Am I going mad or just turning nasty

It all sounds perfectly normal to me!

RosieandherMaw

Marydoll

I thought this thread was meant to be lighthearted. Certainly no intention of upsetting those, who have lost loved ones.

BTW. I don't think a massive bruise on one's leg, after walking into an open dishwasher door, especially, when on blood thinners is sweating the small stuff. It was blooming painful!

I'm sorry- I wasn't aware this was one of the incidents OP was complaining about and my comment was addressed to her.

I was referring to myself, Maw, as mentioned earlier in the thread. These irritations may seem small, but they can have serious consequences.
My DH remains blissfully ignorant, I fume quietly because it isn't worth falling out over and anyway it falls on deaf ears .

Apologies ladies.
I didn’t mean to bring a light hearted thread down. Not my intention at all.
That said, I’m very (extremely) laid back. We’ve been married 50 years and little irritations have never bothered me. I suppose it’s down to our own personalities as much as anything.

I know what you mean FGT2 but sometimes it's the small stuff that might just tip you over the edge.

I've just had a bit of a tantrum (but quietly, to myself!).

Marydoll

I thought this thread was meant to be lighthearted. Certainly no intention of upsetting those, who have lost loved ones.

BTW. I don't think a massive bruise on one's leg, after walking into an open dishwasher door, especially, when on blood thinners is sweating the small stuff. It was blooming painful!

I'm sorry- I wasn't aware this was one of the incidents OP was complaining about and my comment was addressed to her.

I thought this thread was meant to be lighthearted. Certainly no intention of upsetting those, who have lost loved ones.

BTW. I don't think a massive bruise on one's leg, after walking into an open dishwasher door, especially, when on blood thinners is sweating the small stuff. It was blooming painful!

But, carrying a pile of laundry, plates of food, etc, it's not always easy to see if a drawer has been left open until you walk into it!

I used to think my late husband Paw was very untidy whereas I merely make the house look homely.
On my own now I have nobody else to blame -apart from the dog- when somehow it is not always immaculate (as if) , so as FGT2 says don't sweat the small stuff.
Nobody's perfect.

I'm the same. My husband leaves drawers and cupboards open, which annoys me. He never puts a new toilet roll on the holder, he leaves a knife out whenever he's buttered bread or toast. There are various things I do that must irritate him, too. We're at home together all the time (both mid-60s, married 44 years).

We do have a swear at each other - it's only words and is soon forgotten about.

I will politely remind by dh to put away or pick up something he has used. The response is that he forgot but its all the time I get irritated and frustrated and end up shouting.
Then I feel guilty because I have gone over the top. My dh is not lazy but forgetful and he now considers I am a nagging wife!

Goodness there are some short fuses on here! Please ladies try not to sweat the small stuff. In the big sea, it’s inconsequential, trust me. Sadly when you get given bigger fish to fry you do get a reality check. 😢

That said, it’s mid winter. We’ve all been cooped up so perhaps things niggle more. Spring and outdoor pursuits will help.

KGee

Same here. My husband is very untidy and when I ask him to put his things away, he tells me to calm down. Needless to say this has the opposite effect!

Apparently telling your wife to calm down is the quickest way to turn a sofa into a bed.

Last time I was at my friends house she was going on about something and her husband who was sat out of her sight but still in mine was pulling faces in her direction.

This is so so common. I have these issues with my OH, he is infuriating. He tuts at most things i suggest, doesn't like going out for a nice drive, thinks I do too much socialising, which I do not. I see my neighbour (good friend), a few times a week, but half an hour or so, I go out with my sister once a month, and that is it!! But since we are at home together all the time, I cannot bear the constant gripes and moans about everything. I try to avoid putting the news on, because he has to comment on all the ills of the world, and what he would do to correct them-usually something illegal or violent.
He has become so intolerant of everything, even his own adult children. But he has many good points, is a hard worker, helps me keep the house tidy and in order.
My daughter is a phycotherapist, and she tells me this is one of the most common problems that older women with husbands under their feet, that she sees. She suggests carrying on with doing what pleases you, you cannot be totally responsible for making them feel better about stuff, so do your own thing, he will get over it. If he doesn't, it is his problem, do not beat yourself up about his moods and attitudes, and sweetly do your own thing.

