I think we are both right, but.....

Stein
No! Autocorrect again. Strain.

I have a hobby, it is leatherwork, and just now I am making leather hair accessories, to sell at a craft fair at Christmas.

Well done, best to be optimistic but, if you keep drinking wine with Stage 4 kidney disease, it could lessen your chances of living longer as Lathyrus and others have said.

Wine does not really help with sleep and will put a Stein on your kidneys.

Have you tried camomile tea, or ask the GP for a mild sedative and some help with a diet which is suitable.

I agree that 1/3 bottle of wine to aid sleep with kidney disease is not a good idea. Your husband sounds controlling, but perhaps is so with good intentions.

I would ask your doctor for a suggested sleep aid if you need one on occasion.

Shelflife

This is all a bit weird !?

I agree. Along with other past posts from fancyflowers

Please tell me which of my other posts you find 'weird.'

I don't lie, I don't exaggerate, so I can't see what you are finding weird about my posts.

Shelflife

This is all a bit weird !?

I agree. Along with other past posts from fancyflowers.

You do know OP that Stage 4 kidney disease is a very very short step to kidney failure and death. And that even a small amount of alcohol could be the final straw for your severely damaged kidneys.

There will be no recovery.

your lifespan will probably not be a long one so you may decide your need for alcohol is worth dying for sooner. I’m not unsympathetic to that point of view. I’m pushing a barrier or two myself but I have evaluated my hastening of death against my enjoyment now.

Have you? You seem to think a glass of wine won’t hurt.

You are very wrong.

A mild sleeping pill is better than wine or any alcohol.

fancyflowers

*OP has complained before that DH “keeps” her Attendance Allowance money, which is horrifying in itself unless OP does not have mental capacity.*

I think you were reading the wrong thread. I don't have attendance allowance and my mental capacity is fine

My apologies , I must have confused you with somebody else.
🙏sorry

It sounds infuriating but then couples all have their own ways of bumbling along, I couldn’t stand it for a minute though.
Sharing an email is a definite no no. And the wine drinking sounds strange. As a recovering alcoholic I would worry about the OH squirrelling bottles away in his room and the OP thinking it helps her sleep despite having serious kidney problems. I have restless legs, there is a thread about it on the health forum and don’t think anyone has recommended drinking wine.
To the OP I say - it’s your life, spend your money how you like and have a serious word with your OH if he grumbles. But knock the wine thing on the head, there are other ways to get to sleep, and am wondering if the whole getting to sleep thing is a bit of a red herring.

How about yo keep the wine in your bedroom and he has to ask you! Please do not put up with this madness any longer.

OP has complained before that DH “keeps” her Attendance Allowance money, which is horrifying in itself unless OP does not have mental capacity.

I think you were reading the wrong thread. I don't have attendance allowance and my mental capacity is fine

petra

Skynnylynny

When I need to get to sleep and can’t, I use a trick that works. Count backwards in your head slowly from 1000. I have never got to 899. I think it works because you have to concentrate on the numbers and so you can’t have other thoughts on your mind.

Skynnylynny
It’s not a trick it’s training your brain.
I went to a sleep therapist many years ago and this is a method recommended.
The theory is, that, the brain learns, ah, this is where I go to sleep.
It doesn’t necessarily have to be numbers, it can be anything but that anything has to be consistent.
When people say counting sheep works, it’s not the sheep it’s the consistency.

That sounds a good idea if you have 500 sheep counting them backwards would take much more concentration I will try that.

A couple of things for OP to take on board
Your wine consumption (both DH’s and your own) raises red flags.
Wine should not be mixed with medication and given your medical issues, presumably you are on some.
Wine does not aid sleep. It may make you nod off but it is detrimental to restful sleep.
Wine will dehydrate you - one of the commonest causes of night cramps
Hoarding wine in a bedroom and having to “ask” for it, then drinking 1/3 of a bottle is horrifying on so many levels. Coercive control?
And then there’s the controlling element of the spending.
OP has complained before that DH “keeps” her Attendance Allowance money, which is horrifying in itself unless OP does not have mental capacity.
I think OP and her DH need help with their drinking and some sort of relationship counselling.
This is an alarming situation in so many ways.

