Husband’s mood swings impacting his relationship with my AC

I think you have made a good start to dealing with the situation, and recognising your husbands problems at the moment is also important.Things may improve a great deal as the baby gets to toddler age and then becomes an interesting little person that he can talk to and teach things and read to. He would perhaps have much more knowledge and experience of dealing with someone he can talk to , and would be able to spend a little time with them and then say he needed to have a rest or go and do a job and excuse himself for a while. So there is good home for better days in the future. You could also speak to him in a little while, and say that you are glad that this situation has made you aware of the problems he is coping with now, showing him that you still care a lot about him and his needs and that he doesnt have to be jealous of the baby, you have enough love and care to go around. Wishing you all the best

As MissAdventure name has come up on this old thread does anyone know how she is we haven’t had a update for a long time I d like her to know we haven’t forgotten her
MissA 💐💐❤️

REPORTED.
Calvin’s post - it’s an advert.

Cossy we don't know how much effort he is making.
He may be making a huge effort inside.

He is having to manage a difficult condition (which is presumably managed to some extent by his walking and by having a very stable home environment) and now he has a baby spanner in the works.

I don't think we can assume that just getting through the day/ living with this is doing nothing .

Tracer, if you go to the top of the page you'll find forum headings.
Chat is used most often.
Click on that heading and there is the option to add discussion.
Click on that, write a quick heading, then your issue in the next part.

How do I do that?

TracerD, perhaps you should start a new thread for your concern.

Hi everyone,
I’m looking for advice on what to do to navigate issues with my live in boyfriend and my AC. Although he’s loves and thinks the world of my kids he is very critical of my children at times. My son is 23 and my daughter is 19. They are both very responsible young adults working making their own money the older one paying rent they pay for their own car, insurance and cars and phone bills. A bit of a perfectionist with them in regards to the way they help out around the house. Occasionally, they get lazy about it. Today was the icing on the cake. I was home resting because I’m recovering from a workplace injury. I had been crying and he had helped me relax but I fell asleep on the couch. My daughter came in from work. She made a bit of noise getting her lunch and talking to a friend. It wasn’t enough to bother me. But he got annoyed and told her to be quiet and swore at her. He and his family swear sometimes but I thought his reaction was way out of line. He put her in tears and I felt it was uncalled for. She texted and told him how she felt. He went for a walk probably to cool off. But he has sworn like this before. I love him and I know he loves me and my kids but I feel he needs to back off and not talk like that.

Norah

Callistemon21

Norah

welbeck

an adult guest for 3 days is quite a lot to endure, plus a baby, and for 4 or 5 days, i can sympathise with him.

I'd add an adult guest plus baby is too much to endure over almost any night - hotels have been invented for many reasons, this is one.

I have great sympathy with him.

I'd add an adult guest plus baby is too much to endure over almost any night - hotels have been invented for many reasons, this is one

Good grief!
This is the OP's daughter and grandchild, not some random visitor.

From your posts, I thought you were very family-orientated 🤔

I suppose I might be described, by some, as family oriented. However, I do believe that hotels have been invented for a reason.

I like to arise in a quiet home, have coffee together with my husband, walk the dog(s) a few miles, come home clean up - before an invasion. People underfoot after 9-10am until 6-7pm is plenty enough for me

It seems I was agreeing with the husband and perhaps not you.

I didn't mean to sound grumpy 🤔

It's Mother's Day in Australia!

Queenslandnana

I thought some may be interested in an update. After my daughter left and the dust had settled I had a candid conversation with my husband who admitted he felt “claustrophobic” with the baby in the house. He admits he knows little about babies but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like GD. He also divulged his anti-depressants are making him irritable and angry 😡 (towards everyone not just visitors). He has agreed to seeing a new doctor for medication review. I have made it clear it is my home as well and my family will always be welcome … he agrees and if he doesn’t feel up to it he’ll go away for a few days. My husband has no family and biological links are not always the be all …. Up to now we’ve been a tight knit family … and hopefully once baby is a bit older and he’s feeling better we’ll be back to supporting each other. Thanks all!

A good resolution.

Hope all works out well, Queenslandnana

Norah

Callistemon21

Norah

welbeck

an adult guest for 3 days is quite a lot to endure, plus a baby, and for 4 or 5 days, i can sympathise with him.

I'd add an adult guest plus baby is too much to endure over almost any night - hotels have been invented for many reasons, this is one.

I have great sympathy with him.

I'd add an adult guest plus baby is too much to endure over almost any night - hotels have been invented for many reasons, this is one

Good grief!
This is the OP's daughter and grandchild, not some random visitor.

From your posts, I thought you were very family-orientated 🤔

I suppose I might be described, by some, as family oriented. However, I do believe that hotels have been invented for a reason.

I like to arise in a quiet home, have coffee together with my husband, walk the dog(s) a few miles, come home clean up - before an invasion. People underfoot after 9-10am until 6-7pm is plenty enough for me

It seems I was agreeing with the husband and perhaps not you.

