Do I or don’t I?

Your friend will know where you live presumably so coukd easily contact you if she wants to. She cut you off and I would leave well alone.

Presumably she still has your contact details.. you could send her a card just saying you are there if she wants to meet up, but it rather sounds as though she doesn't...

Personally I d wait and see if she contacts you now she’s closer
If you contact her and get a silence or a brush off it will hurt all over again

I’d leave it. Sad really but these things happen. They know where you live. Probably too much water under that particular bridge now.

I'd wait to see if she contacts you and then be careful as she cut you off once and can do it again .
One of my friends has recently contacted me and asked me to stay at the coast.
She's very ill and consumed with sadness

I wish her well ,but I'm conscious of her constantly blowing hot and cold and letting me down .
I message her occasionally , but I'm not rushing down to the seaside .

BlueBelle

Personally I d wait and see if she contacts you now she’s closer
If you contact her and get a silence or a brush off it will hurt all over again

Yes, I agree.

Yes leave it to her to get in touch, just because she now lives closer to you it doesn’t mean she wants to resume your friendship.
Take care x

Do whatever you feel you want, hope for the best, expect the worst.

There is always a reason for cutting off a relationship - no matter how senseless it might sound
For example - the friendship no longer worked for one side
Illness in the family
Who knows?

You also say she lost her partner, how long ago?
She could be grieving

She knows where to find you.
I would wait for her to take the first step

Leave well alone.

I agree that it's best to leave well alone and let her make the move if she wants to reestablish contact.

However, it might be possible she has guilt about cutting you off, would love to make contact but won't dare.

So it's up to you. We're a long time dead so write a note if you wish.

Totally contradicted myself there!

Leave it to her. She will contact you if she wants to see you.

Unless as Rula says, she’s too embarrassed to. 🤷‍♀️

I would leave the past where it is.

Leave well alone......your 'friends' broke ties years ago, hasn't contacted you to say they've moved closer so I would say that it has run its course. You are worth better.

When you say no particular reason, may she have thought there was one? were there any mischief makers around?

How hard did you try and keep the friendship going?

Are you in need of friends?

So many unanswered questions...

Depending on the above answers I'd perhaps send a brief card stating that you are sorry to here of her bereavement and that you wish her well.

Then try and forget about it.

Good luck.

Thanks everyone. I think I will leave things as they are and reassess if she does get in touch.
Lovely of you all to reply.🙂

Having moved for work as a Social Worker 4 times since 1987 - Orkney to Norfolk to Aberdeen to Helensburgh before returning to Orkney for my last job and retirement, I have lost touch with many valued friends along the way without meaning too; managing to keep in touch with only one via a Christmas card and a couple of sentences over the years. We have recently reconnected at a deeper level over a bereavement.. I would love to get back in touch with the others again too but have no means of doing so. You have been offered that chance....

Seek them out on social media perhaps, otherwise make new friends. Sea dragon.
It’s possible even if we are older. Enjoy your retirement and as a retired social worker myself, you deserve it.

I had a similar situation with a friend but I was the one who slowly cut the ties because tbh I disliked her new husband and we had started to do everything as couples. I moved out of the area and we had no contact for several years. I heard via another friend that her marriage had broken up and I got in contact again.
We've been good friends since, we've never discussed the period of time we were estranged, it is of no importance to me and clearly she's not bothered either. Our friendship has enriched my life and hopefully hers too. I try not to close doors completely on friendships, I would send a card acknowledging her bereavement with some kind words and including my contact details. If she wants to make contact then no doubt she will as you have given her a clear opportunity to renew the friendship. However, only do this if you really want her back in your life.

I would leave it now.
Unless you are very curious. How did you discover where she is?
Is there a mutual friend in the picture?

She cut you off, 15 years ago, in a very unkind way. I wouldn't be inclined to contact her

Well I would make contact. 15 years is a long time. When my youngest DD was about 3 I made friends with another mum also with a 3-year old (boy). We soon had a group of mums (and the odd dad!) who got together regularly and once at school we had a rota to pick up one or two kiddies to give their mums a break. In later years we holidayed together (our DHs got on well and later still we formed a quiz team at our local pub. We often had "dinner parties" together and I would have considered her one of my closed friends. Her DS invited our DD and us to his wedding and later our DD did the same in reverse.

Then it suddenly went wrong and I don't know why. There was a spell of about two months when I wasn't able to get to the weekly quizzes (I worked 45 miles away) and on one occasion, intending to go, I suffered a TIA and was rushed to hospital. My other friends told me later that she was furious that I had let them down with no notice!!

After that she simply didn't keep in touch (she lived about 200 yards from me) and the other ladies in the group said they had no idea why. It is all about 15 years ago now.

Last week I heard that she is suffering from Dementia. I was most upset as she had been such a lively woman. She is probably about 78 and her DH is at least 6 years older.

I haven't got in touch yet, but I will do. She may or may not remember me, but her DH will and I just think it is neighbourly to offer my support in whatever way I can, if only emotional support to him. We were friends for almost a lifetime.

So I would get in touch, see how the land lies, and accept that if it doesn't work out you at least offered the olive branch.

Closest friends!!!