Petition: Give legal right of contact between grandchildren and grandparents

Good grief!
No wonder some posts are deleted.

That's how parents should be DL and thank goodness many are and don't allow their personal grievances to prevent their children from knowing their GP's and other extended family members.

Accusations that they're toxic, undermine the parents and any relationship with GP's will be unhealthy is unfortunately all too easy for some parents to claim to further their own agenda, and is why we need courts to decide whether or not this is the case.

Thank goodness parents aren't the only ones who get to decide because that perceived right, does not override the rights given to children in the Children Act and we all know don't we, that in some cases what's right for the child is the last thing on some parents minds.

It takes an extreme level of arrogance to feel justified in this level of controlling and bullying behaviour I was thinking the same SingcoTime when I read your posts standing by and defending the post you made that GNHQ deleted.

DiamondLily

maddyone

We often don’t know the back story of a post. Why would we? Unless the poster has shared or there have been PMs between two posters (and by it’s very nature PM means private) then we have no way to know. We can only respond to what has been written. I don’t think GPs should have automatic rights, but unless there there are very compelling reasons why they shouldn’t see their grandchildren, then I think it unreasonable for parents to deny access.
I benefited enormously from the relationship I had with my grandparents when I was a child. So did my parents, they had readymade babysitters.

Most families work like that.

They function healthily and happily. They jog along and discuss any issues that might arise.

I loved both my GM’s and one of them was a huge support to me, through life.

I hope I’ve had and got a good relationship with my GCs.

Whatever my parents might have thought of their parents, they, at no point, used that by withholding contact with myself and my brother, for no good reason.🙂

What a grandparent sees as no good reason, a parent may see as unhealthy and undermining. Grandparents don't get to decide for parents which reasons are and aren't valid.

Smileless2012

So any desperate GP who may sign this petition must be a narc, a control freak with a bullying nature!!! Thank goodness there have been in the main, sensible responses on this thread.

That's standard procedure for closed sites DL. Not all require a 'forum name', some do allow you to use another if you feel safer doing so on the site, but your initial application must be in your actual name to try and avoid anyone who isn't genuine.

Yes, in a nutshell. Parents get to decide which relationships their minor children have. Others don't necessarily have to agree with decisions parents make for their children, but to go so far as to attempt to legislate a diminishing of a parents rights over their children makes one a bully, narcissist. I don't need the validation of Gransnet to view my opinion as sensible. There's a wide world, the majority actually, who agree. But more relevant to this topic, the courts and legislatures in most countries agree. No need for validation on this site. Reality is valid enough for me :-)

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Quotes a deleted post

maddyone

We often don’t know the back story of a post. Why would we? Unless the poster has shared or there have been PMs between two posters (and by it’s very nature PM means private) then we have no way to know. We can only respond to what has been written. I don’t think GPs should have automatic rights, but unless there there are very compelling reasons why they shouldn’t see their grandchildren, then I think it unreasonable for parents to deny access.
I benefited enormously from the relationship I had with my grandparents when I was a child. So did my parents, they had readymade babysitters.

Most families work like that.

They function healthily and happily. They jog along and discuss any issues that might arise.

I loved both my GM’s and one of them was a huge support to me, through life.

I hope I’ve had and got a good relationship with my GCs.

Whatever my parents might have thought of their parents, they, at no point, used that by withholding contact with myself and my brother, for no good reason.🙂

Whether others signed it is no one else’s business anyway. If I’d have agreed with it, I’d have signed it, regardless of what others think or whether they got upset.

Some posts are attempts at bullying, and some posts do get personal.

Most of have had difficulties through life, because that’s what life does. That’s no excuse to strop around being personally aggressive to others.🙄

I fail to see how SingcoTime's post couldn't be taken personally VS which is probably why it was deleted.

We often don’t know the back story of a post. Why would we? Unless the poster has shared or there have been PMs between two posters (and by it’s very nature PM means private) then we have no way to know. We can only respond to what has been written. I don’t think GPs should have automatic rights, but unless there there are very compelling reasons why they shouldn’t see their grandchildren, then I think it unreasonable for parents to deny access.
I benefited enormously from the relationship I had with my grandparents when I was a child. So did my parents, they had readymade babysitters.

It doesn't seem to matter to some if they do know a poster has a difficult back story Callistemon, as we can see from some of the responses on this thread .

Yes some people probably have had a bad experience

No one signed it though so don't see any need to take it personally?

Or maybe we have secret signers lol

How was I to know this poster had a very difficult back-story?

I'm still not sure what it meant anyway!

I'm not surprised it felt like bullying Callistemon. There's no need to be unpleasant and I always think when someone is that they've already lost the argument.

Doesn't sound like you at all; whatever it means .

Smileless2012

^The endless need some have to criticise and blame grandparents is out of place here^ I agree too Iam, it's a pity some can't contribute to these discussions and be able to see beyond their own personal experiences.

I agree, there was someone earlier on the thread who took umbrage at what I thought was my balanced post for no reason and insinuated that I was being vehemently sanctimonious.

Whatever that might mean!

But it felt like bullying.

The endless need some have to criticise and blame grandparents is out of place here

Yes, it's like a form of bullying.

The endless need some have to criticise and blame grandparents is out of place here I agree too Iam, it's a pity some can't contribute to these discussions and be able to see beyond their own personal experiences.

Iam64

flappergirl, you’re correct, applications to the family court can be made. Mediation will always be expected. The majority of families live well with loving relationships between generations. Some families struggle but muddle through. Total denial of children to grandchildren relationships are rare. Legal solutions rarely help but if there’s child focussed goodwill, mediation may help
The endless need some have to criticise and blame grandparents is out of place here

Yes, it’s bizarre to come onto a site mainly used by GPs and then constantly tell them they must be poor grandparents. 🙄

We are not clones - everyone, of whatever age, is different.

Smileless2012

Even if anyone does sign Delila, it doesn't mean they're a narc, control freak with a bullying nature. Just another example of GP bashing.

Of course it doesn’t. People can sign what they like. I wouldn’t, because I think case by case is better, but I wouldn’t condemn others who did.🙄

Well, some do like GP bashing. All GPs. We can’t do right for doing wrong at times lol 😉

flappergirl, you’re correct, applications to the family court can be made. Mediation will always be expected. The majority of families live well with loving relationships between generations. Some families struggle but muddle through. Total denial of children to grandchildren relationships are rare. Legal solutions rarely help but if there’s child focussed goodwill, mediation may help
The endless need some have to criticise and blame grandparents is out of place here

Bit late to this party but I will not be signing the petition. I believe there is legal redress through the courts for estranged grandparents where, I presume, familial circumstances are duly examined. This seems to be a much safer and fairer way to gain access rather than an automatic right which could be abused.

Singco I am not going to sign the petition, but I find your post very odd and so aggressive.

Even if anyone does sign Delila, it doesn't mean they're a narc, control freak with a bullying nature. Just another example of GP bashing.

Smileless2012

So any desperate GP who may sign this petition must be a narc, a control freak with a bullying nature!!! Thank goodness there have been in the main, sensible responses on this thread.

That's standard procedure for closed sites DL. Not all require a 'forum name', some do allow you to use another if you feel safer doing so on the site, but your initial application must be in your actual name to try and avoid anyone who isn't genuine.

Ah right. I’ve joined the odd FB closed group, mainly neighbourhood things, which connect you anyway.

But, I’ve not got much experience on other closed groups - I tend to use open forums more.🙂

SingcoTime, go and have a cup of tea and a quiet sit-down, and chill. Have you actually read the thread? If so, you’ve somehow missed that the prevailing opinion is against the petition.