The joys of dating

Way back in the 1970s my parents divorced and my singleton dad found my stepmum in the lonely hearts columns in the local newspaper. Doesn’t that seem potentially dangerous now? I used to worry about him but he found us a lovely stepmum.

appletree21

OldFrill

If someone is in a relationship it's easier to keep communications online, if he hasn't rung I'd be suspicious.
If he's interested he'll act, if he's not he's no loss. I'd walk away.

Keep all communication on the site. Also its possible that you came across as desperate giving him your phone number (sorry). Did he give you his number?

Did he give you his number

No, as I'm not the OP.

Moving communication off the site makes it easier to guage if a person is genuine.

I haven't been on a dating site for some years now. I don't think you should give out your phone number so early on. The dating sites give a lot of good advice on the do's and don'ts and this is for your safety. Please don't be disheartened that he has not got back to you. Some men do not like the woman making the first move. I also think there are some sites that blacken out phone numbers so he may not have access to it anyway.

Lathyrus3

You’ve only had one date with him. I don’t see why he can’t be arranging to meet up with others too. It’s a dating website. For dating.

I expect he prefers to connect through the website until he has met people several times. I think you would be well advised to do the same rather than handing out your contact details to people you hardly know.

It might even be that he has had a bad experience previously with harassment and that your eagerness to exchange numbers and make direct contact has made him take a step back.

I think you’ve been clear you would like to meet again. He’ll respond if he wants.

100% this

He has responded.
They are going out for lunch on Tuesday next week.

Why don’t grans read current messages?🙄

Just take your time - meanwhile enjoy his company. I wish you well

Wonder how a needy lady will come across at her lunch date? All coy and demure or confident and pushy. Poor old chap!

Maybe he felt that, after one date, it was too soon to be exchanging personal numbers and it scared him a bit. Best to leave it and see if he does contact you. If not chalk it down to experience. Plenty more fish out there.

Readandcook But I knew that he was someone different, a nice and honest and genuine guy..

I hope you have a lovely second date Readandcook but it’s very early days so tread carefully. You are hoping he is an honest and genuine guy but it’s just not possible to know that from one meet up.

Read and cook well done for being proactive and trying this. After I was widowed I did too. But no man I met could match my DH so it was the wrong time. Looking back I met some good men on the site but I just treated then it as a distraction.
Keep a very open mind, be friendly but hold back on giving your number in future until you've had a few nice meet-ups with them and I would say do not contact him now - if he's interested he will be in touch. Word of warning - many men do treat this as a free pool (of available women) to dip in. I'd only go on sites with a fee to pay.

Reported.

Readandcook - Slow down. You're overthinking this. One meet up and you're worried because he's online? Exclusivity in an online dating scenario rarely comes about after one meeting. As a therapist I regularly have clients who are seeking new relationships via online dating apps. Being 'clingy' after one date seems to put most people off so take a step back.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

^ no one click on the link it is possibly a nasty virus,
read the link title!
reported anyway as has Allira

SORES

^ no one click on the link it is possibly a nasty virus,
read the link title!
reported anyway as has Allira

I've reported it twice now!!

GNHQ, where are you?

Nicolenet

Wonder how a needy lady will come across at her lunch date? All coy and demure or confident and pushy. Poor old chap!

None of those, you are trying to find out whether he is someone you can live with, and he you, be yourself, there is a lot to find out about a new partner if you've met for the first time.
It's not an inquisition chat about holidays, hobbies, his family, children, pets, food likes and dislikes. (avoid any talk about ex partners) make sure it's a 2 way chat, don't be afraid to say what you like.

The first date with my wife she changed the date, instead of Dinner it was the Theatre, both following dates were Houses and Gardens, she wasn't going to get tangled with a man that didn't match her likes and dislikes.

It’s completely understandable to feel disappointed, especially after such a positive first meeting. However, a short delay in replying doesn’t always mean he’s not interested—he may just be busy or taking things slowly. The best approach is to give it a little space for now, and if you don’t hear from him in a day or two, send a light, friendly follow-up message. This shows interest without putting pressure on him. If he’s genuinely interested, he’ll respond—if not, his lack of effort will give you your answer.

hollysteers

Why don’t grans read current messages?🙄

Because they can’t be arsed. They just want to add their 2 pence worth.
If they were really interested in the OP they would read all the responses.

Oh dear, I’ve just read back on this thread and realise that Readandcook posted on 14/3 that he had got back to her and they have another date:

“ Readandcook
Ladies- thank you for all your messages!
The thing is it doesn’t happen very often that you meet someone online who you actually like as a person.
But I knew that he was someone different, a nice and honest and genuine guy..
And I am glad I just waited as he has invited me for lunch at a local pub on Tuesday to chat some more so I am delighted!”

So I’m also guilty for not seeing this previously and putting my two pence worth in! Apologies.

You don’t state your age or the age of the gentleman in question, I only say this as it could be telling of both of your attitudes towards dating.
If I were you I’d leave the ball in his court as you have already said you would like to see him again and contacted him since the date, in my opinion if you contact him again you will appear needy or desperate and I don’t think men like that.
If you don’t hear from him don’t take it to heart maybe he just didn’t think you clicked as much as you did and there’s nothing wrong with that, so don’t be put off meeting up with someone else.

I hope it goes/went well for you.

Reported.

Lathyrus3

You’ve only had one date with him. I don’t see why he can’t be arranging to meet up with others too. It’s a dating website. For dating.

I expect he prefers to connect through the website until he has met people several times. I think you would be well advised to do the same rather than handing out your contact details to people you hardly know.

It might even be that he has had a bad experience previously with harassment and that your eagerness to exchange numbers and make direct contact has made him take a step back.

I think you’ve been clear you would like to meet again. He’ll respond if he wants.

I so agree