8 month granddaughter doesn’t like me

Please don’t be concerned. My eldest granddaughter would screw up her little face at me and glare, if I tried to hold her she would scream. I just carried on playing with her older brother and talking to her. She is still a quiet child but I get a hug when I visit and leave and we are fine.

My great granddaughter aged two cries when she sees me, I just leave her alone and she eventually comes to me. I don't get upset.

I have looked after three of my grandchildren one day a week, they have all been happy enough to be left, but the youngest one, now five, would hear my daughter come in, and would be shaking with excitement, I swear she would have crawled over hot coals to get to her, I always felt that anyone watching, must have thought she’d had a horrible day.

It's not you. Just keep on as you are but stop stressing.

Daddima I was just about to post the same thing. So much intensive 'together time could be a little overwhelming for her. Why not try getting on with a few jobs you need to do chatting with her as you go. She may feel less pressured.

I’m not saying this is the issue for you, but my son used to burst into tears the minute my mother arrived at our house and cried pretty much all the time she was with us. Mum was rightly upset and even more upset when we suggested it was her heavy perfume he didn’t like. She said she put extra on so he’d know it was his gran!

I used to stand my grandson on a stool to wave bye bye then as soon as her car disappeared I plonked him down at our organ. I let him batter away at it and he quickly forgot about Mummy.
When he was older and I asked him to bring the stool to me he said “The goodbye Mummy stool?”

Could the ‘playing and reading the whole time’ be the problem? Maybe a wee bit of ‘ watchful neglect’ could be an idea.

I second all the advice already given, and would like to suggest that if it is at all possible, you invite the child and her mother to your place at regular intervals, so she no longer associates you with being taken away from mummy. Or ask your daughter to invite you to their place, when she can be at home.

You are probably right that the child associates you with being taken away from her mother.

An 18 month old child will cry desparetly the minute the get in the door of the creche in an effort to get her parent to stay and settle down once the parent leaves. I suspect this i smuch the same thing.

I think she’s just missing her mummy, spend more time with her mum around .. not just baby sitting, do some fun things together…

Do you do FaceTime at all? I do this with my toddler grandchildren who don’t live near so don’t see me frequently. Maybe it would help in between your once weekly babysitting. Just a thought…

I was a Childminder and had an 18month old who would scream and cry every time she was left with me. It stopped after a few weeks but when OH came home the screaming started again. I used to put cute bows in her hair and take her in the buggy every day to a local shopping center where shoppers would often speak to her. This eased her fear of people and worked well. Never bought anything just wandered around to socialise her.
Perhaps your granddaughter would benefit from seeing lots of other adults

Yes it is generally because LO will associate you with being separated from mum but this is normal and happened with my child too (in my case it was more extreme and LO would have a meltdown at even hearing MIL's voice for months and months so I consulted a child psychologist about it. I wouldn't compare the fact LO is ok going to nursery with going to yours - nursery is full of every toy and activity imaginable and lots of children of the same age for interaction and social development (it's an exciting place to go). It will pass with time, it's nothing you're doing wrong.

My DD was exactly the same when I dropped her off at my MiL. She was fine the days her brother was there, but eventually she got used to the idea.

8 months in the thread title; 18 months in the OP.

It hardly matters.

There are inconsistencies in the OP too. The child "will not have anything to do with me", we are told, and then "she is ok when she has settled down" and the kind grandma "plays and reads to her the whole time".

Oops ... sorry I got the age wrong.
She will come round .... just give it time.

Don’t worry , she will be fine . She knows you so just give it time . Ignore the nasty posts too .

The child is actually 18 months old.

Child is 8 months old - smile, all well be well - give her time.

She's at a classic age for separation anxiety and you represent separation to her.

Don't take this to heart - she is just an 8 month old being an 8 month old. Just carry on being nice to her and she will adapt and come round.

She really is not old enough to be capable of deciding she dislikes you.

The first day I looked after my GD at a similar age she was sitting on my lap as her mum left - and there she sat for about 45 minutes or more getting her head round what was going on - she totally ignored me and wanted nothing to do with me. I just sat it out - good thing I did not need the loo! - and very gradually she ventured forth. We have to do things at their speed.

The idea of feeling guilty about this is crazy - just chill - she will be a happy bunny with you if you just bide your time.

I don't understand (nor like) the comments from people who think that Grannykd is "needy" or should already know what small children are like. Maybe hers went to their GPs happily so has expected the same from her GD. All kiddies are different. Or maybe she doesn't recall whether her own had difficulty adjusting to their GPs. Whatever, she has come to this thread cos she wants advice, and thankfully most posters have been reassuring and offered sensible suggestions.

Good luck Grannykd - and I agree with (most of) the other posters that this phase will pass. My own GD was a "problem" small child compared to her loving elder brother till Covid hit - and changed dramatically such that she became a most loving child and still is. Wait till she's a teenager!!!

Hithere

I wish grandparents would be updated on baby's and child's emotional and physical progress by age and milestones

Why does an adult expect a toddler to fulfill the adult's wants? Sigh

I agree. Some people are so needy. She’s a baby & behaving completely normally. As an adult, you just have to get on with it & not take it personally.

I ask this question nicely. Why is a grown woman who has brought up children of her own, worrying about the vagaries of behaviour of an 8 month old baby. She is the person in charge and presumably has years of experience with young children, so should surely dealing with this 'problem', if 'problem' there is, with a shrug of the shoulders and a hug and a kiss.

My grandson, once on his feet had no time for me, he had 2 grandma's, so the one who he saw less of (me) was merely a spare, if the other grandma was not around, but DH was his grandpa and the only one he had, and he would, when we arrived, swerve round me to get to his grandpa. This went on for over a year. I cannot say it troubled me much, and of course something happened, he changed his mind and I became someone he was delighted to see. He is 14 now and we get on like a house on fire.

Children are like that, come to that so are many adults.

do you perfume or loud soaps babies sometimes do not like smells and since they cannot voice what it is they just think "you"upset them

Chocolatelovinggran

I've just picked up my eighteen month old granddaughter from nursery.
As ever, I was greeted with a frown and a question- " Mamma?" " Dadda ?" Clearly I'm a poor substitute.
All perfectly normal, I'd say - keep smiling, keep playing- she'll come round.

My Gdd2 used to cry all the way home when I picked her up from pre school - because I wasn’t daddy! But she was the same with the other granny.
That stage is now behind us, thank goodness.