Revenge on an ex

Pix5

When I found out my ex had died I got in touch with his wife to give my condolences but she was very off. They lived in the States. She knew about me as he told her we had lived together (we hadn’t) and showed her a photo of me. This was something like 30 years ago. It’s not as if was new, so no need to be jealous. He apparently hung himself in their garden. I hadn’t got in touch to cause trouble, I was 21 when I knew him, I’m now 65. She started asking questions about whether we were still in touch etc. I let her believe we were. May the Lord forgive me. You see I was pregnant when he dumped me.

But why make her think that, she'll go to her grave thinking he was unfaithful, albeit emotionally so.

Yes,went to her work and outed her in front of her colleagues,she was the boss, who were left speechless then I wrote to CEO of her company! I had a 3yr old and an 8month old.Got a letter from her lawyer but don't regret it to this day! And she's still scared of me... my ex hubby's family have never really accepted her although he married her 25 years ago..still together but he's not happy my girls say and she says she's sure he married her for her money! You think???🤣 and it's taken her 25 years to figure that out!!!! 🤣

Wouldn't steep so low as to try revenge tactics.

"Stoop"

Magenta8

^I certainly dreamed of doing all sorts of things, mainly to his other women.^

Of course his other women must share some of the blame as it takes two to tango but I bet he made the first move and it is also likely that he was not honest about already having a partner.

Why some women feel more bitter towards the other woman than their philandering partner always puzzles me. Jealousy is a curious thing.

I think it is because any woman to sets out to get a man already spoken for needs regarding as to blame.

All this "could not help it" is utter rubbish
All this "he would not stray if he was happy" is just an excuse - all relationships go through dull/unhappy phases, and taking advantage is evil

Years ago when my ex husband kept cheating after promising to never do it again I started making him dog food spaghetti bolenaise and some lovely stews and pies with dogfood also and added exlax chocolate to coffee, cakes and so many other things not enough to give him the runs just enough to upset him and because he was often eating with me then popping out to see her and she didn't know about me so was cooking for him too he never figured it out . Petty I know but made me smile xx

Well if that made you happy so be it ...

Not an ex and no actual revenge but a ‘friend’ made a pretence of starting a business venture then left the area with our stake, money we could ill-afford to lose having a young family. Unfortunately it transpired he’d done the same thing to several people locally and even left his own family owing money. I was just pleased to have him out of our life at that time. I did though have a day dream of meeting him sometime in the future when I had half a dozen eggs in my shopping bag …
Now I just think it’s sad that he lost everyone in his life.

I wouldnt.

But what I would like is for his future women to know what they are getting.

Not for revenge, but to protect them.

At least someone significant knows:

It was not my intention to stir things, I just wanted someone neutral to deliver a package for me to him.

When I met her I showed her the formal letter which safeguarded me by Social Services from him in order that she understood why I didn't want to do it myself.

What I didn't know is that she has reasonably regular informal contact with him in an official role.

She sat down absolutely aghast

He'd got her convinced he was a poor nice guy who'd been hurt by me

For several years before I realised what was happening he convinced me that a past relationship had failed because SHE - his former partner was co-ercively abusive.

His mum had thought I was the best thing since sliced bread as I was open, honest and not tarted up...and I'd taken him off her hands, in effect.

and when we did split loads came out. The close friend of his who told me no one ever lent him money as they never got it back.

His brother who told me - afterwards!!!

That he wouldn't let my Ex stay with him as he was an emotional danger to his daughter.

You see, its complicated, as these things often are, by the fact he has serious mental health Problems that he managed to hide form me. His backstory was partly made up but oh so convincing for oh so long - until his problems got so huge it all crashed around me. Police, change locks, safeguarding, a year of abusive WhatsApps.

I didn't prosecute as I wanted to get the divorce through quickly.

But..inside every bully is a coward, isnt there? He knows what I have on him - so I'm not afraid physically, but the backlash emotionally will not be over until more time has passed.

(thank you for listening, it just needed to get out)

Wyllow3

Knowing that he knows you’re thriving and happier without him is the best revenge.

🙏

I've said bits and bobs before on this, but for ages, well many of you saw me on political threads big time but this was burying away inside all that time and better out than in.

