Am I going mad or just turning nasty

KGee

Same here. My husband is very untidy and when I ask him to put his things away, he tells me to calm down. Needless to say this has the opposite effect!

Dh telling me to ‘calm down’ makes me feel positively murderous, so it’s just as well he so rarely does it!

Before my husband got hearing aids he couldn't here what I was saying. Now I have to be really careful. I do love him but he drives me mad at times.

Luckygirl3

Be thankful. My late OH was so tidy he once tidied away all the items I had put out for making a cake while I had just nipped to the toilet!

😁

Mine does that kind of thing - tidies my stuff but not his own!

Luckygirl3

Be thankful. My late OH was so tidy he once tidied away all the items I had put out for making a cake while I had just nipped to the toilet!

😂😂😂😂😂

FriedGreenTomatoes2

Goodness there are some short fuses on here! Please ladies try not to sweat the small stuff. In the big sea, it’s inconsequential, trust me. Sadly when you get given bigger fish to fry you do get a reality check. 😢

That said, it’s mid winter. We’ve all been cooped up so perhaps things niggle more. Spring and outdoor pursuits will help.

Oh yes, bring on Spring

I don’t do it now, but did occasionally when we were both working f/t and there was so much to do on a tight schedule at home with children and work commitments.
Now I’m retired and he works p/t we’re more flexible.

We can't all be grateful every minute of every day. I think it's pretty hard to be on an even keel some days with all that life throws our way.

May I ask do you love your husband unconditionally? If so and you have been together for over 40 years you aren't going to change his ways now. Just be grateful you still have him.

Perfect thread for me thank you folk, I do a lot of all of it and currently having to think twice and appreciate for fear of what could be in the offing! So much resonated.

I think it's OK and perfectly normal to feel some irritation.
It depends what you've got in the mix.

If you have sufficient funds for holidays, days out, spontaneous activities it must oil the wheels to some extent. If you are confined to 4 walls in winter in Britain, it can throw up some challenges!
Perhaps ( huge generalisation) women are more inclined to look outwards for activities and socialising than men.
My partner put little effort into life post retirement and it's not always easy.

I am guilty of thinking of thinking FFS shut up/ stop fussing/ moaning etc and muttering oh FOFF at certain individuals.
I live alone, these thoughts are to members of several groups I go to,I just smile through gritted teeth, they probably think the same about me😂

Be thankful. My late OH was so tidy he once tidied away all the items I had put out for making a cake while I had just nipped to the toilet!

FriedGreenTomatoes2

Goodness there are some short fuses on here! Please ladies try not to sweat the small stuff. In the big sea, it’s inconsequential, trust me. Sadly when you get given bigger fish to fry you do get a reality check. 😢

That said, it’s mid winter. We’ve all been cooped up so perhaps things niggle more. Spring and outdoor pursuits will help.

In the spring they'll go mad with the secateurs and prune everything in sight!

When you think about it, you have a life and children to bring up, a job, friends, colleagues and plenty of energy to do things, then you reach a point when you both retire.Nice at first am sure, but after some years you’re not doing so much or seeing as many people and it’s the two of you together most days without all the distractions there used to be to ‘dilute’ the DH or DP and his behaviour.Add to that many men turn grumpy when older and can be more difficult or anxious or demanding and you can easily see why some women either explode at their men or keep it in their head.
We are still working and have very close family but am already mentally gritting my teeth.😖

Oh good! I’ve been feeling very guilty about what I call himself (in my head) on a daily basis…..

It all sounds perfectly normal and indeed healthy to me!

Marydoll 😂😂😂

This sounds fairly normal to me.
DH died 4 years ago and I miss him very much but ofcourse there were times when he drove me to distraction! He was more patient than me but also extremely untidy creative mind.
I am also untidy but less tolerant so was always the one who had to clear up.
Keep some separate hobbies and have some separate friends is my advice.

How nice to hear I’m not the only one whose Dh drives them 🤯. We are complete opposites , and after nearly 54 years married plus 5 years before that, I think we’re doing ‘ok’.

I think the answer is to have regular breaks from each other, whether it’s a walk , a hobby or even a weekend away.

Usedtobeblonde

I thought the gist of the thread was pointing to the being nasty bit.
I don’t have a husband but I do have irritating people in my life including friends.
When I am really annoyed/ fed up with them, while smiling and nodding ,I am saying words in my head that would never ever cross my lips and which have only come into my mental vocabulary recently.
If ever I forgot and said them out loud I don’t know who would be more shocked, them or me.
Am I alone in this?

No because I say them out loud. 😂

Oh Marydoll that made me laugh. I’m as bad as the rest of you. The language inside my head! But why open a drawer and then butter a piece of bread just above it? It’s no good saying that they’re easy closing drawers, just means they don’t slam. 57 years and counting .

Apparently this is a very common issue called 'retired husband syndrome'

😂😂😂

It's so hard to adjust to being together a lot more once you're retired. I have to bite my tongue too about things I hardly even noticed before we were together virtually 24/7. Every time he gets up out of his armchair, his hanky falls out of his pocket. Not a major disaster and he always picks it up again, but I want to shout, "For crying out loud push it in properly, then it won't keep ** falling out!" (I don't really swear at him but the temptation towards injecting a bit of colour into the sentence is almost irresistible sometimes.)

On a lighter note: DH was trying to fit a camera at our back door and was having all sorts of issues. I offered some advice, since IT was my forte. He refused, because he knew what he was doing.
This saga went on for ages, until he eventually asked for help. Unknown to me, the camera had been recording the whole time, that I had been muttering and swearing under my breath!

I thought the gist of the thread was pointing to the being nasty bit.
I don’t have a husband but I do have irritating people in my life including friends.
When I am really annoyed/ fed up with them, while smiling and nodding ,I am saying words in my head that would never ever cross my lips and which have only come into my mental vocabulary recently.
If ever I forgot and said them out loud I don’t know who would be more shocked, them or me.
Am I alone in this?