Revenge on an ex

ExDancer

How sad you want revenge. Were you the perfect wife?

That's a bit harsh. As is giving a thrup'enny wotsit about what his friends would think!

People feel what they feel, and circumstances differ. Not everyone can rise above feeling vengeful, particularly as people's breakups involve very different scenarios.

IMO it is better to walk away with head held high, but that doesn't mean I don't understand people wanting their ex's fillings to fall out one at a time and all their camels to be barren for ever more.

Oh dear, this was meant to be a rather light hearted post and I was hoping it would lead to some amusing stories but but some people seem to have taken it too seriously. Sigh.
ExDancer - no I probably wasn’t the perfect wife, can anyone honestly say they were/are? But at the time I was very hurt.
rafichagran
After over 40 years I don’t have any feelings for my ex neither good or bad. As I said in my previous post I have a lovely life.

The prawn story (and variants of it) has been going around for years. Fact check.

www.snopes.com/fact-check/sew-shrimp-curtains-revenge/

The two urban myths I have heard about cheating partners were, the one where the partner glues the man's penis to his leg with superglue. There is also the one where the woman leaves the man and before leaving she rings another country on the house phone and leaves it off the hook. In the version I heard it was the time checker in Japan.

There is also the true story about Lorena Bobbitt but that was not related to John Bobbitt's infidelity.

There's the old chestnut about the man who (rather conveniently) drives a cement lorry and he comes home to find a swish new (conveniently) convertible car (conveniently with the hood down) parked outside his house. He assumes the worst and fills the car with cement. Later it turns out that the car was a present that his wife had bought him as a surprise.

I did hear of a woman who sowed mustard and cress on her ex-s living-room carpet....

Not being sanctimonious but this is all sounds pretty mean to me.

I did not try to get revenge in spite of cruelty and unfaithfulness. I think I felt a lot better and more free by just walking away - though the next few months were very painful. i told my two children not to blame 'the other woman' because the marriage would have ended anyway. They were young adults by then and I knew they would need to have as good a relationship as they could with their father and it was better if they did not carry anger at the woman he then married.

Doing anything at all means he has control over you, doing nothing means you are free.

Kandinsky

I think totally ignoring ex’s and moving on happily with your life is the best revenge. ( if you’re into revenge of course )

Yes, indeed, providing this doesn't lead you open to more abuse/attacks, in which case unfortunately you need to be protectively proactive.

100% well said, dont waste your energy on a ex

DiL (hopefully soon to be not!) is a complete narcissist and has done awful things to our son and their children which has broken our hearts and made DH and I ill. However we have kept a dignified silence on all fronts. Despite not being divorced yet she is already engaged to the new man and pregnant....

When my first husband was having an affair, we were still living together and she bought him some expensive aftershave. I emptied it down the toilet and filled the bottle with diluted pine scented toilet cleaner. I never told him but it made me secretly smile every morning when he splashed it on, totally oblivious. We later became friends again once we’d moved in but I never dared admit it to him 😂

A good friend of mine did feel a sort of revenge when her ex became demented. She remarked that it was down to his second wife to look after him and she was very glad she didn't have to.
Financially, she'd done really well, with a highly paid job plus an inheritance from her mother at the time of the divorce. Emotionally it was terrible, a double whammy, but eventually her wealth was a reason mentally to put two fingers up to the ex.

If I had an ex, it would be me that had called time on the relationship...

Oh dear, to me these actions are demeaning to the person who carries them out, rather than to the person they are done to.

I had absolutely no reason to wish for revenge. He was generosity personified, I got the family home, with contents, all our monies, insurance policies etc. His guilt speaking, I didn't care just took it all. After 35 years together I never saw him or spoke to him ever again. I've had a lovely life, both before and after the divorce.

“Revenge is a dish best served cold”
Got my own back once using this quote as person concerned wasn’t expecting my response!
Other than that my revenge has been to be happy and live a fulfilled life!

