Am I going mad or just turning nasty

I am afraid I have and I am ashamed of myself.

Yes I can be the same, not all the time, but men can test your limits. I also feel bad about it after, but it doesn't do any good to bottle it up either.

To clarify, he can be supportive in many other ways, which is why I feel bad.

Ill health means I struggle to do things. I came back from the shops to find that the whole house had been vacuumed, the washing done and the glasswork cleaned.
However, that did not mitigate the fact that he had left the dishwasher door open and, of course, I fell over it!

I lose it with my DH sometimes, and do have some rather choice words in my head that thankfully don’t get said out loud.
But am sure I irritate the hell out of him as well.
Am off to London for 2 days end of this week to spend time with the GCs, he can’t make it this time and I hate to say am rather relieved. I do love him to bits but after 46 years we can get a bit bored with each other.
😆

You are not alone Elbelle, I do this as well.
I caught myself the other day muttering ‘how f****ing hard is it to put a cup in the dishwasher’ and I was boilingly furious, out of all proportion to what had happened.

I can hear myself snapping at him, and I don’t like my behaviour. The little quirks and habits that I thought endearing 40+ years ago are now REALLY irritating.
I wonder if I wind him up the same way? I hope not and I’m not going to ask!

I continually pray for more patience.

I've recently noticed that my filter has gone......almost entirely....!

I'm concerned that if I end up in a care home I'll be thrown out for bad language

Same here. My husband is very untidy and when I ask him to put his things away, he tells me to calm down. Needless to say this has the opposite effect!

I know I irritate my DH aswell, we've been married 39 years and together for 46, childhood sweethearts. I've got more patience with the GC.

I'm the untidy one in our house but fortunately my husband has the patience of a saint

I don't think you're going mad or being nasty!

As you say, you're both retired now and no matter how busy you are with activities and family you'll be together far more and things that used to mildly bother you are just being magnified.

I think it's quite normal and I'd not worry too much. Just mutter away internally as and when you feel like it.

eddiecat78

I'm concerned that if I end up in a care home I'll be thrown out for bad language

You'd fit right in.

Me too I guess that once he retired he would not have the excuse he was too busy to clear up behind himself But not a chance.
Also bending down to pick things up and put away becomes more tiring The floor seems further away
All this coupled with where is the so and so
So glad I am not alone

Am afraid DH has a highly irritating habit of helping by taking the bin bag out of the bin and in waste bins in other parts of the house then not putting a new one in. So I go to drop rubbish in a bin with no bin bag.
Also he puts empty containers back in the fridge.
Grrrr 😖

Same here, then I remind myself of all my irritating ways which must drive him up the wall. He is far more tolerant than I am. I live in fear of voicing the words in my head sometimes

It's the type where he never shuts a door or drawer after himself
is my DH a bigamist?

Slamming said drawer or door is quite satisfying whilst muttering swear words under your breath.

The odd thing is his cupboards, drawers, wardrobes are very tidy, although there is a pile of rubbish stuff by his chair.

leeds22

I'm the untidy one in our house but fortunately my husband has the patience of a saint

I'm sure my DH would be endlessly patient about my bad habits too - if I had any!

😁

I do, and try not to feel bad about it as after 49 years I believe he does the same.

He is also annoying in that he questions everything I do as well as being a bit bossy, although I can be bossy too I am told. Just now, it's the bad tempered face, swearing and the negativity, gloom and doom that I dislike, and he is getting me down worrying about age and health all the time (all of this builds up and causes the bad-mouthing in my head!).

Every now and again this happens, and I tell him and he stops the negativity for a while.

I feel I am justified in my private criticism, as I can let off steam with my little head-rant, without causing a confrontation which he hates.

Like the OP we have a pretty good relationship on the whole and he is very supportive if I have problems (as I am with him).

I reckon most 'long-termers' do this to survive! Please don't beat yourself up!

I’m the same! It’s normal (I keep telling myself)

Thanks everyone. Reassuring to know I'm not alone. The humour in the replies really cheered me up too!

Elbelle

I find myself at times getting really irritated with my husband's untidiness. It's the type where he never shuts a door or drawer after himself . Things never put away etc. He has always been the same but I guess now we're both retired it irks me more.
But it's my reaction to him at times that I am worried about. Under my breath or in my head I become really foul mouthed, swearing and calling him all the nasty names under the sun. I can't blame pmt or menopause at 73!
I know I am also frustrated by his behaviour. It is as if he is thinking himself old and behaving as such unnecessarily which adds to my irritability. I sometimes feel I am spitting venom! He has many positives btw which have kept us together for 45 years. And when i mention how difficult his untidiness is things improve for a while. But it's the anger and really foul language going on in my head or out of his earshot that is concerning. Am I getting nastier or going mad or both!!? Has anyone else experienced this?

Welcome to my world.

I don’t think you are going mad!
Since I retired my mostly lovely husband has become irritated by me. I think we got along fine when we had breaks from each. I’m the untidy one ( although it’s more a different kind of tidy- he tends to whip away things I am still using or have just assembled to use like hangers for the washing) ) but it’s the treating me as stupid I find difficult to cope with. I’m just not good enough at mind reading! I think the solution is to have some separate activities.

Well, I have just gone into the kitchen and for the second time today, the dishwasher is lying wide open, AGAIN!
The Scarlet Pimpernel is nowhere to be seen! Grrrr.