the Contrarian

How have I^ cut across, diminished, problem solved, conversation ended, headache?^

I have not diminished and dismissed the problem, certainly not ended the conversation. I was a bit discombobobulated by the noun you used to describe this person, because it was not a definition I was familiar with.

I agree you have a problem dealing with someone as you describe. But the difficulty is , on the other side, that some people think that a discussion consists of people who agree with each other discussing a topic, and if someone disagrees or puts forward an alternative view, this is seen as a personally hostile act, when all that person is doing is saying 'I think differently to you, this is what I think'. What follows should be a civilised exchange of views, followed by an agreement to differ.

What I hate is people who state their opinion consider it the only valid opinion and shut the conversation down the moment anyone dares to uestion their opinion

Yes. My daughter!

M0nica

I have been described as a contrarian, but the people who use it do not see it as being as the OP describes.

My definition of it is one of those given in a dictionary opposing or rejecting popular opinion or current practice. Nothing said about 'it is cut across, diminished, problem solved, conversation ended'. Surely that is something else entirely. Bullying, treating someone with contempt, arrogance, but not contrarianism

In any discussion I almost always end up looking at the topic from the other side, I do it on GN, but I do not want to diminish the other persons view, nor give the definitive solution to the problem and certainly not end the conversation.

On the contrary, having people putting different views, or putting a different view when every one else is in agreement, both leading to discussion and exchange of views is the very essence of aa good discussion.

Aggrieved Contrarian.

YOU! are my sister and I claim my £5.00

Anyone can be contrary! It's a choice, surely?

I have been described as a contrarian, but the people who use it do not see it as being as the OP describes.

My definition of it is one of those given in a dictionary opposing or rejecting popular opinion or current practice. Nothing said about 'it is cut across, diminished, problem solved, conversation ended'. Surely that is something else entirely. Bullying, treating someone with contempt, arrogance, but not contrarianism

In any discussion I almost always end up looking at the topic from the other side, I do it on GN, but I do not want to diminish the other persons view, nor give the definitive solution to the problem and certainly not end the conversation.

On the contrary, having people putting different views, or putting a different view when every one else is in agreement, both leading to discussion and exchange of views is the very essence of aa good discussion.

Aggrieved Contrarian.

Yes and I divorced him. The process was horrendous but life then changed for the better and you learn forever the early warning signs.

Have you looked up the term narcissist and their traits you might find it enlightening and find some other traits as well. Or you might be lucky and dismiss the idea.

this is my sister
who repeatedly tells me how intelligent she is
despite her living an alien lifestyle funded by her ex husband
from 35years ago
who is self described vain, and shallow, critical, comments on my life and my AC, tells me where furniture should go and offered to ‘fix me up’ with a gone to seed discarded boyfriend.
This is what nappens when you weaken and soft neartedly allow a destructive self absorbed toxic monster into your previously happy life.

We meet quite often 🙄

My older sister.

My brother. We rarely meet