH youngest DS’s) it isn’t always a smooth ride .
But good luck to you ,be kind to yourself & think about that house buying that Callisstonmon21 mentioned you may prefer the house with the drive or the one with the tatty red tiled path may be the best buy you will,never know , lower the standard & take a chance .

Callistemon21

These are their online profiles.
The reality could be quite different.

I can't imagine searching diligently for a chap

It sounds rather like househunting or researching washing machines.

Callisemon21
I hear you , that was my mantra of dating being like househunting . I also did online dating 20 years ago .
It was a minefield then & from what I’ve heard is even worse now .
I chatted to my now DH for 4 months before we met & I didn’t know what his salary scale was . If I liked someone & it felt right he could have been a bin man or a banker .with my romantic head on I thought the one for me would be the one who arrived with flowers.
He made me laugh still does even when I’m moaning about him not getting up 🤣& on our first actual date (17years 21st of this month in fact) he phoned me when he arrived at the chosen venue to ask what I would like to drink, that was a s good as the flowers 🌷

For goodness sake, OP, you sound as if you're buying a second hand car! Do you want the lower mileage model with a few bumps and scrapes? Or the one with a prestige badge but more on the clock? Make sure you check the bodywork for rust and inspect the tyres....

I would like to say you should get to know these men properly, in person and see how you get on but feel it would be kinder to tell both of them to run for the hills.

I did not meet my (fairly new) partner through a dating site but I'm certain that, if either of us had joined such a site and described ourselves accurately, the other would have swiped away. It's not about affluence, home ownership, age or grandchildren. What matters is kindness, loyalty, shared laughter, a sense of responsibility, shared values and the certainty that the other person will always be there for you no matter what.

I hope you find what you're looking for.

I made the decision in my late 50s he is 10 yrs older, both of us have adult children and no baggage, I get on well with his family, 5 yrs on were married.

I would say don’t overthink the age difference, what matters is how well you get on and enjoy living together, it took me 3 months before I moved in. Keep your finances separate of course, if you have a house rent it out, you never know what the future will bring.

I wasn’t actually looking for a relationship but after the second date I knew it was going to happen, we have very similar interests and do most things together. I wouldn’t have wanted us to have a lot of different activities spending time apart.

Sorry, but I would advise the men to run, you're coming across as very cold and calculating!

These are their online profiles.
The reality could be quite different.

I can't imagine searching diligently for a chap

It sounds rather like househunting or researching washing machines.

I'm sorry CLiz but I do find your approach very self centred. Children & grandchildren are not there to make your life better and in fact could be the cause of disagreements as we have seen so often on Gransnet.
You don't mention friendship or love in your post, just a 'diligent search' . I wonder how prospective partners view your search.

My apologies OP I misread the post.

Oh dear don’t like this planned romance stuff
No comment

Love happens, it’s not something you can plan for.

The OP is not childless by choice rafichagran.

At the end of the day it's the person that counts, not their age. I think 10 years difference either way could work. I have two friends happily married for many years to men 10 years younger than them. I know a childless woman in her late 40s who married a widower with grandchildren. She gained an instant, loving family that she thought had passed her by. We change as we age and illness can strike at anytime so you have no idea what the future may bring. This is why you need to focus on personality rather than the other issues. Does he make you laugh? Is he responsible? Will he have your back now matter what? Is he kind? How's his relationships with his family? Could you stand being in his company day after day with nothing much happening? Do you love him? So many things to consider but I think you need to edit your spreadsheet, remove some of the material criteria and add in some more emotional/personality based ones. Good luck with your search.