Son in laws behaviour on Mothers day of all days

I'm so sorry that your daughter disrespects you in that way, jenpax, that must be so hurtful. To not even give you a birthday card, a greeting, or mother's day card is unforgivable, you must be very placid not to question it. I hope you enjoyed your birthday meal with your grandsons and at least you have two other daughters who care about you 💐

crazyH

I got a Card and flowers from my son and daughter-in-law. Daughter-in-law’s mother was treated to lunch today at the Ivy. How do I know ? They added photos on our WhatsApp group.
Do I care ? Hmm.. No.. Because I had a lovely steak lunch at home with my daughter and granddaughter. And I cooked. The steak was lovely and they enjoyed it. Also, it was nice to have a catch-up with my beautiful 23 year old granddaughter. 😍

Maybe MIL was footing the bill. I took my 3 grandsons out for my birthday (which was on Saturday) they are 15,8 and 7 and daughter (their mum) did not attend, nor contribute to the meal costs which were quite expensive as they eat like gannets😂 She didn’t offer a happy birthday greeting nor purchased a card or gift, and snap with Mothers Day (my two older girls were lovely though)
I do not expect much from my birthday or Mothers Day from her, that way I cannot be disappointed.

Some people have no social graces.
All you can tell yourself is that he's your daughter's choice, and the father of your granddaughter.
You don't have to like him, just don't fall out with him.

I agree, very ignorant

The O/P was working, presumably she couldnt have asked them in?

I'd have been a bit upset, if he normally would greet you*

but it would depend what he is normally like*. And factored in a possible row or tension between them?

I got a WhatsApp and brief texts from them both. As it always is. I don't expect more.

Being called on in person would be an enormous plus.

I got a Card and flowers from my son and daughter-in-law. Daughter-in-law’s mother was treated to lunch today at the Ivy. How do I know ? They added photos on our WhatsApp group.
Do I care ? Hmm.. No.. Because I had a lovely steak lunch at home with my daughter and granddaughter. And I cooked. The steak was lovely and they enjoyed it. Also, it was nice to have a catch-up with my beautiful 23 year old granddaughter. 😍

No excuses. I'd call him ignorant.

Well, it was not polite, but you saw your daughter and had a chat with her, which is far more important. Ignore him.

Perhaps to have invited them all in would have been nice. Cup of tea and a chat rather than stand on the doorstep. Maybe if he thought your welcome was a bit chilly towards your daughter, he was doing the same.

I don’t think this would have bothered me too much I d have been concentrating on my daughter on the doorstep and not think twice about him in the car, but then I m prettying easy going on things like that

But isn't this typical of modern behaviour? I know so many people who behave like this including family who visit. I just ignore them now. If they want anything or to talk to me they have to make the effort.

He may just be a self-centred person and not much like you. If what happened today was typical of his behaviour, I would have ignored it and just shrugged it off. If it was unusual I would have asked DD what was wrong with him, and she may well have told you. I think either way I would have walked to the car knocked on his window and exchanged a few words with him, just because I would know it would irritate him.

I do not have a SiL only a Dil, so have little experience of this kind of situation.

I think I would be a bit upset about this, simply acknowledging you with a quick wave would be the done thing. But there is never any rhyme or reason for some people’s lack of good manners, and he probably doesn’t even realise how you feel, could have been brought up this way.
I had a football mad uncle who when visiting with my auntie would sit in the car the whole time listening to the footy on the radio because he knew my dad hated the game and so wouldn’t have it on the telly.
My auntie would even take his plate of food out to him in the car laughing about football mad men. My mum and dad always complained about this afterwards but tolerated it because of my auntie.
Am afraid some people just don’t have many social graces.

Perhaps he is shy and unsure, so didn't want to intrude on the happiness with you DD and DGD.
Some people, often male, use their phones to hide behind in company when they lack confidence.

Maybe he thought it best for you and your daughter to have time alone on Mother’s Day. I know years ago I drove to my daughters on her birthday and my partner insisted on coming with me and I really just wanted to spend some time alone with her. It really annoyed me. Going off at a tangent here but since having children of his own my son never bothers to give me a Mother’s Day card. The first year it happened I cried all day but now I’m resigned to it and have to pretend to him that I don’t mind . He’s always been thoughtful in other ways and I don’t understand it.

Don’t let it upset you, he’s not your son, if he makes your daughter happy just ignore him!

I’d be inclined to invite your daughter & GC in for a cuppa and leave him in the car!

It's very rude not to simply put his hand up to you, with a smile, to acknowledge you. Some people are so ignorant nowadays, it frustrates me so much. Good manners have gone out of the window. Your daughter probably felt embarrassed, I hope she said something to him when she got back in the car. You're worth more than that, don't let it spoil your mother's day, I feel sorry for his own mother, he's probably like that with her too 🙄. Have some more flowers 💐 x

Well he does sound thoughtless - some people are - but at least your gd doesn’t take after him. That’s something to be thankful for. Two people were thoughtful, don’t even think about the other one.

I must say, I would not have noticed, my focus would be on the daughter bringing gifts on what is now an important day for her as well.

I’d have been a bit hurt too ceejayjay though I’m pretty sure my SiL wouldn’t have been so rude (I hope!). If he had been I think DD would have had something to say about it! 😂

To be honest, it wouldn't bother me at all. The main thing is that my daughter is happy with him. At least your daughter is invested in you and that is the most important person in the equation.

What is your relationship with him like on non-Mothers Days?

I would have shouted a loud hello to him. I am sure he would have looked up then. He probably just didn’t think,

Oreo

You aren’t his Mother so I can understand this, he dropped his wife there to give you presents, you are her Mother.
It wouldn’t bother me at all.

wasnt expecting a mothers day gesture from my SIL, just not to have been ignored would of been enough. Maybe a smile or wave through the car window

and yes he may of been messaging his own mum on mothers day but can still look up and acknowledge others