Abuse, silent treatment, threats

Take your passport and birth certificate my ex destroyed my birth certificate I left behind you don't have to be treated like this there are better people out there

so sorry to hear you're going through this, phone social service and tell them how you're being treated, then pack a bag and as much money as you can, nobody should have to put up with this , none of it is your fault,,I wish you luck x

So sorry to hear this Lynnie. You are in an abusive relationship and need to get away and make a new life away from your abusive controlling husband. It is not your fault, and you don’t need to feel ashamed as he is the perpetrator. It will be hard for you at first so if you have no friends or family or church community to turn to, please follow the advice of those who have been through this or know how to seek help in various practical ways. I send you all the positive energy I can to support you in this daunting new stage of your life.

Having no friends is no excuse for not finding one to listen to your woes. Try. then try, again.

Having "no family" is no excuse for not taking care of yourself.

Reminds me of Gisèle Pelicot. Don't trust someone who abuses like this. They are horrific. Duh!

Get away from him.

"( . . . ) What is a husband's responsibility towards his wife? To Love, protect, teach, support, and be a good moral and emotionally stable person. A good husband honors his wife and never does or says anything to show her disrespect. He supports her so she is free to grow in a safe and loving home."
-- Bae Macken

Based on this quote above, your life-long roommate has failed at his job and even though he was a Husband, he is no longer a Husband. He has failed. You have not. He is not a husband anymore. I suggest you call authorities and have him removed from YOUR home. If you can't do that, transfer all of your joint funds into your own separate account so that you can find a safe place to live (and sleep).

I know - easier said than done. Do it for yourself. Have some respect for yourself. Draw a line. Find support from anyone who has experience with partner abuse and then heed their advice. If you are being abused, you cannot make logical decisions on your own, in the early days of finding refuge. You need to lean on the strength of others to find your way out of this hell. It is sad when abuse becomes normal and comfortable. Listen to others: This is NOT normal.

You have brothers and sisters and family here on GN. You are not alone. Don't post abuse issues and then ignore all advice. Take the first step. Make a plan.

eazybee

Report this to a solicitor.
Report this to your doctor.
Not a good time of year to make contact, but I am sure people will give you contact numbers to use.
Make a written record of everything that has happened and keep in a secure place.
Then get out to a place of safety.

Do all of the above. Please, please seek help immediately. This is not normal, believe me. Pack a bag with essentials, draw money from your joint account and leave this evil person.

You have probably had a comfortable life, and it’s hard to contemplate a different life, but to be safe and happy is pure gold.
Get advice and support from the organisation mentioned.
You can do this.

Hi Lynnie, sending you love. It will be scarey but I agree with everyone else, you will feel so much better once you escape. You would probably have done it years ago if you had people around you to turn to, but there is help out there & the kindness of strangers is going to be so much better for you than this despicable treatment which must make life not worth living.

Lynnie my heart goes out to you.
So pleased to read that you are making plans to leave.
Sending you strength and a huge hug

What did you do in the 55plus years when he wasn't with you often. Presumably you had money to live and must be self sufficient managing on your own. You're entitled to half, go to a solicitor as you have been coercively controlled all your life, instigate a divorce, use your joint account and get what you can and get out.

OP you could take your ID to the bank and open a new account in your name only.
And then transfer half the funds from the joint account into your new account.
Legally you could transfer all of it.
But best to get your ducks in a row and be ready to flee or actually en route out.
Obviously do not divulge your intentions.
Take advice from women's aid and or police.

I can only agree with all the other comments here, Lynnie, please don't become a statistic.

It will be hard but you deserve a life without fear, abuse and disrespect; learn to love yourself and don't let this vile bully extinguish you.

Thanks MissA.
I worry that my brain is muddled as I felt I'd read that before.

Lynnie accidentally.ly posted it on another thread a couple of days ago.

As well as being immensely selfish this man is a brute who has got used to living his life through his cock. It's crude but 100% true.
The police take this sort of carry-on much more seriously than the days when it was "just a domestic".
You mustn't end up as a statistic in the tabloids.

I have read this before.
Did you post the exact same query a few days ago ?

Lynnie You are not the first person to post a story like yours. The last person to post such a story succeeded in leaving her abusive husband, so it can be done. Her circumstances were not that different to yours.

Lynnie, if you don't manage to, or can't pluck up courage to leave right now, still come back to this thread so we could help you to make a longer term plan, if that's what's needed.

Dear Lynnie just read your updated post. I'm so glad to hear that you are taking advice from GN posters'. Dig deep, find the strength and courage you need to to get out of this intolerable situation. None of this is your fault. You have been a victim of an abusive man. Take heart, make today the last day of living as a victim. Wishing you all the best for your journey into a new and better life.

Good luck Lynnie. Onwards and upwards!

Cheering you on from the sidelines here, too, Lynnie, and so pleased to see that you have taken the excellent advice given.
Your life will be so much better without this man.
Keep us updated and every good wish to you.

Dear God, I hope she has left.

Great support and advice here Lennie. Do it