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Suffering

(72 Posts)
Macadia Sun 16-Feb-25 10:37:52

Hello my dear ladies and gents. I have not been on for some time. Because ive been in hospital. Forgive me if i make typos. I cant see so well. You might remember me as Macadia. I take care of dogs for a living. I have enjoyed your company and chatter and remedies and recipes. Im in bad sorts. My loving husband in a fit of dementia strangled me and i have been through two brain surgeries for aneurysms and a brain bleed. I am moving him to a home. Away from me. I am very happy. Happy to be alive. Though i dont know how much longer i have - maybe a year they say. I am just posting this to say hello. I dont need any pity. Live each day as if it is your last gift. Love you all. - Macadia.

keepingquiet Thu 08-May-25 08:58:15

I'm sorry to read this Macadia. I think you are wise not to have DH home anymore- it is obviously distressing for both of you for different reasons.

It sounds as if you need some support and I hope there is someone you can turn to to express your obvious sadness and the loss of your relationship with your husband.

Meanwhile it is good you came back to let us know how you are and you will get support and sympathy here.

I really do hope things start to improve for you but please try to make use of the other people around you as well.

Macadia Thu 08-May-25 08:54:35

Yes I miss you

Macadia Thu 08-May-25 08:54:23

Bump

Macadia Thu 08-May-25 08:53:21

Hello everyone, I am writing again just to get my note pumped up to the top of the pile. Have any of you ever had to deal with a loved on who has gone bonkers, not ..... I don't even know how to describe or say it. I love my husband but suddenly, he is not....I don't know how to say it again. I am so distraught. I need therapy, perhaps. I am happy that he is in a place that takes care of him. That is a good thing.

Now I have to figure out how to take care of ME.

Love you all, bunches of love. Thank you for being here.

Macadia Thu 08-May-25 08:46:23

Hello my ladies. And gents. Hello Astitchintime I am recovering. I just thought I'd sprout a note to tell you what's been going on. My husband is in a care home and is very happy there (but confused too). I am due for one more brain surgery, - Jun 27 - which I just want to cancel. I am tired a lot but my doctors say now I can lift things larger thatn 10 pounds so I am going full on.

I have had my DH stay with me on a few occasions but the last stay, he woke me up saying, "Do they feed you here?"

I asked him, "Who are they".

He said that it's always they. He said they feed him but they don't feed me and they have put us into a bunker to monitor us and keep us away from the military and the ports which are subject to attacks.

I don't think I should have him back for a visit anymore.

I miss him so much. I am trying to figure out what to do with my life. I love him so much but he is no longer in our reality. I don't know why he talks like this. It's all so confusing to me.

JenniferEccles Fri 07-Mar-25 14:33:34

What a terrible ordeal you have been through Macadia but as others have said you sound strong, considering what a terrible ordeal you’ve been through.

I would just like to say I hope you have someone with you to look after you when you leave hospital, and you certainly should have somebody there when your husband is transferred to the care home.
Is he accepting of what is happening?
Of course it was the dreadful dementia which caused him to attack you so violently but you must guard against anything like that happening again.

I wish you well.

pably15 Wed 05-Mar-25 10:17:53

how terrible for you , you've been through hell, I'm sorry for what you.ve come through and hope now that you're home you'r health will keep improving every day, and that you have some good friends around you, If you had a loving husband before this happened ,you know it wasn't him, it was the dementia. It's such a terrible illness, good luck to you and take care.xx

mum2three Wed 05-Mar-25 10:03:55

I'm so sorry to hear of your experiences. I hope others will take this as a warning of what can happen if the signs of dementia are ignored.
I hope you get through this and spend the rest of your life at peace.

Greenfinch Wed 05-Mar-25 09:59:11

How are you now Macadia? I frequently think of you. Please keep us updated.🌷

Allira Tue 18-Feb-25 11:07:44

I'm sorry to hear about your latest news, Macadia and hope you can recover.
Your poor husband would not have known what he was doing so I hope your DC can forgive him. It was not him, it was the dementia which did that.

You can try to recover in peace knowing he will be looked after in the nursing home and I hope you have some help and support too.

flowers

JaneJudge Tue 18-Feb-25 10:52:41

Macadia, I'm sorry to hear of your and your husbands health difficulties. I hope you can stay with him soon too but concentrate on that he is moving to somewhere safe

Scribbles Tue 18-Feb-25 10:48:16

Macadia, I am awed by your courage and your compassion and can only add to all the good wishes for your future.

creakingandchronic Tue 18-Feb-25 09:51:50

You are a strong lady and have to do what you have to do
I send you blessing love and healing

luluaugust Tue 18-Feb-25 08:26:30

Macadia welcome back flowers

Macadia Tue 18-Feb-25 08:13:46

Thank you everyone for your kind wishes. I am very tired but not so good at sleeping. To do the brain surgery, they access an artery in your leg and run a wire through your leg, your body, neck, then into your brain while watching imaging machines of where they're going. It just boggles my mind to think of the technology that keeps me alive.

I get stitches out (of my leg) soon and then off to help my DH move to his new home which I will try to do with a smile and not a tear. I can only hope the doctors can help him too so that someday I might be able to stay with him. Right now, my doctors have given a definite, no. We cant predict his behavior and neither can he. Life is like that, isn't it? We can never see 'round the bends.

Astitchintime Sun 16-Feb-25 20:30:35

Welcome back Macadia flowers.
What a strong, resilient, and inspiring human being you are. Do drop by regularly to let us all know how you are. xx

V3ra Sun 16-Feb-25 20:21:44

What a terrible consequence of dementia for both you and your husband.

He'll be well looked after in his new home and you will be able to sleep safely in your own bed.

Welcome back to Gransnet. You are among friends here dear lady.
God bless you both 🙏

welbeck Sun 16-Feb-25 19:50:40

Keep a stout heart.

Desdemona Sun 16-Feb-25 18:55:36

You are an amazing and wonderful person and I wish all the best things for you xx

shoppinggirl Sun 16-Feb-25 14:58:35

Welcome back Macadia. You're one positive person! flowers flowers

Ziplok Sun 16-Feb-25 14:35:50

I, too, welcome you back Macadia and wish you well. You are being very strong and I hope your strength sustains you through all the difficult times. 💐

Cossy Sun 16-Feb-25 14:24:40

As with everyone else, I welcome you back and wish you all the best.

Xx flowers

rafichagran Sun 16-Feb-25 14:18:03

You have a lovely positive attitude to life. I could learn from you, especially your compassion for your husband.

I wish you and your children well and I am sure they will see your husband could not help it. He has a cruel illness

HousePlantQueen Sun 16-Feb-25 14:04:40

Welcome back Macadia, so sorry to hear of the reason for your absence, and so sorry to hear what this horrific disease has done to your poor husband.

We look forward to your contribution to lost of discussions and topics, and remember that whatever the hour of day or night, there is always someone awake on GN for a chat!

Parsley3 Sun 16-Feb-25 14:03:33

Welcome back, Macadia and thank you for your very wise and generous advice. Sending every good wish to you and your family.