Stuck between

I would ignore DD for a few days.

Up to you how you handle your mum.
You know her best.
Not sure she is going to change now, unfortunately.

Why are you allowing these women to do this to you?
Why are you allowing yourself to do this to yourself?

Positive relationships always work two ways- it seems as if your the one doing all the work and I'm wondering why.

You write about hugs, don't you get them from your DH?

Why do you want hugs from people who clearly don't enjoy them? Everyone has a right to their own physical space.

Sometimes I hug people, and sometimes I don't. You just have to gauge the signs and not take it so personally. A forced hug is no hug.

It seems to me there is more going on than you are saying- especially around your need for validation from two people who don't see it as an issue.

People are entitled to their own space and their own feelings, but relying so much on others to make you feel happy is not healthy for you or them.

You will harm these relationships more if you don't stand back a little. Let them be who they are, distressing as it may be.

I think if you give yourself time to think it will become clear how you should move forward...

Thank you so much.
I need a hug and the 2 people I need it from don't hug.
Hubby is amazing but his Mum does hug and isn't like my Mum and he has a totally different relationship than me with DD ( in a good way ) so he just doesn't get it.
I feel like I'm walking on egg shells with DD and I've had enough .
Can't believe I'm not even allowed to ask how shes feeling!! What a terrible Mum i am ..........
I purposely haven't contacted her but it's killing me.

I totally understand how you feel…….it’s almost as though we have to be hard as nails and a kicking board for everyone else to snap and snarl at! And it is draining, hurtful and completely unacceptable. Been there, done that, got countless tee shirts OP!
My advice……sit back and say nothing, don’t ask how anyone is, don’t make comments on behaviour and only when the storm has passed and someone ask after you explain how you feel. Sending a hug in the hope it makes you feel a little better and keep in touch with GN……we won’t snap and snarl.