How could a strong woman - a feminist like me get trapped like this I ask myself so much.
Ending up with no friends, no social life except online (and he didn't like that, either)

The answer is, he lied, and for a long time I thought, well, its because he's ill etc etc, doesnt know better and so on. But I had an awakening a week ago.

I realised that his lies were conscious, deliberate, consistent, and all planned to create the impression that he did with me: all to get control

Now after the inevitable depression that followed, I have my loving family round me, (tho not local) warm friends at the gym, I chat away at my local Costa and well the politics bit .....remain controversial

but those of you who argued with me on politics little realised...it was keeping me going!!!

In retrospect, I realised it got worse half way through the 11 years because we got married. that old chestnut of "when a bloke gets his knees under the dining table".

Fortunately I never put his name on the house, tho he asked me too, somehow never got around to it (now there's a giveaway) supported him partially financially: when we divorced what saved me staying here (which I have now made my own and love my little house and banished him from it) was that he was due a guaranteed inheritance to off set it.

Yes oh yes Twiglet. (sniffle)

So petty

So many halos on this post. 😂😂😂

When my ex and I broke up after an abusive marriage, having traumatised me and my daughter I was quite hurt when he moved on within a couple of weeks. Don't get me wrong, I didn't want him back but I had waited for him to get his act together for so long, I felt somewhat betrayed. I used to lie awake at night plotting my revenge by putting paint stripper on his brand new car. However, what I realised was that it actually made me feel uncomfortable in my own skin and kept me awake at night because, on top of feeling that I was worthless after the abuse, I was thinking about something that was spiteful. From then on, I put those thoughts behind me and tried to concentrate on the new baby I was carrying along with our future. I felt so much better for it.

It was good to have that future growing inside you.

What is this "so petty business" When someone has taken away my own being?

I just feel ANGRY now actually, which is good.

Wyllow, even strong, feminist women get caught out. I am so glad you have extricated yourself. Best luck for the future.

icanhandthemback

*Wyllow*, even strong, feminist women get caught out. I am so glad you have extricated yourself. Best luck for the future.

Thank you.

Sharing my go to song

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ht2NCrlghS4&list=RDHt2NCrlghS4&start_radio=1

Why would one want to reap revenge on anyone? Nasty.

MadamChairman

Doing anything at all means he has control over you, doing nothing means you are free.

I tend to think along those lines - as to why would I "blow up" at an ex, as doing so imo gives him the idea he is "important" to me and why would I let him think that?

If it's someone else in some other context that's mucking around with my life = they better believe that I do know the phrase "Revenge is a dish best served cold"....and I'm waiting my chance...

Mabon - I think the answer is a sense of fairness. That people shouldnt be able to go in for "bad behaviour" and get away with it. Partly protecting other people. Pretty recently - a man I thought was a sorta combination odd job man and friend tried to steal from me. It was indisputable what he had been up to. I'd given him "benefit of the doubt" about a couple of little things that I thought might possibly have been attempted theft previously. But the third time - I was very very certain - so I think about half this little town knows what he is like by now.....

He got off more lightly than he would have if he'd succeeded in that theft - as we have two police forces here in effect - the official one - and the other one.....

My friend crayoned on her ex’s car all over with red lipstick many years ago . Then she married him then got divorced after he went off with a younger woman who was having his baby . Shouldn’t have got back with him !

FranP

Magenta8

I certainly dreamed of doing all sorts of things, mainly to his other women.

Of course his other women must share some of the blame as it takes two to tango but I bet he made the first move and it is also likely that he was not honest about already having a partner.

Why some women feel more bitter towards the other woman than their philandering partner always puzzles me. Jealousy is a curious thing.

I think it is because any woman to sets out to get a man already spoken for needs regarding as to blame.

All this "could not help it" is utter rubbish
All this "he would not stray if he was happy" is just an excuse - all relationships go through dull/unhappy phases, and taking advantage is evil

"FranP:" I think you are slightly missing the point of what I wrote.

I freely agree that in some cases women do set out to get a man already spoken for. There is nothing the poor man can do to resist the charms of sirens like this.

However, there are also cases where the man pretends to be single. This happened to a relative of mine who was actually engaged to a man who had a wife and children that she knew nothing about. He told her that his job meant that he frequently had to stay away and she only found out the truth after they had been in a relationship for over two years.