Adult Daughter has caused us great upset.

Oopsadaisy1

Well all she can do is apologise profusely which she has done.

If you don’t want to lose her you have to grit your teeth and accept her apology.

She is an adult, we all make mistakes.

What’s the saying?

I live a good life and none mentions it, I make one mistake and I never hear the last of it.

You have to put it behind you, put a smile on your face and realise that she is still your kind and lovely daughter who has slipped up.

Lovely comment, and I agree 100%

All good wishes now for your future relationship.

Hoping it really is all over.

Thank you all so very much!

Had I not posted here yesterday, I would probably still be in the same awful, sad situation for some time to come.

What a great online community of wise grans (& grandads!) you all are!

Thank you!

So nice to hear of a happy ending.

So glad this has had a positive outcome. Common sense prevails on Gransnet!

theworriedwell

If my kids do something wrong my mantra is "nobody died" not sure what I'll say if someone has died. If no one died it won't affect our relationship that's for sure.

👏👏👏

Glad you’ve made it up with your daughter, just put it all behind, life is too short and family is too precious

It’s so hard to comment as we don’t know anything about her “huge lack of good judgement” or who was directly impacted or if she’s managed to put things right!

Anyhow, please move on, we all huge mistakes in our lives and she’s apologised.

What more can she do ?

If my kids do something wrong my mantra is "nobody died" not sure what I'll say if someone has died. If no one died it won't affect our relationship that's for sure.

Thanks, everyone! We've spoken with our DD at great length and we've ironed out a few things, and drawn a line under the whole sorry episode. All very upsetting, but she knows we love her very much, unconditionally, and we have forgiven her. It'll take a while to forget, but we'll get there.

She didn't do anything criminal, and it wasn't anything to do with money. It was something which directly hurt my DH and I, and she knows that she made a bad judgement and regrets it bitterly. It was a one off. And we'll all get over it.

Thanks to many of you who made me realise that some things in life are more important than others.

I can't understand what terrible thing she could have done to make you feel so angry and embarrassed about her.

Given that you say in all other respects she has been a perfect, loving daughter I think you must try to get over your disappointment. I think many people would settle for having a daughter that loves and cares for them.

I'm so pleased that you'll be talking to your D Nansnet .

Been there, at a party one of my daughters said the wrong thing and really upset my wife, too much wine. I told daughter to apologize which she did and they were always OK afterwards.

The OPs daughter has apologized accept it and move on

Why, what has she done? Or can’t you say?

Nansnet

Aww, you guys! You've all got me in tears now again! But thank you for making me see sense! I'm going to speak with her this morning. Wish me luck!

🌺🙏🏾

Can you try and mentally put yourself in the position of a "stranger in the street"? ie what would the average well-meaning "stranger in the street" make of whatever-it-is your daughter has done?

I guess it depends, to some extent, whether it's something the "average stranger" would condemn (eg killing someone, stealing something, etc) or a matter of different moral views on things (eg making some money in an "interesting" way that a lot of people wouldnt approve of/but a lot of other people wouldnt be bothered about it - eg the type of job a nun wouldnt approve of iyswim).

It doesn't sound, from what you say, like it's something that would come in the first category (eg murder/theft/etc) - so I'm guessing it's something that comes in the second category (eg earning money in a way that some wouldnt approve of - but there's nothing intrinsically wrong with it). If it's a "second category" thing of some description - then take the view "We all make mistakes and/or get desperate for money or something" and move on from it....

No-one on Earth is perfect - with the possible exception of one man about 2,000 years ago. The rest of us make mistakes or "desperate decisions" somewhere or other along the line...

We all make mistakes.. it's what life is about really and it's how we grow.. be glad she's able to see this..

Thank you for your response, Nansnet and I am glad that you are feeling better.
I would contact your daughter sooner rather than later, and as someone said, unconditional love; hate the sin, love the sinner.(bit extreme, sure it isn't that bad!).

Good luck!
💕

Aww, you guys! You've all got me in tears now again! But thank you for making me see sense! I'm going to speak with her this morning. Wish me luck!

Your daughter has had the grace and courage to accept that she made a bad decision and has apologised.

It may be difficult to totally set this whole issue/episode aside but speak to your husband as well as your daughter and accept the olive branch from her - and her sincere apology.

Thinking of you.

Absolutely agree MOnica couldn't have put it any better.

Look, she is a normal human being and like all ordinary human being, she is not perfect and now and again she makes bad judgements, just as you do and on rare occasions, she can make a really disastrous decision. Just because you have never made that truly disatrous decision yourself, does not mean it may not happen in the future.

Unlike many people, who after making a truly dreadful decision get defensive about it, have rows with people and breakup families. Your daughter has had the grace and courage to accept that she made a bad decision and has apologised.

You should be on your knees thanking God that your daughter has this wonderous ability when she does something disastrously wrong to admit it and apologise. Have a look at the Estrangement heading and see how often families are broken up by situations like this. Yours hasn't.

Far from not trusting her at present, you have even more reason to trust her, because if she goes wrong she can admit it.
Anyone can make a really bad judgment now and again, but to apologise for it, wow, that is really something.

So, set the bad decision aside as one of those things that all of us could do, just remember how quickly apologised and get things back to normal, by realising just how exceptional good your daughter' behaviour has been in these circumstances, she is truly one in one thousand, hold her tight.

@Nansnet so glad you got it off your chest and now can see things differently.
Wishing you all the best 🌺

I'm wondering about the lovely home and the lovely partner and the heart of gold.
Humans can be complicated things that frequently make mistakes.

Just a thought, and best wishes to you and your family.