Am I going mad or just turning nasty

I can echo many of the sentiments here. Now, after 57 years, I have confined him, for the most part, to his own bedroom and library room. I am now decluttering the rest of the house ready for the final departure of both of us. The kids can deal with the rest.

As I said I think it's perfectly reasonable to have a little virtual moan about such matters.
It must be very sad when a partner dies but thing are not always easy or simple.
Older age, low level depression, the climate, finances, poor health and so on play a part ofr some.

I hesitate to post here but my DH does ALL of these annoying things and more. I think he always has, but 53 years ago I was only 20 and could do it all myself but now I am really struggling to maintain a 5-bed 14-room house (plus bathrooms, garage and garden sheds) which are all a mess.

I have tripped over his stuff, banged my head on open cupboard doors, and now on blood thinners. We bought a Eufy for the kitchen floor but can't use it for all the stuff on the floor at his side of the table. We have separate bedrooms and his bed, worktops, sills and floor are covered in stuff. I don't recall his being vacuumed in 20 years. I insist on washing/changing his bed every 3 months max - it is all vile to me. But it doesn't bother him one jot.

It isn't as if we don't have plenty of cupboards and drawers for it all, he just doesn't see any of it. In fact the only thing we really share is the main meal. He thinks putting a frozen pizza in the oven is called "cooking".

My husband is a bit deaf so I mumble in increasingly unladylike language that he can't hear - I hope!

I don't think that you are going mad .
I really believe that we just get fed up waiting on people hand and foot.
These days ,I have something else to do !

dalrymple23

Miss A: I have one of those too. My forsythia was decimated - of course, at this time of year, it just looks like a dead twig! He is as bad with the pliers. A couple of weeks ago, he was removing old BT telephone cable and cut through the television aerial. "Well, it was a wire"!!!

As for turning off a flipping tap ...........................!

One of my exes changed a light bulb for me and fused all my lights.

Then he tried to put it right and fused everyone else's lights in the block.

I had an absolutely divine client who was in her eighties. I shall never forget her telling me, "All men are the same - they just come in different packages"! How true.

Miss A: I have one of those too. My forsythia was decimated - of course, at this time of year, it just looks like a dead twig! He is as bad with the pliers. A couple of weeks ago, he was removing old BT telephone cable and cut through the television aerial. "Well, it was a wire"!!!

As for turning off a flipping tap ...........................!

I think this is related to winter too

For Babs, by the way.

I have one of those! Drives me to insanity.

I could have written this post. Untidy, disorganised, always losing things. I sometimes wonder if he has ADHD, which could explain some of it.

That was meant to be taking their wives for granted.

Maybe men do get more irritating as they get older, complacent? Taking their eves for granted? Or perhaps our fuses become shorter - or a bit of both.
I think the one genuine worry might be the intensity of OP’s reaction- even thinking what she describes as “foul mouthed” or “spitting venom” when perhaps 40 years ago they might both have laughed it off.

I wish my Husband was still around to irritate me ! Being a widow puts things into perspective.

My husband is untidy,too. I don’t bother about it much except when he leaves garden tools around and doesn’t drop the coffee pod down after we have had coffee ( it gets stuck in the chute if you leave it) . Small things in the scheme of things and we have been married 57 years so I should be used to it.

Was there anything in the past that wasn’t resolved and you feel resentful for? May be it’s not the untidiness that is really getting to you. You sound stressed and under pressure, if you get to the bottom of that you may tolerate his untidiness better.

Or you could muffle the obscenities in the fluffy tummy of a fat ginger moggy.

Or a mynah bird😄

escaped

I think what is needed is a dog. He can cope nonjudgmentally with the outfall you need to blurt out, and he won't be offended by the bad language!

But don't buy a parrot.
Or budgerigar!

I think one needs to analyse exactly why your partner acts like he does.

Some people are just lazy slobs, dirty washing on the floor, expecting people to look after them, cannot see why they should change

Others it seems to be some ingrained instinct in them. Even DH's mother used to say of him 'born in a barn, if I didn't know better'. He quite simply never puts anything away, no door, drawer or cupboard shut. Things carefully left on the worktop above or below the cupboard they should be in - and this is the difference, he doesn't leave clothes or towels on the floor, or anything a mess for me to clear up, he just seems to be incapable of opening a cupboard and putting anything in i and/or shutting it properly afterwards

He gets DIY materials out to do a job, and when he has finished. leaves his tools on the kitchen table in a neat and tidy pile. I am sure it is something programmed in.

I think what is needed is a dog. He can cope nonjudgmentally with the outfall you need to blurt out, and he won't be offended by the bad language!

But has your partner started to inexplicably cover surfaces with patterned sticky backed plastic?: kitchen and bathroom tiles, fireplace surround, the top of a, once lovely dresser, also large childish transfers of animals on the lids of our loos.
A lot of inward cussing of late.

fluttERBY123

Dh does not do "close". It's either slam or leave open. He seems to think empty packages or envelopes throw themselves away.

Was your DH in my utility room?

Light on, tumble dryer door open and no sign of the Scarlet Pimpernel. Harrumph!

Dh does not do "close". It's either slam or leave open. He seems to think empty packages or envelopes throw themselves away.