Never a cross word.

Tizliz- we too argued from Day 1. But you’re still married. I’m not…😂

MissInterpreted

In my (many) years as a journalist, I often had to interview couple celebrating big anniversaries, such as Golden or Diamond weddings, and from time to time, you would get a couple who claimed that they'd never had a cross word. I'd always think 'well, either you're lying - or one of you is a complete doormat'. I agree with Galaxy on this - it can't be healthy to never have argued or disagreed to some extent.

Yeah!
I do know two couples, married for quite a few years now, but nothing like 50, who say that they never argue.I believe them as both women are total doormats.

I have just had a massive post vanish with the words "aw snap!" - I won't write it all again but yes, my parents' friends celebrated 50 years "without an argument".

They were both really gentle loving people. Very witty and laughed a lot. They treated everyone the same whatever their "status" in life.

They had two sons. One just like them and one very unpleasant and rather grasping.

I loved them a lot. They were great friends with my parents for many years.

crazyH

*Tizliz*- we too argued from Day 1. But you’re still married. I’m not…😂

54 years - but it’s been a bit close at times 😁

I had an aunt who claimed that she and her husband never argued.
I went to a family get together organised by this aunt and her husband and I had to go back for my coat. As I went up to the front door I could hear the husband shouting and my aunt just quietly replying "Yes dear".

As it takes two to make an argument, I suppose she was telling the truth.

MissInterpreted

In my (many) years as a journalist, I often had to interview couple celebrating big anniversaries, such as Golden or Diamond weddings, and from time to time, you would get a couple who claimed that they'd never had a cross word. I'd always think 'well, either you're lying - or one of you is a complete doormat'. I agree with Galaxy on this - it can't be healthy to never have argued or disagreed to some extent.

Just what was going to say, that if they never had a cross word or disagreement then one of them must be a first!

Yes, we have disagreements. DH still can't get out of the habit of managing and I do not like to be managed. Mostly I just ignore it but not always.

I never, ever heard my parents swear or argue much although my father would occasionally slam the back door, muttering 'Damn and blast!!' and go out to his greenhouse. My mother would then mutter under her breath about him.

First??

I thought I typed doormat

As the late queen said, “Recollections may vary”.

I think this applies at wedding anniversary celebrations and also sometimes (sadly) at funerals.

Mmm... the wife may have had a different perspective.

When my marriage ended I was told by my church minister that he had been invited to a 50th wedding celebration, and that the wife took him on one side after all the speeches and toasts etc had been made.

She told him quite simply that she would have left him if she could.I've never forgotten that story, and often when I see couple celebrating in this way I wonder, 'What's really going on?'

We've known each other for 60 years and have never had a row. We discuss, compromise, and find balance. We both hate raised voices, insults, and disharmony and prefer brainstorming and pooling of ideas to achieve a mutual decision. There have been moments when the outside world has caused waves but never within our own four walls. But then again our motto is what can we bring to the table rather than what can we take from it.

Keepingquiet, I attended a funeral not so long ago, in which the vicar praised the devotion of the couple and the length of their marriage. We had realised during the wife's final illness that an utter lack of care towards the woman was actually what the marriage consisted of.

I was at a funeral recently and the wife stood up and made a long speech about how wonderful her late husband was.
It was toe curling for those of us listening, for we knew otherwise.

The celebrant said to me later, that no marriage, nor person is that perfect. I tend to agree.

Calendargirl

As the late queen said, “Recollections may vary”.

I think this applies at wedding anniversary celebrations and also sometimes (sadly) at funerals.

Oh yeah! Funerals, you sometimes can’t believe your ears when people say what a great guy he was and you know different.
Jewish joke: at a funeral someone who knew the deceased well is invited to say a few words, he stands up and is clearly struggling for words.At last he blurts out ‘his brother was worse!’😁

We were married for nearly 50 years and my husband died just before our Golden Wedding anniversary. We loved each other so very much and yes, we did have arguments mostly about him not doing a job which needed doing. He would always say, yes, I will do it in a minute but then never did so I found a way of getting jobs done when I wanted them doing, I would get out the hammer and nails and whatever else was needed to do the job and when he saw me marching through the room with the tools he would jump up and say, okay you win I will do it now.

I remember my husband saying, just before he died, that when he got to heaven he would tell St. Peter at the pearly gates, not to let me in when it was my turn to go to heaven and to send me in the opposite direction to where he was. I asked my husband why and he said because I would turn up with a list of jobs that needed doing.

We had the most fantastic marriage and after all these years alone, I still cry for what was.

At least BigBopper you got to have almost 50 years with him, and had a good marriage.

My OH and I rarely row (28 years of marriage) if I’m being truthful he is the more dominant of us and I tend to give in for a peaceful life. However, I am of the ‘knowing when to pick your fights’ mindset and if something is truly important to me I will stand my ground. Also, OH knows that when I do stand my ground he will back down as he realises how important the issue must be to me.

A row is not the same as a disagreement. We frequently disagree. but we do not row.

M0nica

A row is not the same as a disagreement. We frequently disagree. but we do not row.

Absolutely agree - it's healthy and completely normal to disagree over things, but it doesn't necessarily have to descent into a 'row'.

The problems arise when each of you know you are absolutely right.

No problem at all. I am right. What is there to argue over.

Love your joke, Oreo.
A slight aside - I was at a social event some time ago in which the couples present were discussing the collapse of a marriage of people known to us. The husband had left for another woman.
One of the women declared, loudly, that it was the fault of the wife, as men only strayed when they didn't get enough sex at home (!)
She went on to say that her husband would never be unfaithful, as she ensured that he was kept satisfied at home.
There was one second of awkward silence, which made me suspect that others knew what I did, that she was mistaken....

Calendargirl

As the late queen said, “Recollections may vary”.

I think this applies at wedding anniversary celebrations and also sometimes (sadly) at funerals.

And after.

I know a widow who now thinks her husband was quite wonderful. Few faults I think.
She started that shortly after he died.
She did not think so during their marriage! And everyone knew so.

I have no idea why she changed her ideas.

M0nica

No problem at all. I am right. What is there to argue over.

😂
Me too.
At least DH knows that now. He always puts my cup on the right if he makes tea or coffee because I am Mrs Always Right.

Maybe not cross words on both sides, my husband is more likely to sulk, I'm more likely to rant. We've been together more 53 years and I think I've mellowed over recent time but I still erupt from time to time - he knows this and is a bit of a wind-up merchant.

Possible, not probable.