I have been friends with someone for over 55 years. We both retired within a few month of each other and so have spent more time together than was usual, though we often spoke on the phone often four and five times a week.
I thought we would always be there for each other. She has been a real help for me and I also supported her when she was ill with depression.
She has always had a tendency to gloom but we tend to ride this out- we seem to balance things out well because I tend to be more upbeat.
In the past six months I have noticed a difference in her. She is frequently down, drinking more and refusing to see medical professionals- saying she hopes she just quietly slips away.
She knows I find these comments upsetting but insists on making them and I have grown tired of it.
More recently we met up and she stormed off, although I had said nothing to upset her. I found her behaviour childish and due to the amount she had had to drink.
I decided to let things lie for a while but have sent a couple of supportive messages without getting very much back except she'll be in touch soon.
The thing is I miss not being able to ring her for a chat. Am I being as stubborn as she is?
The 'fall-out' was over a month ago- so do I just keep things low key and keep messaging, or should I either ring or go knock on her door and ask what she's playing at?
I have been very busy anyway with my family and other friends, as well as being unwell- but when I have a few spare minutes I'm tempted just to ring her (she's had her phone switched off for a while) in the hope she'll answer?
Or should I just accept these things happen sometime and we'll soon be back to normal, or do I see it as a sign she needs more space than I realised and just let her get on with it?
I just think the longer it's left the harder it will be to get back what we had.
