Bottom of the list!

She’s come all the way from Australia so can’t you get a train or stay in a hotel? You’re in your sixties not nineties ! You don’t need your husband or family to help you . Get out of your comfort zone and plan this trip.

I can understand your concern about the drive. Could you work out the way to your destination by doing one journey with no changes, bu asking someone to drop you off at a coach station (even if it is 20 miles away) and be met at the other end?

If you have always travelled with your husband and he always drives, you have maybe lost a little confidence. If you can psych yourself up to go, imagine your cousin’s face, feel her hug you when you arrive ….. and the catchup, chat, photos.

If you need help choosing the route, go online or phone someone to help you plan ….. or come back here on a new thread for travel advice.

It is sometimes what we do not do that we regret especially if we tend to overthink.

Come back and let us know what you decide.

Definitely go by train with a rail card. They are very fast. Use Google maps to plot the journey and see how long it will take, where to change trains etc. Driving that far will be much slower

You know how not to be "bottom of the list"?

Stop. Put yourself first for once. Let him cook his own meals and look after himself. Then he might actually value you when you decide to return after seeing your family and having a nice break from being bottom.

Just go! You'll regret it if you don't!

Look into an buying either a seniors Rail card or National express do one too. Looking at the National express website you are guaranteed a seat and they do £15.00 journeys midweek so I would definitely look into that as first choice. Even if it gets you within an hour away from your cousins perhaps they can pick you up for the last bit.

You might be pleasantly surprised by the cost if you can book a rail ticket well in advance.
If it was me, I’d treat myself to a relaxing train journey (obviously if the stations are near by) and make a little holiday out of the trip.
I hope you manage the journey, however you decide to travel, and enjoy seeing your cousins.

''Meet'' her on Facebook. I know it's a poor substitute, but it means you have more time to talk to her, and spend less energy and money.

Do you know which airport she's leaving from? Is that nearer or more accessible to you?

An overnight at a B&B going up there is good advice?

Perhaps you could meet up the night before she travels back? I love AirBnb. I have visions of you with a takeaway and a bottle of wine, reminiscing into the wee small hours. Go for it

Definitely go! Imagine the fun you’ll have once you get there. I don’t drive but take the bus everywhere. I’ve gone on holiday by myself too when my husband never fancied it - it boosted my confidence no end. 🥰

My husband was a sweatheart, he would have done it to please me whether he knew the person or not, isn't that what marriage is, supporting each other, its a once in a lifetime.

Go for it,it will be fun,”Nothing a woman can’t do” Might encourage future trips !

I dont drive anyway so am unable to judge the effects of a 6 hour car journey. Ive done coach and rail travel all over the UK as a result of not driving. Did landrover journeys all over the middle east when I was younger.

Others have suggested taking a few days away at a nice hotel and making a short break of it regardless of how you travel. This seems to be a good option. It will remind your hasband that you dont need to rely on him for company or as a chauffeur.

I wonder how many employers would be happy about their employees taking several days off to support their spouses on a 'once in a lifetime' jolly?

As others have suggested. Find a way to go via public transport. You will always regret it if you don't make the effort. Oh, and remember your husband's refusal to help when he expects you to put yourself out for him.

Some rather harsh comments here! Six hours on a lone journey may be nervewracking for some; we don't all have the same experience and expertise behind the wheel.

Train is a good option, as some have said, and if the final destination is some miles from the station surely her cousin's family would understand and come and collect her?
What about her husband's behaviour? Why can't they both go over a weekend when he isn't working? I'd feel very let down by that level of inflexibility.
Good luck Frufru. I hope you make it to see your cousin in a way that's comfortable for you.

Good luck

A six hour journey there and back, plus seeing the cousin , in a weekend?

I think lots of women with families become unused to traveling alone and lose their confidence (I saw this with my mum). But you are just the right age to start building it up again - and your cousin’s visit to the UK is just the push you need. Think of all the adventures it could open up in the years to come. Perhaps this is what DH and rest of your family are trying to encourage you to do? Go girl!

I lost my confidence after shielding for two years, during the Pandemic and not driving. I realised I was relying on family, especially my DH to do the all driving.
Finally I realised that life would be difficult if anything happened to my husband, so I resolved to do something about it. I forced myself to drive alternative routes and then bought a new car to make driving easier.only you can change things.

Do you have a senior railcard? Saves 1/3 on trains.

You can do this Frufru. Either drive in small stages or get a rail card or go National Express. Can you find someone to accompany you? There might be someone who wants to go that way too so ask around you never know. My friend in her 80’s regularly visits family in Scandinavia. She doesn’t especially like travelling but the end product helps her overcome it. Blow the money - you may never see her again and you will regret not going. Maybe dh could cough up for it as he can’t take time off work.

eazybee

I wonder how many employers would be happy about their employees taking several days off to support their spouses on a 'once in a lifetime' jolly?

That’s what annual leave is for! You don’t have to justify why you are taking it.

And annual leave has to be booked well in advance or booked within a fixed period.

To put it another way...

Don't take people for granted. Don't leave room for regret. According to a hospice nurse, the number one regret people have is not doing things they wanted to.

If you have your health, mobility and strength, go for it on your own. You may be scared, but face the fear, it will be worth it.

I agree win , NannaFirework that is a very offensive remark - I hope you are ashamed of yourself. You know nothing about Frufru or her husband.
An apology would not go amiss.