(Which it would in my case, anyway, its better to occupy the high moral ground)

Knowing he will do the same to the next woman is difficult to bear however. (This was co-ercive abuse, not another women). If he attempted to come near he knows the police and SSD would be on the case, as its all logged)

But he left me in a bad state, fortunately like Kandinsky and others have said, making to most of life now)

The light hearted answer:

On one message board I was on, there was reference to What Was Under the Patio when a partner offended

I didnt really have revenge on my ex but did go and see his new girlfriend and said she could have him, but she said that wasnt what she wanted. At the time she was a friend. Anyway he did not stay with her and has now remarried. Apparently the new wife is jealous of me (he told me that) and when we met at my sons wedding some years ago she asked if I had had my menopause! Strange question. Since then he now has very rare contact with his children or his grandchildren and they are not bothered. I think I could be revengeful under the right circumstances but it would have to be subtle.

mumski

Got the keys to his new 'love nest' from one of my daughters.

Powered chilli in all his y fronts. (A slow burn! Doesn't come into effect until it all gets a bit sweaty)
Poured all their expensive liqueurs down the sink and filled the bottles with washing up liquid, floor cleaner etc .

Whooped his ass in court over the divorce settlement. He thought I would role over and just agree to everything he wanted.

Can't remember what else I did as it was 25 years ago. But the feeling of satisfaction still remines.

Recently, a feeling of satisfaction as one daughter refuses to have anything to do with him, as he continued his coercive and controlling behaviour. Police involved.

I really fail to understand your actions. Maybe I'm wrong but I think they were totally abhorrent and even illegal. You effectively broke into his house, you tried to do him harm and you then poured poisonous substances into bottles of alcohol. You could have done very serious damage to someone. What's more you even involved your daughter in this!
Quite frankly I'd say your ex is well out of it.

I had my revenge without knowing it … Five years after a devastating split, I was very happily married and a new mum, when I bumped into the ex. He was overweight, scruffy and not alone. I just smiled, knowing that seeing me happy and fulfilled would surprise him. What I didn’t know until a few years later was that meeting affected him so deeply (how dare I be happy, marry and have children etc) that he went into the nearest pub then drove home, smashed his car and got done for drinking and driving. A dish served cold indeed!

When I found out my ex had died I got in touch with his wife to give my condolences but she was very off. They lived in the States. She knew about me as he told her we had lived together (we hadn’t) and showed her a photo of me. This was something like 30 years ago. It’s not as if was new, so no need to be jealous. He apparently hung himself in their garden. I hadn’t got in touch to cause trouble, I was 21 when I knew him, I’m now 65. She started asking questions about whether we were still in touch etc. I let her believe we were. May the Lord forgive me. You see I was pregnant when he dumped me.

i would never demean myself by getting even with an ex. All that would happen as they would die out on the story of your revenge to explain what a dreadful woman you were and how right he was to leave you. Is that what you want?

It also demonstrates how dependent you still are on his presence in your life to validate your existence.

Just walking away and not seeming to have a care in the world is the best way of getting revenge. It shows your ex justhow unimportant they are and how well you flourish without them.

Sadgrandma

Has anyone ever done anything creative to take revenge on an ex (or perhaps dreamed of doing so)?
I have heard of some wonderful ones like the woman who sewed prawns into the curtain rail before she left or the other one who distributed his vintage wine collection on doorsteps in her village!
I certainly dreamed of doing all sorts of things, mainly to his other woman) when my first husband left but was too much of a coward to carry any out.

My sons ex (thank god) egged his car most nights, stole all his shoe laces before she walked out and posted neon laces back through the door! (they were teenagers at the time)

My hubby made my best friend pregnant, he was my first love, when I appeared on a Ch5 TV show called The Female Orgasm I said on National TV that I did not have my first orgasm with a man until AFTER I was divorced, oh and I made sure all our friends and his family knew I was going to be on TV just so they all knew how crap he was in bed although he fancied himself as the local gigolo. He now has kids from loads of different women, he only ever married two of us, I was his first, but he is alone and single now, and I recently had a FB message from his other wife who was telling me she got genital warts off him because he cannot keep his willy in his pants! poor girl! I should have listened to HIS parents who begged me NOT to marry him the night before the wedding. So yes revenge was sweet, telling tens of thousands of people on TV how rubbish he is in the sack!