My Ex

Cossy

BlueBelle

This is malicious
First no one’s business much less an EX of 10 years for crying out loud she shouldn’t be in his business 10 years after they parted
Second she doesn’t even know … just ‘thinks’ so how does she know is she spying on him or looking on his phone etc ?
All you who are ‘shocked’ at men looking at porn might be surprised how many men and women do
Poster didn’t suggest it was anything to do with children or young people that’s a made up story by a poster way up
There is NOTHING to suggest a man who watches adult films would not be a good Dad or grandad
He sounds a very good Dad and they ve been apart 10 years leave him alone and get out his business Melinda

Yes!

agreed

BlueBelle

This is malicious
First no one’s business much less an EX of 10 years for crying out loud she shouldn’t be in his business 10 years after they parted
Second she doesn’t even know … just ‘thinks’ so how does she know is she spying on him or looking on his phone etc ?
All you who are ‘shocked’ at men looking at porn might be surprised how many men and women do
Poster didn’t suggest it was anything to do with children or young people that’s a made up story by a poster way up
There is NOTHING to suggest a man who watches adult films would not be a good Dad or grandad
He sounds a very good Dad and they ve been apart 10 years leave him alone and get out his business Melinda

Yes!

As others have said leave well alone. Am sure your ex is not going to allow his porn addiction to impact upon your daughter or anyone else.
And though you may not approve of your ex viewing porn you could be over egging the pudding by calling it an addiction, some adults just like to watch porn regularly, and as long as it isn’t underage porn there is nothing you can do about it.
You are more likely to cause an impact upon your daughter if you make a big deal out of this.

People can have any boundaries they like. I remember a man once popped onto MN to ask what was the best thing he could do as he was about to be a father to a daughter. Most of the replies were dont have porn in the house. Its not a question of being shocked, it's that many people view porn as abusive and it is certainly causing damage to young people. The last government were talking about instigating a study into the impact on young people but if course that didnt happen.

This is malicious
First no one’s business much less an EX of 10 years for crying out loud she shouldn’t be in his business 10 years after they parted
Second she doesn’t even know … just ‘thinks’ so how does she know is she spying on him or looking on his phone etc ?
All you who are ‘shocked’ at men looking at porn might be surprised how many men and women do
Poster didn’t suggest it was anything to do with children or young people that’s a made up story by a poster way up
There is NOTHING to suggest a man who watches adult films would not be a good Dad or grandad
He sounds a very good Dad and they ve been apart 10 years leave him alone and get out his business Melinda

OP, how did you discover your ex ‘may be’ addicted to online pornography? Did you go into his phone/computer, or things he has said?
I’d be very interested to know.

I’m very wary of these dubious posts by new users who rarely return.

Perhaps the OP could come back and explain further?

MissAdventure

None of those terms should be used about this person, regardless.
It has no bearing at all in his daughter's relationship with him, and is his own business.

This!

Ship not shop obviously

I dont think it's about whether people have a right to know things, she does seem to know things,that shop seems to have sailed. I knew as a child about the usage of a friends family member. I didnt ask to know but couldnt unknow once I did if you see what I mean.

Well, that depends on whether the relationship is based on love and respect, and not all are.

I just know I'd be beyond lived if people (an ex!) felt entitled to know the facts of my personal life.

Porn is not the same as a relationship.

But we don't know what his addiction refers to, do we.
Ofcourse if he was a paedophile he should be reported but there is no evidence that he is.
You are probably worrying unnecessarily.
Melinda
Sometimes ignorance is bliss.
Enjoy your DGC when it arrives.

Shelflife

Louisa, does 't matter which term is used, although I respect the fact that a different term is used in professional environment - however it is described, it amounts to the same.
None of us know whether or not he is accessing material that involves children. What I do know is if this were my ex and I saw him regularly in a family setting I would consider my business!! and would do all I could to determine what he was watching. I am astounded at the attitude that says keep out of his busines - off the scene, living miles away -nothing to go with me! On the
' doorstep ' seeing out daughter and future GC - that's a completely different story.

It really does matter......no matter who you are......You need to educate yourself....
Maybe start on the nspcc website

So if he had a woman friend, would people think they needed to know every detail of their sex life, in case it was unsavoury in some way?

Louisa, does 't matter which term is used, although I respect the fact that a different term is used in professional environment - however it is described, it amounts to the same.
None of us know whether or not he is accessing material that involves children. What I do know is if this were my ex and I saw him regularly in a family setting I would consider my business!! and would do all I could to determine what he was watching. I am astounded at the attitude that says keep out of his busines - off the scene, living miles away -nothing to go with me! On the
' doorstep ' seeing out daughter and future GC - that's a completely different story.

None of your business.

Nobody knows if it is excessive use.
Nobody knows this man will be looking after a child, and certainly nobody knows the content of his viewing.

I wouldnt let anyone addicted to porn look after my child, people have different boundaries. Porn use and particularly excessive use is not harmless. In addition the stories of those who have escaped from the porn industry are horrific. It is also proving to be anything but harmless for young people.

None of those terms should be used about this person, regardless.
It has no bearing at all in his daughter's relationship with him, and is his own business.

Off topic....but the term 'child pornography' shouldn't be used .....several other phrases you can choose from .....we use child sexual abuse material.....in my place of work .....

Nobody has hinted, even, that it is child porn!!!

I think Melinda is invested in her ex husband because he is the father of their daughter! Melinda you need to be sure if your facts , is he watching child pornography ? If so you have every right to interfere especially as your DD is expecting a child. It seems you have a reasonable relationship with your ex and that makes it more complicated. If you never saw him this would be a different situation.
I understand why people are saying this is one of your business however......... ? Not sure that if in your situation I would be able to butt out. Yes butt out if he was miles away and I never saw him , but as this is not the case I am not sure which course of a action I would take! Think the first step would be to have the facts straight .

You only suspect OP you do not know. Keep quiet. Posters have asked how you found out, please could you answer this, were you being nosey by any chance?
Why are you so invested in your EX husband?