I'm amazed at my very mature daughter's behaviour.

I can see why you’re puzzled, Dee25. I think my late North country father’s saying, ‘there’s nowt so queer as folks’, just about sums it up!
You’re wise to keep out of it.

Dee25

I suppose I feel she is trying to buy his love and approval....

I think she is just telling him she still loves him.

I suppose I feel she is trying to buy his love and approval....

Dee25

My daughter, in her 60s, long separated from her husband in England, has been living happily for five years with a much younger man on the other side of the world. Her eldest son cannot accept this, barely speaks to her, or lets her see his children. When she is over here, he now won't let her visit them.
She continues, however, to be charming to him, and has just bought him an extremely expensive birthday present (which I doubt he will even acknowledge.......

Can I ask in what way you’re amazed by your daughter’s behaviour? Do you think it right or wrong?

I applaud her for it.

No, I'm not getting involved.... I'm just puzzled at them both, I suppose. People are so, so different. My new partner has three sons, one of whom suddenly gave up all contact, without a reason, and has sworn his brother to secrecy as to why.
My partner is quite unbothered.....

I didn’t see this as the OP ‘getting involved’.

To me, she was just relating how things were between her daughter and grandson.

Don't get involved

I'm amazed at your grandson's behaviour if the story is as simple as you tell it.

What a pity. I always listened to my children they came first. I was wrong. At 60 your daughter knows her own mind and if she is happy with her partner her son should be understanding.
Living the other side of the world does he want her sad and alone? He has his partner and children after all. Its hard on you too. However its up to them.

I agree with Bluebelle.
Keep your own counsel and let them sort it out.

Sounds like a bit of jealousy there but your daughter is being the bigger person and if she’s happy with her younger man good luck to her Don’t get in the middle of it accept both in the same way you always have

Thats kids for you!
Try not to get yourself worked up about it, it's your daughter's problem.