Wondering where to turn

So many thanks for all your kind messages which I want you all to know meant SO much to me considering we have never met.
Also to Babs8 and Elaine for adding those lovely flowers.
Some of you kindly suggested about talking to my older son who has always been his father’s boy and who is difficult to connect as he, being a geologist, spends his life tearing around from country to country so when he does get a few weeks off I naturally want him to rest land to be with his family.
That’s the result of bringing them up to be independent!
At least for a few days at the end of the month I am off to Valencia to celebrate one of my brother’s 80th birthday as he lives near Valencia so I will be able to be amongst many of the family although of course minus my two lads.

It wasn't something about the cat that he meant if they were having to euthanise it? It seems a very cruel thing to say to anyone and I'm sorry if he meant it about you. I would certainly try to make contact before you formalise your trip. I agree that maybe your other son could explore it for you. Family dynamics are certainly difficult to negotiate. Here are some for you to cheer you up.

How upsetting for you Cath. It does really seem an extreme thing for your son to say to you, with apparently no explanation.

I hope it turns out to be a misunderstanding, and that your son contacts you again to put things right between you. It’s very stressful and unfair to you to leave things unexplained, whatever the rights or wrongs of the matter.

I hope your son will contact you again and put your mind at rest, whatever the issues are.

I believe you have all heard enough but some asked what conversation we were having.
I arranged to phone because a few days ago Nigel sent me a message mentioning that my favourite cat, their cat that they picked up when working in Doha, has now cancer and is going to be put down tonight. I just wanted to see it before they put the cat to sleep.
I asked how his work was progressing then I got the shock but tried to hide my concern.
What is also upsetting I was in the middle of sorting out dates to visit him and maybe take a cruise up Australia. All this now will have to be put on a hold or if at all.
Thanks a lot for all your replies which I did so appreciate.
Now I notice he has stopped my WhatsApp messages being delivered.

Correction - your son’s brother

Cath9 this is a horrible thing to say no matter what the context. Was he drunk or just sounding off?
Even if the two of you were having an argy bargy this is still really awful.
Would perhaps not call him again but send an email asking why he said this and let him know how shocked and upset you were.
Also as others have said perhaps your brother knows more about this than you do.
In any case all the best
🌹🙏🏾

That must have been very upsetting for you, Cath

Are you on good terms with your other son? If you told him what was said do you think he would look into it for you?

I realise families can be difficult it just seems that being so far apart since 2005 when he immigrated that once dear son of mine is now definitely not at all who we brought up.

That is said to hear.
I dont know what to advise really.

At least with so many saying my English is Double Dutch did bring back a smile!

I won’t say any more about my dear late husband as he has now passed away and he did apologise before he died.
I realise families can be difficult it just seems that being so far apart since 2005 when he immigrated that once dear son of mine is now definitely not at all who we brought up.
What I am trying to understand, who does he mean by the statement WE want uou dead. Is that just his family or my oldest son and his family also.
Thanks all and do excuse an oldie being concerned

Lathyrus3

I’m afraid I couldn’t make any sense at all out of what you’ve written, so is it possible that you didn’t understand what he said either?

Thank goodness I wasn’t the only one not to understand!

Apologies all. I clearly got it wrong! It just seemed such a strange post and although this person is a regular poster, I didn’t recognise the name.
I must take more care and avoid making a prat of myself!

That's awful, in what context did he say it?

I’m afraid I couldn’t make any sense at all out of what you’ve written, so is it possible that you didn’t understand what he said either?

V3ra

Cath9 what a very unpleasant thing to hear your own son say to you ☹️

Hear hear.

This poster is a regular poster.

Any idea why he said this? You say on the phone, did he just come out with it or was it part of a bigger can conversation? Are you sure you didn't miss hear what he said, you post seems a bit disjointed does what you late husband said about your brother have any bearing on what your son said?

No Crosstitchfan Cath9 has posted about her child in NZ before she’s not a scammer
Why on earth would your son say that was he trying to be funny or witty or sonething
I don’t understand the paragraph about your late husband his father and your sons I m afraid cath

Cath9 is a long time poster - I cannot think this is a false post.

It’s an awful thing to hear from a stranger, never mind one’s own son.

Cath9 what a very unpleasant thing to hear your own son say to you ☹️

Hmmmmmm. Another false post, I think. I shall ignore it.