Slightly awkward conversations.

So what should she have said theexwife should she have said ‘oh that ll be wonderful if you move away and make a new life a long way away’ or should she have said ‘ oh dear I don’t want you to go away from here can’t you stay please ?????’
The first is not what she wants at all so a lie the second would put untold pressure on the daughter !!!!
Likewise secondly if she said to the son that ll be lovely for you to go away at Christmas and leave me all alone lie lie or ‘Can I come with you I don’t want to be alone at Christmas’ ? Pressure

I think her silence probably did more than words, they can read the silence to mean ‘mums not over happy with this what shall we do’ and that’s what it should be their decision without anyone’s verbal pressure

It might be a good time to consider your possible options and think what you would enjoy, ignoring any expectations about the date. So you might end up with a couple of possibilities such as going somewhere where you could try out something you have thought about but not done. Alternatively , you could think about having a "normal" day at christmas and not expect anything special on that day, perhaps save some good tv programmes you might enjoy watching. Then when the holiday is over you could choose another day to meet up with the family.

I agree with BlueBelle on all counts. Especially the Christmas issue, far too much pressure all round. Look at alternative ways of spending your time at Christmas Cabbie21 . Wait and see what happens about moving abroad, it may come to nothing. My daughter moved abroad and I saw so many places whilst visiting her that otherwise I would not have travelled to.

I am sure those conversations were not easy on either end

You did well, no need to comment on those statements

Your AC were kind on keeping you in the loop so you can make plans for the future

If I had made those announcements and nothing was said I would assume the listener was not interested or had no thoughts either way.

I would think they wanted to see your reaction as there seems no other reason to mention those events at this time.

One of the best Christmases I ever spent was when I went away alone and stayed in a hotel. I met some interesting people, ate lots of good food and I didn't have to help with the washing up.

Just saying, in case it comes to it.

First paragraph - I assume they know what needs you have? They are aware?

2nd paragraph - no, I wouldnt have said anything.
If it is raised again by them, I would just say something like, you enjoyed last Christmas with them.

No you shouldn't have said anything in either conversation.

In my opinion, wise parents express no opinions when the topic(s) is/are really none of their business. Well done you!

Our

I have had those times too. My son lives quite near to me but last year he said he may have to relocate to London with his job. I felt sad about this but like you said nothing. It hasn't happened so far and I realised I shouldn't rely on my children as their lives change and they have other commitments.
Christmas seems to be a bugbear for those of us on our own. I hope I am invited but I try to prepare for Christmas in my own. Lots of Grans are on their own at that time of year as I've found being on Gransnet.
I wouldn't say anything to your children. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst as the saying goes.
I do understand how upsetting it is when children carry on with their lives and you feel left behind. 💐

I lived alone for a number of years and never assumed that I would be invited to the AC's for Christmas - they had children of their own and in laws. We were able to get together to exchange gifts but not on Christmas Day. I made a point of either volunteering at a local care/nursing home, out local hospital or the hospice. There was always someone with no visitors or someone to talk to and an extra pair of hands did take the pressure off the staff.

No you shouldn’t have said anything so you did the right thing and you shouldn’t be openly worried or upset if either of those things happen They may not but if they do although I totally understand you would be disappointed if your daughter and family move away but it’s got to be their life and their decisions and you could have some lovely holidays to look forward to
As for Christmas I personally think there is far to much happiness or sadness hanging on the Christmas hook Make some plans in case you are left on your own and enjoy the peace if your are It’s only a couple of days after all