There should be a word for it! Last in family

My sister died before I was born and I was brought up as an only child. My parents had no brothers and sisters either though my father had 2 half brothers I discovered and found I had some very nice cousins both in the UK and in Australia. My DH has a brother and sister which is nice and I enjoy 'sharing' them. We are lucky enough to have 2 grown up children and am delighted to have a lot of grandchildren, so hopefully all will continue satisfactorily when I've gone

kittylester

Not quite the same but I am the eldest with 2 younger brothers and know about things and people they have no idea about.

It's an odd feeling.

Yes I'm the same.

The eldest sibling and the only one with any recall of our mother being in hospital and away for some months. It had an effect on me but not them. I had one elderly aunt who I did talk to about that time. She could put dates and a timescale to events. She did help me make sense of things. Now she's gone too and I miss her terribly.

I'm the eldest now it does fell odd.

grandMattie I am so sorry that you still feel like a foreigner when you have lived here for 50 years.
Your in-laws must have been horrible people to tell your daughter that they wanted nothing more to do with your family.
I think you should record your memories somehow, including from where you were born.
Surely there is no need to hide them from your child/children. 💐

grandmattie - I feel desperately sad for you. I too came to this country about 50 years ago. I live in Wales and have always felt ‘at home’. You say ‘surviving children’, so I am presuming you have lost a child. No wonder you are so sad.

It's weird, isn't it, the different memories that family members have especially younger ones. My siblings see things so much differently from me.

Not sure that was English but hope you know what I mean.

You know I had to look that up in the hope that there was such a word but there isn't really. Sole kin or surviving kin or perhaps to turn the viewpoint around entirely and call yourself the deceased relative! However it sounds quite lonely put like that.
But now that I'm near the top of the tree so to speak along with siblings - it has encouraged me to look into Ancestry. I dip in every now and again and pay for a subscription when I know I'll sit for a while and look at newspaper cuttings and manifests as family were quite well travelled in their time. The winter days are great for this browsing but as @kittylester said other people have different takes on things.

kittylester

It's weird, isn't it, the different memories that family members have especially younger ones. My siblings see things so much differently from me.

I posted that in a hurry - I wasn't drunk, honest.

What I was trying to say was that my brothers have an entirely different perception of our parents. Added to which, my mother preferred her sons.

I have a lovely Aunt. She was married to my Mum's brother and they didn't get on. She is too discreet to dish the dirt.

The only person who knows my past is my sister and I dread anything happening to her.

henetha

It's strange for those of us who were adopted. My memories are
very mixed up.

Although divorced parents were alive for very many years, I was put in a children’s home at a very young age, later fostered and adopted. Both sets of parents have died.
As henetha says, very mixed up feelings.

I'm sure there are a lot of us who have no remaining kin and who feel bereft. Friendships and other social relationships are a partial solution but rarely a complete answer for everyone.