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Online dating worry

(222 Posts)
Beau1958 Mon 19-Aug-24 12:14:04

Out of the blue I received a message in my inbox on Tik-tok from a handsome looking serviceman in the US army he’s stationed in Poland. We started chatting sharing our brief life history, likes, dislikes etc. he messages me most days and has sent over two photos of himself and has asked me to leave tik tok to a different platform Google chat. I am quite wary of scammers and up to now no real red flags apart from ignoring some of my questions. His name badge and online name match he is around my age 60 possibly a few young’s younger. He is getting quite deep and meaningful in his messages about what he wants in a relationship and he’s looking for real meaningful love. He sounds like my ideal man and I was so excited about receiving his messages but a friend pointed out it could be a scammer. Has anyone had this experience before. What would you do ? I don’t want to put him off by asking him straight out?

Bankhurst Sun 25-Aug-24 12:48:41

I dabble in internet dating and have had quite a few would-be scammers. I can now spot them - good looking and they say they are not British. They often have a home somewhere nice, but for various reasons are not living there. Sometimes they have picked an unusual place to live - Westminster, Holborn,City of London. Many say they own a dog - seem to think it will appeal to older UK women. They answer specific questions with vague replies.
Just give this man up! You know what they say about ‘too good to be true’. It seems he has picked up the identity of a real US serviceman.
No harm done, I hope. You are safe unless you
- give him any money, any financial details or your address
-arrange to meet him in a non-public space, or out of the country
- get into a car with him

Grandma2002 Sun 25-Aug-24 12:47:28

I must lead a very uninteresting life, all this knowledgeable information about scams!
I have heard of them but usually when they have been reported in the press.

Loobyloo12 Sun 25-Aug-24 12:44:55

I did online dating for a considerable number of years. I had two of this type. Why would someone get deep before you've even met in person?
I was a bit gullible but also a bit sceptical (if that is possible,) It's a scam. We are just so needing of that kind of romantic interest. Eventually I met someone e who lived in the next town and wanted a meeting in person without any chatting. Beware those who only text and won't phone you. You must insist on meeting in YOUR town not theirs. I say all this because I've been there and made the mistakes.

Lankyladman Sun 25-Aug-24 12:44:47

It's a con
I'm so glad everyone else on here can give you the same advice as myself.
There's other, safer dating apps out there
Just do some homework. we ALL need love. You understand, of course!

Mirren Sun 25-Aug-24 12:44:04

Get out now !

He is false.

I have had several contacts on FB from US servicemen wanting to be my friend because of my " attractive photo " or my amusing, thoughtful comments.
I know this is a scam because a ) I could never be considered that " attractive " and b) I rarely post anything, least of all anything witty or thoughtful.
They have just cottoned on to the fact I am an older lady and are chancing their luck.
They don't seem to notice I actually have a husband!!
However, I may be aging but I am far from naive ...so they are instantly blocked.
I suggest you do the same NOW !!
This will tug at your heart but don't think.
Just do it !

MissAdventure Sun 25-Aug-24 12:43:07

They're incorrigible!

Beau1958 Sun 25-Aug-24 12:41:55

Yes he did mention God and proclaimed to be a chaplain!

Beau1958 Sun 25-Aug-24 12:40:22

Thankyou so much for all your advice apart from some ladies not believing me which I found astounding. Anyway I have blocked him and reported him to Tik-Tok they have done a report and found he had violated their community guidelines and he can no longer send anyone direct messages. So hopefully no one else can fall a victim to him. He was so convincing it scary !

Suzejp Sun 25-Aug-24 12:37:48

I've had quite a few service men who are abroad. Usually widower, children live with grandparents could be Germany or USA
Proclaim you're wonderful,lovely and want to retire to be with you
Might mention God and religion or sound religious
Don't believe videos as they break up and are false. Look closely at photos that you can see things that don't look right
They don't answer questions that aren't on their script!
It's definitely sounds like a scam
Block them

MissAdventure Sun 25-Aug-24 12:33:12

Beware though, as people have been taken in by the scammer admitting it, and then drawing their victim in by sad stories of how they had no choice, but are now going to change their ways.
(With their victim's help, of course!(

Jess20 Sun 25-Aug-24 12:31:22

Can you reverse search the photos? They are often stolen from a real person.

