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Feeling I ve been taken for a ride update

(27 Posts)
Notjustaprettyface Wed 19-Feb-25 17:58:36

Well if you read my previous post , I really took on board what you said and I am grateful for all your advice
My ´friend’ however , still keeps sending me texts and phones me
I feel uncomfortable telling him outright that I d rather have nothing to do with him as he might think I am jealous etc and although there might be an element of that , I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing it
So , has anyone got any ideas how I can convey the message that I am not interested
I still don’t think it’s right of him to show that much interest in me if he has somebody else lined up
If you are just a friend , you don’t keep texting etc
It doesn’t tally
Would be grateful for advice please

Elowen33 Tue 13-May-25 11:58:09

This post was February, hopefully it has been resolved.

Cossy Tue 13-May-25 11:56:38

I’m afraid I’d delete him, literally, from my phone and life, and move on.

Snowbelle Tue 13-May-25 11:42:38

Allsorts

I really can't undersand the problem. He's playing with you, has no resoect and you are letting him. Just block him.

I agree , don’t give him any explanation or warning just block him from all avenues of communicating with you and get on with your life in peace.

Notjustaprettyface Wed 07-May-25 14:31:07

Silverbrooks
I have pm you

Elowen33 Thu 20-Feb-25 12:30:47

If you really do not want any contact you would block him.

Hithere Thu 20-Feb-25 12:13:08

Did he promise you to be exclusive with you?

If not, you have not been taken for a ride

Notjustaprettyface Thu 20-Feb-25 10:08:34

Thanks everyone for your responses
A lot of common sense being spoken
I will let him know that I am not comfortable with the situation given that he has an interest in someone else and that I am still married

Notjustaprettyface Thu 20-Feb-25 10:04:25

Hi Silverbrooks
It sounds quite good !
Thank you !

Dee1012 Thu 20-Feb-25 08:53:55

If I recall, this person is going abroad next month?

Why don't you just say that 'it's been lovely reconnecting but given the situation, I feel uncomfortable continuing this so I won't respond further. I hope it all goes well for you in the future. Goodbye'

Oopsadaisy1 Thu 20-Feb-25 08:38:29

Notjustaprettyface tell him the truth that your DH is in a care home and you really can’t continue texting him.

Then just block the calls. TBH it sounds as though you want him to keep texting you?

TwinLolly Thu 20-Feb-25 08:33:47

I'd be wary of stalking. Please don't pander to him by answering his calls or his messages. It sounds like he's starting to become clingy. By not doing so, it should drive the message home that you are not interested.

If he continues, block his number. Keep a record of his messages if they get menacing so that you can report him. But please stop responding to him.

mokryna Thu 20-Feb-25 08:01:47

He wants his bread buttered on both sides, if it doesn’t work out over there he has got you to fall back on. Block him, don’t let him think there could be a friendship or more or you could get hurt.

Astitchintime Thu 20-Feb-25 07:59:45

"I feel uncomfortable telling him outright that I d rather have nothing to do with him as he might think I am jealous etc and although there might be an element of that , I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing it" .......... this really makes no sense whatsoever, why would not wanting anything to do with him indicate that you were jealous??

Whilst ever you keep the lines of communication open he will keep on contacting you.
Block his number.......simple!

Oopsadaisy1 Thu 20-Feb-25 07:51:38

Tell him you are still married then block his calls.

Allsorts Thu 20-Feb-25 07:43:36

I really can't undersand the problem. He's playing with you, has no resoect and you are letting him. Just block him.

OldFrill Wed 19-Feb-25 23:15:39

You say you don't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing you are jealous, but you are allowing him the satisfaction of stringing you along.
Text him sayin"I'm moving on and so have no room for loose ends, no response required" then block him. Don't allow yourself to be played, its his ego you're feeding, yours is worth more.

BlueberryPie Wed 19-Feb-25 22:39:26

I wouldn't say you've been taken for a ride, exactly, unless you've given him money or something like that.

It seems more like he had some interest in you, but it was casual and ended before it really even got started, possibly more than once.

Now he wants to keep you on the back burner in case his current thing doesn't work out or he just enjoys the kick and attention of flirting, or whatever.

I wouldn't doubt if he has more women he does this with than just you, either. He seems to me a type or I guess I should say a "stereotype." And his new woman won the big "prize," a 70-year-old player who calls other women. Pick me, pick me? LOL

Yeah, I'd block him and move on. He is taking up energy you could be putting toward finding a solid partner. But that's just my opinion. Best wishes.

Hithere Wed 19-Feb-25 22:13:24

" thank you for your interest, this is not something I would like to pursue on my end at this point.

I wish you best of your luck in the future "

Done!

Be clear is to be kind, don't play games

Silverbrooks Wed 19-Feb-25 21:53:03

I do remember this but it seems the other thread may have been removed. Maybe you asked for that to be done. I won’t recap but one thing I would say is this. Some men like to hedge their bets, have someone in reserve in case things don’t work out with whoever is their current priority.

From what I remember you telling us, the other relationship is new and will have logistical complications so it may not work out.

The other thing is, he knows that your situation is difficult and that things are hard for you. Difficult to know if he is being selfish, keeping you in reserve, or being kind because of the loneliness you described.

I would put it like this. Say you think it would be unfair to the other woman if the two of you continue to communicate. Tell him you’d be happy to hear from him again if things don’t work out between them (assuming you would be), wish him well and say goodbye for now. That leaves the door open for both of you further down the line (if that's what you want) but gives you both the dignity of a graceful exit and the upper hand.

How does that sound?

buffyfly9 Wed 19-Feb-25 18:10:00

If you really feel that you don't want to continue this friendship and he won't take no for an answer then you have little option but to do the following. If you recognise the number from caller display then don't answer it. Don't open and read his texts, just delete them. This presupposes that you have made it crystal clear that you no longer want to have a relationship. If he persists then it's almost stalking isn't it? I think you are being "too nice", you must be polite but very firm in telling him that you are just not interested and to cease communication.

Davida1968 Wed 19-Feb-25 18:09:51

Just "block" his number? Perhaps tell him in advance (by text - about five minutes before you block him), that you're doing this? Then there should be no misunderstanding!

NotSpaghetti Wed 19-Feb-25 18:09:10

Suggest you don't reply instantly then.
That's what I'd probably do.
Maybe leave it hanging a day or two.

BlueBelle Wed 19-Feb-25 18:08:41

Ignore the texts and calls

Notjustaprettyface Wed 19-Feb-25 18:06:51

Yes but it’s still not right to that extent
I have other male friends and they don’t do that

NotSpaghetti Wed 19-Feb-25 18:01:40

Is he just being "chatty" though?