Can't you just order your own wine to be delivered?

Skynnylynny

When I need to get to sleep and can’t, I use a trick that works. Count backwards in your head slowly from 1000. I have never got to 899. I think it works because you have to concentrate on the numbers and so you can’t have other thoughts on your mind.

Skynnylynny
It’s not a trick it’s training your brain.
I went to a sleep therapist many years ago and this is a method recommended.
The theory is, that, the brain learns, ah, this is where I go to sleep.
It doesn’t necessarily have to be numbers, it can be anything but that anything has to be consistent.
When people say counting sheep works, it’s not the sheep it’s the consistency.

Well that’s easy have your own email account This sounds so alien to me like you’re living a 18th century life or living with the Amish or something (except they don’t drink alcohol)
Do you not talk ?
Creeping into his bedroom to get a bottle of wine to help you sleep, whilst you have kidney disease, sounds way out of any imagination of mine
* Set up your own email address
* use an independent computer, iPad, phone
* Buy your own wine
* Look at other ways to help your cramp/ restless legs/sleeplessness
* talk to each other with honestly

By the way anyone getting cramp, my grandson has given me some salt tablets from Hand B he uses them when running and they work like magic I ve had such a bad time with cramp, in weird and wonderful places but as soon as I start sucking one of those it goes like magic. They are called salt stick and come in a green packet

And change your email address on Amazon.

If you do not want your husband to access your Natwest bank account, you can go to your online banking and change your pin number and password under ‘Security’.

It is unreasonable of your husband, to allow himself to spend a large amount on his booze since he drinks a bottle of wine everyday and yet monitor all your spending.

We share the same email address, so Amazon notifications can be read by both of us.

I'm missing a lot!

Sorryfancyflowers, I don’t really understand how your DH can see your Amazon purchases if you are buying them on your own personal Amazon account - am I missing something?

Sadgrandma

It sounds to me as if your DH is worried about your drinking because of your kidney disease and, in a clumsy way, is trying to protect you from yourself.

However, you say that he drinks a bottle a day which surely is excessive and not good for his health either. Perhaps you both need to consider cutting back and
for you look for other things to help you sleep.
As for your spending, is it possible for you to open your own bank account so that he doesn’t get to see what you are spending and keep the joint account for good and household shopping?

Thank you for your suggestion. I do have a separate bank account. We have a joint account with HSBC and I have an account with NatWest.
But if I buy on Amazon, using my NatWest account, he would still see what I was buying and would still get upset that I was spending.

Shelflife

fancy flowers perhaps ' weird ' was a poor choice of word. What I mean is I find it hard to understand. If you have stage 4 kidney disease I can understand why he keeps the wine in his bedroom, he drinks a bottle a day !? All things being equal you should not need his permission before having a glass or two of wine! On the other hand if drinking wine is detrimental to your health is he doing you a favour ?

Yes, it's a difficult choice. From my perspective, I want the wine as it relaxes me.
From DH's perspective, he wants to protect me. I am 73 and DH is 79. He is in much better health than I am, and I know (although this is never actually said) that he is afraid of me dying. So yes, he is doing me a favour, but it's a favour that I slightly resent.

It sounds to me as if your DH is worried about your drinking because of your kidney disease and, in a clumsy way, is trying to protect you from yourself.

However, you say that he drinks a bottle a day which surely is excessive and not good for his health either. Perhaps you both need to consider cutting back and
for you look for other things to help you sleep.
As for your spending, is it possible for you to open your own bank account so that he doesn’t get to see what you are spending and keep the joint account for good and household shopping?

fancy flowers perhaps ' weird ' was a poor choice of word. What I mean is I find it hard to understand. If you have stage 4 kidney disease I can understand why he keeps the wine in his bedroom, he drinks a bottle a day !? All things being equal you should not need his permission before having a glass or two of wine! On the other hand if drinking wine is detrimental to your health is he doing you a favour ?