Birthday present disappointment.

I'm not one for birthdays so I'd happily be pleased with the gardening rather than a gift that may not have been what you would have liked.

All that I want for my birthday (tomorrow ) is a Card.
I doubt I’ll get one this year - my sons are on holiday and my daughter doesn’t believe in cards but is taking me out for a meal tomorrow. A couple of friends will drop me cards if they remember .
I had a big birthday last year and had lovely celebrations, so I guess it’s going to be a quiet one this year.

What a brilliant idea lovingit. I hope you have a lovely time with your son.

When my son asked me what I wanted for my birthday I asked for 2 days of his time fixing all the little jobs I cant do.So in August he's driving over from Poland with my grandson and meanwhile I am starting the list; fence painted,new light ,furniture moved,shelves.........
Three days of catching up and two days of jobs...perfect.

I hope this lovely man has seen the light, dumped ungrateful Shortbreadandkilts and found someone who will appreciate him. I couldn’t believe what I read from the OP. She sounds a nightmare and I suspect that what anyone buys for her will be wrong in one way or another.
I don’t think I would even give her a card in future. It might be the wrong sort, romantic when she wants humour, scenic when she prefers cartoons etc. Some people are never grateful, or satisfied.

He did it, did a great job and it took the best part of a week. I asked him how much he wanted for the job and he said hang fire for the time being and pay him later.
It looks like he intended to do this as your birthday surprise from the start. What a pity his well intentioned gift backfired on him and it spoiled your birthday. Tell him in good time what you would like for your next birthday to avoid another disappointment and spend some of the money you have saved on a good night out for the pair of you.

* Shortbreadandkilts*

Sorry Shirtbreadandkilts you have come across as ungrateful and spoilt.
You dont deserve such a helpful kind partner.

Having married a non-gardener and having always loved my garden and am now struggling I would have bitten his arm off for this. I think it is extremely romantic. I hope you didn't show your disappointment after all that hard work.

BlueBelle

Gramaratto poster doesn’t say he s her partner she says he’s her boyfriend in my eyes there’s a difference a partner is a step up from a boyfriend They don’t live together it’s not his house or his garden we don’t know how new the relationship is !
No I wouldn’t expect to pay a ‘live in’ partner (who was using snd enjoying my garden) for a job but a ‘live in his own house boyfriend’ yes I probably would expect to for a very big job like that, obviously not for changing a light bulb 🤣

Read the post again, she says he’s her partner and also that they don’t live together, it is why I thought it odd that he would expect payment.

I think that this is quite sad and I'm convinced that whatever he did/bought/arranged, the OP was likely to be disappointed. Maybe says a lot more about the relationship?

Someone who cared about me enough to devote his time and effort into transforming my garden - as a gift ? Well, what a star !!

Georgesgran's wonderful story about the Vauxhall Chevette isn't so different, is it?

And Petra, lucky you - because if you PMSL, then your Partner's choice couldn't be more thoughtful. 🤭
😉

I’ve got a house full of presents that I’ve received over the years that are not quite what I would have wanted. And I’m sure I’ve given things to other people that have just found their way to charity shops. I always give my son money with which he pays for membership of somewhere he can take the family throughout the year. My partner is a nightmare to buy presents for. I wish we could have a presents amnesty. I do get upset if I don’t get a card from my family, though.

You have the rest of the summer to enjoy your birthday gift Shortbreadandkilts.

Point taken Gramaretto

Franski - your chrysanthemum gift is totally different.
I don't like meat so wouldn't want a gift of a meal in a steakhouse!
The OP DID want her garden done....

but obviously not as a gift!

I don't understand your attitude, I'd be thrilled. Lovely gift.

I’d have been glad of the gardening, but if you wanted a “gift” I can see why you’re upset.
A week’s gardening would have cost you a lot, woukd you have been any happier if he’d bought you a present and handed you the bill for his work?

It's all very well for you to criticise the replies Franski, but we are asked in the OP what we would prefer.
Incidentally, where is Shortbread?

I think that someone spending a long time working in my garden, when it's not even his, is a very personal present.

Well some people are clearly never satisfied.
A weeks worth of hard work to create something beautiful or a box of choccies?
No contest it seems

A lot of judgement here! When someone says " i felt hurt because of x' IMO it is totally unhelpful to reply with ' oh I wouldn't have been hurt, don't be selfish/ ungrateful/ demanding/ petty.
Presents and birthday gifts are incredibly personal and loaded with meaning. Often only understood from inside the relationship.

An example. I hate chyrysanthemums.. my DH knows that. Anytime he has bought me a bunch of chrysanths from a garage forecourt, I feel irritated. My friends think I should be grateful.....you GNetters might think I shouldn't be so picky.
But it's all in the nuance isnt it? What it means in the context of the relationship.

Firstly, I’ve got to say, I know a lot of people who take birthdays/anniversaries etc very seriously. I’m glad DH and I were on the same page and didn’t! Lots to consider in the OP too - partners, so more than gf/bf, but no mention of ages. Did he take time off work to tackle this job? Is he retired? What’s his track record with gifts? Does he struggle to find things? Generous in spirit and deed, or a cheapskate who could but won’t spend money? There’s often advice here to offer one’s time to others, rather than present gifts which will end up in charity shops.
From another thread, gardeners are charging from £25 to £50 an hour, so think how much money was saved.
Like others, I think he’s done a grand job and should be thanked - even rewarded by a meal out, or small gift - new gardening gloves or handcream.

In the ‘70’s, DH’s BiL bought his wife a brand new car for Christmas. A pale green, Vauxhall Chevette, adorned with an enormous bow, secreted in the garage on 🎄Eve. ‘Til the day she died, MinL complained that he hadn’t even ‘left a box of chocolates inside!’

You can’t please all the people all the time.

I could not believe you were serious when I read your post. What a wonderful present from someone who doesn’t even live with you. He obviously said he could do it for less to keep the surprise element. What a very lucky lady you are! What a treasure he is! A really sensible gift.

I would definitely have chosen the gardening option rather than a gift. Men often struggle when choosing presents for their partners, so a practical solution was the obvious choice.

BlueBelle

I ll have him for Christmas if everyone’s ok with that 🤣

PMSL 😂

I got a Japanese Washloo for my birthday this year. I didn’t ask for one.
My partner fitted one for our daughter and thought i know, Petra would love one of these

I hope you can see the wash symbols. It’s hilarious 🤣 look at rear wash and front wash. It can even give you a mini enema.

I think he might have struggled to think of something OP wanted and thought that sorting out her garden was a good present - it's the thought that counts, after all.

However, I think if it had been me I'd have appreciated a bunch of flowers on the day together with the card and message about the garden.