Vintagegirl Sun 25-Aug-24 12:26:02

Well you could go along with it for a bit of entertainment! My mother was in her 90's when cold called by a scammer. She kept it up for three weeks.....

Newatthis Sun 25-Aug-24 12:25:38

glammagran

The most prolific dating scammers are Nigerians according to what I’ve read.

This is a well known fact - get running before you lose everything!!

Mamma7 Sun 25-Aug-24 12:24:10

I get a few of these via Messenger - often from Americans and they are always in the forces or work for NASA/astronauts and look like film stars 🤣 I’ve never replied. Please be careful.

TwinLolly Sun 25-Aug-24 12:21:15

Sometimes I've done reverse picture searches and discovered the person is not who they are.

Recently a man tried to private message me on Facebook. Being a married woman I didn't respond to his messages but i was curious. His own Facebook profile loooked legit but on doing google searches the guy was hiding behind a talented surgeon's name. I reported it to Facebook.

Mojack26 Sun 25-Aug-24 12:20:43

Scam,classic! Do not reply just block him!

Mojack26 Sun 25-Aug-24 12:18:12

Block him, usually scammers... they steal someone's profile and use it...they are usually ' US servicemen,doctors,dentists etc' Get them all the time on FB...all scammers usually from Africa

TwinLolly Sun 25-Aug-24 12:14:40

When I was on a dating website I got contacted by a few "American servicemen" serving in Afghanistan. Sometimes I got ghosted by them after chatting a while. I sniffed a rat and stopped all contacts with them. After that, any American servicemen coming into my inbox dating app - I didn't respond. I was following a gut feeling about all if them. Am now happily married to a delightful chap who was my real deal. No military background, not American.

Knittypamela Sun 25-Aug-24 12:12:02

He's a scammer. The photos he sends you are stolen from someone else. They use handsome older men, mainly military. Please block him.

Grandadpete Sun 25-Aug-24 12:11:24

Did you know the word "Gullible" is not in the dictionary ?

MissAdventure Sun 25-Aug-24 12:09:51

Sorry, I'm lost.
Do people think Beau is making up a story?

win Sun 25-Aug-24 12:07:24

MissAdventure

Why would this post be a scam?
As everyone is pointing out, it's not exactly unheard of.

Honestly Miss Adventure!!!!!

Madmeg Sun 25-Aug-24 12:06:03

I shouldn't joke but I'm a bit miffed that no handsome American Serviceman has ever contacted me via FB or any other medium.

My very elderly widowed cousin was scammed about 10 years ago by a South African woman (or so "she" said) and lost thousands supposedly getting her and her sick son over to the UK. It wasn't till he contacted his sister for a loan cos he had run out of money that the family stepped in and stopped it pronto.

A close friend nearly lost money through something similar but she first asked me what I thought. My advice was "if you think it has even a one-per-cent chance of being a scam, it probably is". The fact that the OP has queried it means don't go there.

MissAdventure Sun 25-Aug-24 12:05:28

The poster "woke up" as soon as it was pointed out to her.

win Sun 25-Aug-24 12:02:49

Beau1958

Out of the blue I received a message in my inbox on Tik-tok from a handsome looking serviceman in the US army he’s stationed in Poland. We started chatting sharing our brief life history, likes, dislikes etc. he messages me most days and has sent over two photos of himself and has asked me to leave tik tok to a different platform Google chat. I am quite wary of scammers and up to now no real red flags apart from ignoring some of my questions. His name badge and online name match he is around my age 60 possibly a few young’s younger. He is getting quite deep and meaningful in his messages about what he wants in a relationship and he’s looking for real meaningful love. He sounds like my ideal man and I was so excited about receiving his messages but a friend pointed out it could be a scammer. Has anyone had this experience before. What would you do ? I don’t want to put him off by asking him straight out?

For goodness sake wake up this is a well known scam, million of ladies have been caught looking for this "Ideal" man you are quoting. Drop him, do not answer any more messages as otherwise you will soon find your bank balance gone. You have been warned.