Problems with brother

Thanks, thing is he rarely takes action, too much work involved with that and he knows the family have a low opinion of him. But he is at a low ebb and was so angry about his ex wife when with us he was threatening to do all kinds of things. He was always so good looking when younger, and the only boy, that he was the spoiled rotten by our parents and then able to rely on his looks to get some poor unsuspecting woman to look after him. Now his looks have faded he isn’t so lucky and is very angry and bitter about things, trouble is he won’t change to help himself.

I remember being shocked and saddened when, many years ago, I was told “no good deed goes unpunished “. Unfortunately, time and again this saying has proved to be true .
OP, don’t worry, SS will work out very quickly that your brother is lying. If he tries to apologise so that he can inveigle his way back into your home, please be hard and say no, tough as it may be.

Stand up to your brother - he is freeloading and trying to cause trouble with spreading untruths about you. Rest assured his untruths would soon be found out by your family vouching for you. You are doing an excellent job- above and beyond - with caring for your husband. Glad you are making some time for yourself too.

We did have someone come to the house to help care for him but he became very upset and agitated by this, thankfully the family come and sit with him and a good neighbour he likes, so I can go out occasionally.

I echo what others have said- but in my experience contacting social services may backfire on your brother, so let him do it. He may regret doing it later.

Oh yes we have had adaptations to the home thanks to the OT and we get the higher rate of attendance allowance.
Thank goodness.

How about you contact social services and ask for a carer's assessment.
I presume your husband has had a care needs assessment and is receiving attendance allowance.
Do not be intimidated by this wastrel.
All the best.

As a SW long retired, please don’t worry. Your family will vouch for you.
In fact you could approach social services yourself if you need some help or support and as a carer you are or were entitled to a carers assessment. This allows fir regular time for you to go out shopping, have your hair done, meet a friend or sit in the garden, while your dh is looked after.
You may be entitled to certain benefits too which they would tell you about.

Thanks it is just really upsetting that he would say this. Have since heard that he is no longer with his girlfriend but staying with a cousin. He is too old for couch surfing and seems nobody can put up with him for long. My sister would have never opened the door to him because she knows what he is like. I felt sorry for him, more fool me.

Even if he did report you, which is highly unlikely to happen in my opinion, you have a sister and adult children who will be prepared to state that you asked your brother to leave because he did nothing to help and that you are coping with your husband's care very well.

Please stop worrying about this what is he going to report you for ? Asking an adult to move out of your house ?
He has obviously got the hump because he can no longer freeload on you. Time he sorted out his own living arrangements he is not a child.