No one to share things with

Nannysue you don’t come across as needy, just lonely x

sixandahalf

I can't understand who a person makes themselves slightly vulnerable by saying they are struggling and then is told to "join things" or about a woman who is living life to the full.

For what it's worth NannySue, siblings aren't all they are cracked up to be.

It's that elusive middle ground isn't it? Some light friends who actually listen to you and connect with you?

Some of us do this, whilst showing empathy, to illustrate it is possible to build a new and different life, however hard it seems, I think it’s meant as encouragement, that’s exactly why I did this

I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way.

A very dear friend of mine lost her only sibling last February, suddenly from a heart attack at 65, she was then 66.

She’s lived alone for many many years in South of France.

She been married twice and had many gentlemen callers but never had any children.

She has no relatives left alive now, but is very comfortable and lives life as best she can.

She had very serious bowel cancer 14 years ago and remains as fit as possible.

We are in touch fairly regularly after a long break (my choice) and just sometimes I’ll get a plaintive text requesting a virtual hug, she undoubtedly has dark dark times but most of the time she tries extraordinarily hard to count her blessings.

She dearly wanted children, had many tries at IVF and a natural pregnancy, all ended in early miscarriages, this doesn’t stop her ever asking after our children and requesting photos.

Life is tough and we all need to do our very best to see a glass half full and count our blessings, which at times is incredibly hard.

I wish you well

I can't understand who a person makes themselves slightly vulnerable by saying they are struggling and then is told to "join things" or about a woman who is living life to the full.

For what it's worth NannySue, siblings aren't all they are cracked up to be.

It's that elusive middle ground isn't it? Some light friends who actually listen to you and connect with you?

Sorry typo correction- NannySue45 not "M".

MannySue45- Have you thought of joining your local U3A group? Within that there will be various outings and group activities to join- e.g ours has dancing, foreign language, book, lunch, theatre, walking groups etc etc.

Each group will have its members that enjoy that activity. Find one where the topic of conversation is not focussed on discussion of children- e.g. a book group will focus on the subject matter of the book and conversations will flow from that.

No one has a perfect life and comparisons can lead to heart ache. Everyone is unique and has something to offer when you get to know theie qualities as a person- rather than by how many children they have, how often they see each other compared to yourself etc.

I have made some wonderful friends through my U3A membership.

Thank you! 🤩

I can understand how you feel.
Firstly do realise that not many people do things with siblings. I have a sibling and we rarely meet. It’s common.
Many children move away so make sure contact is maintained regularly. Make sure you establish a routine when it comes to messaging, phoning or visiting. Then there is always something to look forward to. And don’t be afraid to let them know you love and miss them.
As for friends, not everyone has the perfect life they would lead you to believe.
As for your DH, I don’t think men feel the same as we do. They can be hard to talk to and often just want to find practical solutions.
Your son is unpredictable at the moment but this may change. Perhaps he is not yet settled.
It seems you have a good family who are still finding their own paths. Anything could change. I speak from experience. Once I was in despair and depressed regarding my family but things have improved in my life and I didn’t see it coming. I am sure things will work out for you if you are patient.

I spoke to a friend on the phone today. She lost her only sibling many years ago, married and lost her DH to cancer. Both her parents are gone. She has no one.
Yet, she told me today she has never felt happier. She has finished work and fills her days with all kinds of social activities- she goes out every single day.
She often goes on cruises by herself and has just booked another one- she has joined a local womens group who are organising a group holiday to Spain in the summer.
It was a real pleasure to chat to her today and tell her she looks and sounds great.
I don't know why I'm telling you this except maybe to say you aren't on your own.