Husband doesn’t want sex

Thankyou ladies, it helps to get your feedback.

I imagine that am awful lot of women in long term relationships have many of the sane issues you describe. My OH hasn't touched me for about 5 years. I have asked him to come to bed in the past (we sleep in separate rooms because of his snoring and very late bedtimes and early wake ups). I had to do something as I wasn't sleeping properly when we shared a bed, but he took that to mean I didn't want him near me, and the affection (hugs) and touching disappeared. I still wanted affection but he's just not interested and hasn't initiated it. When we see friends it's all hugs for them, I feel jealous and I know that's stupid. I know that if someone showed affection for me, I would now find it hard to reciprocate, something has died inside. I used to feel terribly hurt but now I'm numb. Not like the old me at all. What I would say to you is, you will have to find a way to cope with your husbands lack of affection. I wouldn't blame you if you took a lover.

the more annoyed you get with him about it the less chance of resolving the issue... do you have hugs and affection for each other usually or is it becoming just wanting sex.. some mens libido is lower that others..... also as he has prostatitis is he sore.
I watch Dr Phil on You Tube and there was a case like yours on there and they wife was so angry with her husband.

Im so grateful to have a reply thankyou alig99. It’s the first time I’ve ever used these forums so I was worried no one would.
I do love my OH & as you say I wouldn’t want to leave. But now I feel different I feel like a hypocrite. I just can’t understand the way these men are thinking. If there’s a problem just TELL me- I have said so.
I don’t have a group of female friends to confide in but the general consensus seems to be that men never turn it down and that if you’re not getting it at home you’re entitled to go elsewhere. This isn’t my first marriage so Im not naive but I never expected this or signed up for it & I have told him so. His response is to just try & be nicer to me in other ways but it doesn’t help.
This might sound silly but I really hope I DONT end up fancying someone else because I wouldn’t be able to go through all the lies & upheaval. .. on the other hand, I miss the physical affection so much & a vibrator doesn’t help with that.

I can definitely relate to your situation but unfortunately I have no advice. The situation between my OH and me is very similar and for about the same number of years. I also feel so unhappy and often angry not only that there is no sex but no loving. Unfortunately my libido hasn't diminished and I have not found any substitute to relieve these feelings. I am not sure I actually fancy my OH any more either. I flinch if he touches me on the shoulder or arm just because the ultimate rejection has become so difficult to bear. I bear this situation as I don't think there is anything more I can do about it until my OH decides he wants to change the situation. Like your husband mine won't go to the doctor. He has ED and I think its due to a psychological issue but he won't entertain that notion to me. Should I leave him, I don't want to so I plod on I guess to death do we part.