I do understand, so do I! But not everyone has DC on the doorstep or even an hour's drive away.

I think it's rather unreasonable for a young mother with a small baby to pay for flights then stay in a hotel every time she wants to see her Mum because of a grumpy step-father, when her motherxwants to make them welcome.

Great update from the OP and it seems that after a Frank chat all seems to heading in a more positive direction.

I’m actually a bit speechless about those who feel having a much loved daughter and her baby to stay for 3-4 days is a “great imposition” I love it when my step daughter comes and stays, she’s done this since our DGS was a baby. I shall welcome any other of our ask with their babies (should they have any), and so will my husband.

Family is about more than biology.

Glad you talked to him. Communication is the only way to resolve this stuff. None of us knows really what’s in another person’s head. It’s positive that he’s acknowledging he’s not comfortable and will have a medication review. Hope things improve for you.

Callistemon21

Norah

welbeck

an adult guest for 3 days is quite a lot to endure, plus a baby, and for 4 or 5 days, i can sympathise with him.

I'd add an adult guest plus baby is too much to endure over almost any night - hotels have been invented for many reasons, this is one.

I have great sympathy with him.

I'd add an adult guest plus baby is too much to endure over almost any night - hotels have been invented for many reasons, this is one

Good grief!
This is the OP's daughter and grandchild, not some random visitor.

From your posts, I thought you were very family-orientated 🤔

I suppose I might be described, by some, as family oriented. However, I do believe that hotels have been invented for a reason.

I like to arise in a quiet home, have coffee together with my husband, walk the dog(s) a few miles, come home clean up - before an invasion. People underfoot after 9-10am until 6-7pm is plenty enough for me

It seems I was agreeing with the husband and perhaps not you.

I'm the same with cats or monkeys.

So I going to say it, I’m a granny to 4 step GC and I really don’t enjoy it that much. Feel like I’m going through the motions when I see them and don’t feel close to them at all.

When my DH is sent WhatsApp videos of them , he shows me them and I make the right noises….arent they cute…how clever etc.. but really of no interest.

I think this would be different if my own DD had children ( which is looking unlikely)

So I play out a character so keep everyone happy whilst really not feeling it.

Btw..I can watch videos of my own dog for hours.

Norah

welbeck

an adult guest for 3 days is quite a lot to endure, plus a baby, and for 4 or 5 days, i can sympathise with him.

I'd add an adult guest plus baby is too much to endure over almost any night - hotels have been invented for many reasons, this is one.

I have great sympathy with him.

I'd add an adult guest plus baby is too much to endure over almost any night - hotels have been invented for many reasons, this is one

Good grief!
This is the OP's daughter and grandchild, not some random visitor.

From your posts, I thought you were very family-orientated 🤔

welbeck

esp suffering tinnitus and poss depression from war service, it's no wonder he has the hump.
did he agree this arrangement of his home being invaded in this way so frequently.

Being a veteran doesn't necessarily mean being in a war!
It is the term for anyone who was in the Armed Services.

Although he could have been in the Vietnam war, of course.

lemsip

He is not the grandpa of your Grandchild so why would he pretend to be. I am with your husband here,. go and visit your daughter and enjoy your grandchild that way.

Some step-fathers without children of their own prove to be excellent, supportive fathers and doting grandfathers.

Unfortunately, Queenslandnana, yourcDH doesn't seem to be one such but that's just how he is. I doubt he'll change although perhaps his medications need a review. He sounds like a man of set routines (ex-veteran).

Visiting your DD and baby DGD as often as possible on your own does seem to be the best way forward although I know how difficult that can be with the distances involved there.

Go and enjoy your new grandchild.

I thought some may be interested in an update. After my daughter left and the dust had settled I had a candid conversation with my husband who admitted he felt “claustrophobic” with the baby in the house. He admits he knows little about babies but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like GD. He also divulged his anti-depressants are making him irritable and angry 😡 (towards everyone not just visitors). He has agreed to seeing a new doctor for medication review. I have made it clear it is my home as well and my family will always be welcome … he agrees and if he doesn’t feel up to it he’ll go away for a few days. My husband has no family and biological links are not always the be all …. Up to now we’ve been a tight knit family … and hopefully once baby is a bit older and he’s feeling better we’ll be back to supporting each other. Thanks all!

welbeck

an adult guest for 3 days is quite a lot to endure, plus a baby, and for 4 or 5 days, i can sympathise with him.

I'd add an adult guest plus baby is too much to endure over almost any night - hotels have been invented for many reasons, this is one.

I have great sympathy with him.

an adult guest for 3 days is quite a lot to endure, plus a baby, and for 4 or 5 days, i can sympathise with him.

I don't doubt that for one minute.
I'm strictly speaking about my own feelings.

MissAdventure

I wouldn't want to be someone's granny, unless I was related to them.

I’m related, she’s my step/daughter, there’s just no biological connection. She has three half siblings by her father and myself, we all share the same surname, she considers my son her brother. We are a family.

I wouldn't want to be someone's granny, unless I was related to them.