Op my dh is the same , leaves cupboard doors and drawers open . Always has and I have no idea why . He’s messy and I’m tidy but we’ve been married 36 years this year .
I also do the sweary rant in my head . I think you’re normal and not mad or bad .

I know what you mean! My DH can be irritating, too, much as I love him.

Without being sexist, perhaps we should remember that men and women see things differently, think differently and have different priorities.

Moreover, despite spending most of our lives with a partner, we are still two individual people. We may grow together in many ways but we're still people in our own right.

Mine says I don't irritate him, but I'm pretty sure that I must do!

I've been irritated too, by nearest and dearest, for different reasons in each case. I think most of us have. I hope as I read through the Grans' replies there will be some help and advice available.

Well, I have just gone into the kitchen and for the second time today, the dishwasher is lying wide open, AGAIN!
The Scarlet Pimpernel is nowhere to be seen! Grrrr.

I don’t think you are going mad!
Since I retired my mostly lovely husband has become irritated by me. I think we got along fine when we had breaks from each. I’m the untidy one ( although it’s more a different kind of tidy- he tends to whip away things I am still using or have just assembled to use like hangers for the washing) ) but it’s the treating me as stupid I find difficult to cope with. I’m just not good enough at mind reading! I think the solution is to have some separate activities.

Elbelle

I find myself at times getting really irritated with my husband's untidiness. It's the type where he never shuts a door or drawer after himself . Things never put away etc. He has always been the same but I guess now we're both retired it irks me more.
But it's my reaction to him at times that I am worried about. Under my breath or in my head I become really foul mouthed, swearing and calling him all the nasty names under the sun. I can't blame pmt or menopause at 73!
I know I am also frustrated by his behaviour. It is as if he is thinking himself old and behaving as such unnecessarily which adds to my irritability. I sometimes feel I am spitting venom! He has many positives btw which have kept us together for 45 years. And when i mention how difficult his untidiness is things improve for a while. But it's the anger and really foul language going on in my head or out of his earshot that is concerning. Am I getting nastier or going mad or both!!? Has anyone else experienced this?

Welcome to my world.

Thanks everyone. Reassuring to know I'm not alone. The humour in the replies really cheered me up too!

I’m the same! It’s normal (I keep telling myself)

I do, and try not to feel bad about it as after 49 years I believe he does the same.

He is also annoying in that he questions everything I do as well as being a bit bossy, although I can be bossy too I am told. Just now, it's the bad tempered face, swearing and the negativity, gloom and doom that I dislike, and he is getting me down worrying about age and health all the time (all of this builds up and causes the bad-mouthing in my head!).

Every now and again this happens, and I tell him and he stops the negativity for a while.

I feel I am justified in my private criticism, as I can let off steam with my little head-rant, without causing a confrontation which he hates.

Like the OP we have a pretty good relationship on the whole and he is very supportive if I have problems (as I am with him).

I reckon most 'long-termers' do this to survive! Please don't beat yourself up!

leeds22

I'm the untidy one in our house but fortunately my husband has the patience of a saint

I'm sure my DH would be endlessly patient about my bad habits too - if I had any!

😁

It's the type where he never shuts a door or drawer after himself
is my DH a bigamist?

Slamming said drawer or door is quite satisfying whilst muttering swear words under your breath.

The odd thing is his cupboards, drawers, wardrobes are very tidy, although there is a pile of rubbish stuff by his chair.

Same here, then I remind myself of all my irritating ways which must drive him up the wall. He is far more tolerant than I am. I live in fear of voicing the words in my head sometimes