The joys of dating

Play ‘hard to get’ …. that’s the way, says she who hasn’t dated since her divorce 20+ years ago 😂

butterandjam

Jojo1950

Leave it is my advise. He is obviously still looking.

Did ANYONE recognise "The ONE" at first meeting?

I certainly didn't. For the first year I knew DH he was the most annoying idiot / idiotic annoyance I'd ever met .

My second long-term relationship began with me seeing him approaching from a distance and thinking, ‘Ah well, better luck next time.”

The conversation was hard work. He had nothing to say for himself and snubbed me a couple of times when I made polite enquiries to give him something to talk about.

I was definitely open to other dates.

I’m quite surprised at the number of people who think one date equals some kind of commitment.

petra

Well, that's certainly a dampener!!

I woukd nit make further contact. Leave it to him to get back to you. Do be aware there are a lot of "lovely" people on those sites, being lovely to a lot of people at the same time.

That’s very sad but not helpful unless it was his ghost still online

Lots of men on dating websites are not looking for a relationship but enjoy one off dates, with lots of different women. Some want to message with women and not even meet them. If a man wants you, he will pursue you. If he doesn't, you pursuing him, won't change that. This man might already be in a relationship. He might breadcrumb you. That is, get in touch again in time, just enough to keep you hanging on, but never commit. Don't contact him again yourself. If he is as enthusiastic about you as you are about him, he will pursue you. If not, chalk it up. Don't waste your time and emotions. This is par for the course.

Crikey, seems to me you haven't given him much of a chance to get back to you. Did you expect an immediate response/invitation? He could be new to dating too and not want to appear too keen or needy, perhaps he's nervous. For all you know he could have been on the site closing down conversations with others or whatever. Even if he was looking for new contacts so what? He's seen you just the once he can't be expected to throw all in and concentrate solely on you. I've never been on a dating site but isn't the point of them to meet several people, get to know them and then hopefully eventually find a match? I think you might be guilty of being way too needy.

Good heavens, don’t come across as looking desperate, it’s the biggest turn off ever!
I met my husband online about 17 years ago and soon realised you can’t really get to know each other after only one date.
Some men are good at pretending to be what they think you want them to be, and others, like my husband, was just himself.
Initially I wasn’t sure about him to be honest and saw a couple of others after meeting him, but then realised that he was honest and genuine and we have been happy ever since.
Don’t try and rush it, if he’s interested he’ll contact you.

I would never chase anyone, but then I often believe the best relationships are born out of friendship first. Have you tried a mixed friendship group, that way you can get to know people without the pressure or expectations that comes with the term “date”. I do hope you have lots of fun whilst on your quest.

I agree with others, don't chase or message him. If he's keen/interested, he will get in touch. It's disappointing, I know - you clearly liked him - and it may still all work out but if you're too keen (esp. if you're keener than him) you'll end up getting hurt. Keep looking (as he's clearly doing!) - keep your options open! A great book, if you haven't already read it, is 'The Rules' which I followed to the letter, when I met a man who turned out to the be 'the one' and we've been happily together and married for many years. The Rules is a little 'old fashioned' in some respects but it works on the principle that if you're too available, men lose interest very quickly! Good luck, keep us posted

He’s dating other women, not committing as yet. You need to do the same!

Nurseundercover

I would never chase anyone, but then I often believe the best relationships are born out of friendship first. Have you tried a mixed friendship group, that way you can get to know people without the pressure or expectations that comes with the term “date”. I do hope you have lots of fun whilst on your quest.

excellent advice

Don't ever give any details out about yourself such as email address or even which district you live in to complete strangers.

Too many scammers about in this day and age. Trust no one.

Oh no don’t contact him you will look very desperate a shame you gave him your number I very much doubt if he’s on site looking for an exclusive relationship a rare breed to find, let alone the first time, he ll be chancing his arm with lots of different ladies
Must say had my share of good and bad dates and couldn’t be bothered now it has been tried, but no thanks not interested.

Ladies- thank you for all your messages!
The thing is it doesn’t happen very often that you meet someone online who you actually like as a person.
But I knew that he was someone different, a nice and honest and genuine guy..
And I am glad I just waited as he has invited me for lunch at a local pub on Tuesday to chat some more so I am delighted!

It was just one date. And not that long ago.
Relax, and enjoy your 'adventure'.

petra, my goodness.

Listen to Grandbatty

Grandmabatty even!

Fairy Snuff!

OldFrill

If someone is in a relationship it's easier to keep communications online, if he hasn't rung I'd be suspicious.
If he's interested he'll act, if he's not he's no loss. I'd walk away.

Keep all communication on the site. Also its possible that you came across as desperate giving him your phone number (sorry). Did he give you his number?

Do nothing.
And get back on the dating site.
Do not chase.

Agree,, Let him contact you,

May I ask what dating site ladies use?

Definitely not a good idea to give any personal details onto a dating site. There are scammers, liars but also genuine people on there. It is not usual for people to continue online after meeting someone. They are making the most of their subscription fee and may have to respond to other messages. It is not necessarily a reflection of how they see you.

Hmm. Call me cynical, but he left some time before getting in touch. He could be:
Genuine
Breadcrumbs you. Hence the delay so you will be only too happy to meet him
Other option fell through.
Only you will know. Do not rush in too quickly. If he pushes for more and won't take no for an answer, that's a red flag.
I said I was cynical