the Contrarian

I am accustomed, especially in childhood, to being described as a 'contrarian' 'always taking the opposite view, just to be awkward' are both comments I am very familiar with.

I am sorry Soozikinzi but having heard one opinion i will often put forward an opposing view. mainly because the first opinion is on a subject I have never given much thought to, so I immediately do so, by putting forward the opposing view and seeing how it fares.

Obviously, if it is a subject is one I have already had reason to think about and I am in agreement with the person putting it forward, I will agree with them.

I think attitudes like this are sometimes instinctive, almost genetic. We are a neurally diverse family and I think I am very like my maternal grandmother, who died when I was 14. DD is the same. Even her teachers commented that whenever there was a discussion in class she was almost always arguing the minority view.

I do not think it coincidental that she works in banking, in business resiliance, where she is paid to find all the flaws in the company's security systems, not just software weaknesses, but managerial and systematic thinking processes. I understand she is very good at it!

I agree with what M0nica writes on this thread, and like her I just state my own opinion and don’t worry if it doesn’t fit with what lots of others think.To do that would just be a sheep.And this is quite different to what SORES describes, that kind of behaviour comes with having some sort of personal relationship be it a sister/ friend/colleague who are always out to put one over on you where they can.

Absolutely, Soozikinzi; their aim is not a debate to find a solution in response to a question or proposition, but point-scoring and undermining what they regard as the opposition.

A contrarian isnt a person with a different opinion its a person who deliberately takes the opposing opinion having heard your opinion . Thats a different thing alotogether . They just cant agree and go along with what the other says . They would see agreement as weak. Its very annoying. Its a personality disorder really .

Debates happen frequently in every day life, far beyond Higher Education.

Debate frequently happens on discussion forums like Mumsnet, Tik Tok, X - at the dinner table, in the work place, within personal relationships etc etc.

As long as debate is respectful and not toxic there is no reason Gransnet posters need miss out on the fun. No poster is forced to join in any debate if they have no interest.

I am surprised the Tutor did not intervene. Challenging and defending different views is a vital part of Higher Education.

M0nica On the contrary, having people putting different views, or putting a different view when every one else is in agreement, both leading to discussion and exchange of views is the very essence of aa good discussion.

M0nica, I see this as being an enabler rather than a contrarian. Someone willing to state a different view allows others to think about their own stance more deeply and with greater clarity.

I have met a contrarian in the sense of the OP’s experience and have no wish to do so again. She blighted an expensive post grad course I was taking. In the end a group of us talked over her and she eventually ‘flounced’. Not very professional of us, and we weren’t proud, just desperate not to waste our time and money.

petra

Calendargirl

Reported.

What for. 🤷‍♀️

A post by Jessicabrown, which HQ have deleted.

She had made the same spam post on about 14 threads, all of which I reported and they have now gone.

Calendargirl

Reported.

What for. 🤷‍♀️

I echo Galaxy 11.04 regarding M0nica's posts.

Gransnet is a forum where alternative view points are positively welcomed as long as respectful and fair. I enjoy posters putting forward alternative view points that further open up discussion- and do not think they should instead be directed to "an organised debate'.

Debate on Gransnet is interesting and welcome. It would be to Gransnet's detriment, imho if it becomes a forum merely where posters in sequence just post their opinion on a topic without any actual debate.

Monica is one of the most interesting posters on this forum. I have also never seen her indulge in personal attacks, as far as I am aware she is fair and balanced in her responses.

Expressing one's own opinion which differs is fine; presenting an alternate opinion simply to provoke argument discussion is best reserved for an organised debate.

I have met with Monica on several occasions and I can say that besides holding strong opinions she is also a listener. She hears the other point of view and is able and willing to have a fair discussion.

What does it mean when someone calls you a contrarian?
A contrarian is someone who habitually opposes or disagrees with the views or opinions of others, often for the sake of being contrary rather than out of genuine belief.
They tend to challenge consensus, take opposing positions, and can be driven by a need for control or superiority in conversation.

The second sentence would describe my ex-father in-law , a clever man who considered most of the population his inferiors and delighted in challenging the most simple of opinions in an attempt to prove his intellectual superiority.

Needless to say, he was frequently defeated as he had insufficient subject knowledge or personal conviction to support his expressed opinions..

It depends on context. If it is in the family or social group and it happens all the time, every time - then a big yes to the contrarian. The leader of the WI group I have just left never has a good word to say about anything. She is the character from Harry Enfield 'You don't want to do it that way....'. She is a most unpleasant person to spend time with as she just demeans and demolishes what other people say. I also belong to a group of retired professionals and when we have a discussion, different people put forward different perspectives in a respectful way and we try to have a 360 degree discussion which is quite enlightening. It depends. I tend to steer clear of full time contrarians as you will never come to a green branch.

Reported.

I think playing Devils Advocate is very useful in opening up disscusions or broadening viewpoints, but as I see it a contrarian simply disagrees with everything as a matter of principle. Which is very different from well rounded argument and civilised debate

SORES has to put up with a sister who belittles her by the sound of it, which is more than being contrary.
She won’t change, and while it’s annoying there’s not much to be done about it bar seeing her less often.
As for GN it would be an echo chamber of nodding dogs if we all were to agree on everything.😄

If we disagree we might be accused of being Contrarians!

I don’t necessarily believe it’s always a bad trait.

M0nica

But surely if someone opens a thread and makes statements like the OP, they are looking for opinions and discussion on the topic, which means accepting that one or more people will disagree with the proposition, or at least challenge it.

If the OP only wants the opinions of people who agree with her, she should say so.

She could just have a conversation with herself in the mirror!

M0nica

But surely if someone opens a thread and makes statements like the OP, they are looking for opinions and discussion on the topic, which means accepting that one or more people will disagree with the proposition, or at least challenge it.

If the OP only wants the opinions of people who agree with her, she should say so.

Indeed.

But surely if someone opens a thread and makes statements like the OP, they are looking for opinions and discussion on the topic, which means accepting that one or more people will disagree with the proposition, or at least challenge it.

If the OP only wants the opinions of people who agree with her, she should say so.

Sores, time you disranced for a while,

M0nica

How have I^ cut across, diminished, problem solved, conversation ended, headache?^

I have not diminished and dismissed the problem, certainly not ended the conversation. I was a bit discombobobulated by the noun you used to describe this person, because it was not a definition I was familiar with.

I agree you have a problem dealing with someone as you describe. But the difficulty is , on the other side, that some people think that a discussion consists of people who agree with each other discussing a topic, and if someone disagrees or puts forward an alternative view, this is seen as a personally hostile act, when all that person is doing is saying 'I think differently to you, this is what I think'. What follows should be a civilised exchange of views, followed by an agreement to differ.

What I hate is people who state their opinion consider it the only valid opinion and shut the conversation down the moment anyone dares to uestion their opinion

No, you haven't not been a contrarian. This thread.

You do hold strong opinions. We all do. And??