Birthday present disappointment.

I would be buying my partner presents to thank him for all the work he had done for me. Taaken him out for a slap up meal, taken him somewhere he wanted to go.

Talk about looking the gift horse in the mouth!

Can you imagine him on a men’s forum “ I ve just spent a week clearing out my partners garden nearly did my back in, it would have cost her a bomb to have a man come in to do it I gave it to her for a birthday present with all my love gone into my work and she said she d have rather have had a bottle of perfume, well she can have a card for Christmas”
🤣🤣🤣

Whitewavemark2

Blimey! I would have bitten his hand off. I think it was a thoughtful and kind and expensive! Gift.

My feelings exactly.

BlueBelle

I ll have him for Christmas if everyone’s ok with that 🤣

Bagsy him till Christmas then. 😬

I'm with everyone else, given the choice of a gift or a weeks gardening the garden would win hands down. To give up precious leisure time is a gift worth it's weight in gold.

I ll have him for Christmas if everyone’s ok with that 🤣

I have a feeling this relationship is on the skids.

He gave you a gift! Your garden! Go out and enjoy it... a lovely garden is a gift that will keep on giving long after chocolate and wine has gone.

I agree that if I was your partner I would just throw you some supermaket flowers next year... if he's still around.

NotSpaghetti

I was surprised when you mentioned payment and that he said he "would be cheaper"- but I expect he'd always planned this as your secret gift. 😉

I would be truly delighted to have had the gift of a whole week of someone's time and effort lovingly given.

If I could choose between a week of gardening or a gift... I would not choose the gift!

Well yes he was certainly cheaper and he probably did plan it is a gift but didn't want to spoil the surprise.

I think it is a wonderful present, so much effort to make something special for OP. I'd love it.

My husband is disabled so could never do something like that for me, if I'm ill and he manages to make me some toast and tea it is special because it is hard for him. I feel quite envious.

He gave you his time - nothing more precious than that- and his energy - that’s not always in plentiful supply.

In essence he gave you himself.

I’m sur there were other things he would rather have spent his time and energy on, but he gave them to you.

And you would rather have a bottle of perfume off the high street🙄

What a lovely, lovely man! He gave you something he knew you really wanted but couldn’t afford and you would rather have had a small physical present which would probably have been something you didn’t really want and could have bought yourself.
You sound very childish and ungrateful! Watch you don’t loose him.

Poppyred

Wow, what a lovely man! You sound like a spoilt child, throwing your dummy out of the pram……..

Yes Poppyred 🤣😂

And Shortbreadandkilts, can you send him round to me? I've a birthday coming up.

Wow, what a lovely man! You sound like a spoilt child, throwing your dummy out of the pram……..

You re right RosiandherMaw I must have been getting muddled up with another poster Apologies to Gramaratto

Doesn’t change my opinion he doesn’t live there so not reaping the benefits of the garden and poster says she had already talked about paying him if he did do it so it should have come as a lovely surprise to have it all done dusted and no hundreds to fork out

Would others if given the choice have gone for the gardening which saved me a few hundred pounds or a less expensive but personal gift chosen by him for me?
I think the answer from 99% would be for the garden
Re paying a partner I think that really depends on the strength of the relationship they don’t live together we don’t know how long this relationship has been going on for or how the finances work also we don’t know anything about the man.. is he a worker who took time off to do the garden or did it in his week off or is he a retired man sitting on a big pension
So a lot of variables

BlueBelle

Gramaratto poster doesn’t say he s her partner she says he’s her boyfriend in my eyes there’s a difference a partner is a step up from a boyfriend They don’t live together it’s not his house or his garden we don’t know how new the relationship is !
No I wouldn’t expect to pay a ‘live in’ partner (who was using snd enjoying my garden) for a job but a ‘live in his own house boyfriend’ yes I probably would expect to for a very big job like that, obviously not for changing a light bulb 🤣

I was given quotes by gardeners and the cost was more than I could afford. I mentioned it to my partner (we don’t live together) and he said he would do it for less. He did it, did a great job and it took the best part of a week

No BlueBelle - she does say “partner”.

Shortbreadandkilts, if he had asked you if you wanted him to do your garden instead of buying you a birthday gift what would your response have been I wonder?
There’s considerable value and commitment in a weeks work and he did at least remember your birthday!

Gramaratto poster doesn’t say he s her partner she says he’s her boyfriend in my eyes there’s a difference a partner is a step up from a boyfriend They don’t live together it’s not his house or his garden we don’t know how new the relationship is !
No I wouldn’t expect to pay a ‘live in’ partner (who was using snd enjoying my garden) for a job but a ‘live in his own house boyfriend’ yes I probably would expect to for a very big job like that, obviously not for changing a light bulb 🤣

jane43 I thought so too and my son told me he enjoyed the day and thought it was better than physical presents, so happy all round. Not sure the grandchildren thought so😁 but they "helped".

Agree totally with BlueBelle.

If the job would have cost ‘hundreds of pounds’, why would he be expected to do it for nothing? It didn’t sound like he was just cutting the lawn.

As for preferring a present!

How old is the OP? Sounds more like a child, wanting a present.

Whitewavemark2

Blimey! I would have bitten his hand off. I think it was a thoughtful and kind and expensive! Gift.

Definitely … gardening best part of a week …labour of love ..
I would have appreciated this ‘gift’…

I would have been absolutely thrilled to have the garden done but surely, unless gardening is his profession, I wouldn't expect to pay my partner.
Do you expect to be paid for jobs you do?

I wouldn't expect hundreds of pounds to be spent on a gift either.
You sound a very lucky lady shortbread

Well I think you are being VERY ungrateful That was a big practical birthday present wihich saved you hundreds if pounds and you d rather have some perfume or a bottle of wine ….lyou even got a card from him, blimey a lot of men don’t even remember birthdays much less a card and a weeks worth of back breaking work
We ve no idea whether this is a new or long term relationship they obviously don’t live together and poster says * I was fully prepared to pay him* so it doesn’t sound like a full on husband/ wife situation, it’s not his house not his garden . I bet he thought that saving you hundreds of pounds would be a great way to show you he loved you but you d rather have a small inexpensive trinket good grief you don’t deserve him

Send him this way I ll happily have some house repairs for my Christmas present

I was surprised when you mentioned payment and that he said he "would be cheaper"- but I expect he'd always planned this as your secret gift. 😉

I would be truly delighted to have had the gift of a whole week of someone's time and effort lovingly given.

If I could choose between a week of gardening or a gift... I would not choose the gift!

I agree with the others. A physical gift is something he might have given to anyone - perfume, chocolates, bath stuff etc are nice but you can buy all of that yourself. Putting in time and physical labour is much more personal, and I assume is something he would only do for you?

I too find it odd that a “partner” would expect paying, perhaps the relationship is not as close as all that.
Conversely a box of chocolates from a partner would have been a bit of a cop out as a present.
The third thing is that we get older “stuff” -and that includes presents- is less welcome. A day out, a special meal, a weekend break by all means but no more “stuff”.
So actually - saving you paying somebody else by doing the garden work for you was a really kind gesture.

I think someone is being a tad ungrateful. What a treasure of a man.