Married for 30 years

It's not all sad.
Thank goodness for the family who urged you to stay down west.
That is where you need to be now.
Imagine if you were totally isolated without the great resource of that support.
To be among people who know you because they see you and care about you is cause for rejoicing.
All the best for 2026.

Reading back what I wrote it seems a bit cold.

I sincerely wish you and your daughters all the best for a happier 2026.

I hope that your ex can resolve at least some of his issues and be able to lead a less traumatic life.

Very sorry nanabird. Glad you have caring daughters. Your dh sounds unwell, but perhaps he also needs a new start. May 2026 bring new hopes and dreams to life for you both x

Thank you all so much for all the things you have said. Sadly I think I'm going to have to face up to the situation and try to move on with my life. I must be grateful for the support I've had from my daughters ( it's affected them too) and my family. Thank you Fallingstar for mentioning the happy 20 years I felt comforted by remembering what we had.

nanabird

Does he drink to excess - has this been a habit for any length of time?

His mental and emotional see-sawing - being seemingly indifferent one minute then sort of caring the next... fits with one of the very common side effects of a damaged liver - Hepatic Encephalopathy. This is basically when the toxins that are normally processed by the liver enter the blood stream and then break the blood-brain barrier and into the brain. This causes multiple effects - one of which is seemingly emotional indifference, combativeness, impulsive behaviour, and a host of other mental and emotional issues.

Loss of interest in appearance and personal hygiene are also part of the effect of Hepatic Encephalopathy.

If his liver is damaged - this just might be the cause... a loving and affectionate partner can change into a cold and unfeeling person.

You say that he came back from the rock concert "exhausted" and seemed "strange" and you appear convinced he has cognitive problems... these, again, are all descriptions of people with Hepatic Encephalopathy.

I've had experience of this myself - so just wanted to put it forward as a possible explanation for his peculiar behaviour.

What you are missing and mourning is the man your husband used to be. He has obviously changed out of all recognition for whatever reason. The man you loved is no more. I know this is harsh but you need to look after yourself and move on.

I am sorry to say that writing "all my love" in a Christmas card means very little as his actions show that he doesn't have much, if any, love left to give you.

What you need now is space from this man and to rebuild your life without him.

apologies for misspelling your name nanabird.

Such a sad OP nanaburd .

You say your husband has been ^uncaring, uninterested and
unsupportive^ of your Parkinson's so I think you should listen to your head.

I am so sorry but you already know the path you have to take, perhaps you both should have taken it in the first place but hindsight is a wonderful thing.
Celebrate the 20 good years you had and now look forward to a different future that will offer you the chance to care for yourself and consider your own well-being.
I wish you the very best