I have just returned to Ireland to live after working in a very stressful job in the NHS. I am working part-time in Ireland on a much reduced salary, but I really like my new job and can live very frugally. I am 60. I have two adult children, but one is still in college and I am still supporting him - no free fees in Ireland and no student loan. He has one more year left in college.
I have spoken about this briefly before. My partner never married, has no children, own his house outright as I do mine, but earns about 750 to 1000 per week. He is a nice guy but wants to travel a lot - which I don't anymore due to finances mostly but also have travelled a bit previously. He does not seem to listen at all when I say I am almost retired now and want to live frugally. Recently, I said my son's - the one in college - car broke down. He needs it for commuting and I was going to help him with the bill to repair it - he earns minimum wage in part-time work - but that it was a big stress for me now that I was earning much less, but that I knew next year my son would be finished college and earning good money. My partner then said why don't I just buy by son a new car. I felt so annoyed. I felt like he hadn't been hearing me at all for the last year when I have said I feel really burnt out, need to almost retire and had been working for 41 years at this stage.
He is always also pressurising me to go abroad on holidays. He will say he will pay for the hotel and I pay for the flights - but then there is the meals out abroad. He always wants to eat out and not go self-catering - and we share the cost of these meals equally - but it is a financial pressure for me to do all this when I can stay at home and go camping around Ireland or UK. There is also the issue if he pays more for a meal than I do he calculates how much extra he spent - he doesn't ask me for the money, but I have said to him before I feel he is calculating how much more he spent than me on a meal and he has agreed that he is doing this.
He is a nice guy, caring etc, but I feel the age gap is showing in terms of me wanting to retire and he is still working full-time and has a lot more money. I also don't feel heard despite repeatedly stating for over a year that I want a very part-time job and to semi retire and live frugally and that I was really burnt out with working.
Any advice/comment would be welcome.
