Wife does not want sex.

I thought this myself- but I agree it could also be a fake post.

Unless the OP sorts this out by telling the wife all that’s gone wrong, an honest conversation between the two of them, then nothing will change.

Any posts could be fake.
It isn't lurid or gratuitous in any way.
If it's any consolation, there could be many people who never post, but get great enjoyment reading about women's shoes.

Allira

BlueBelle

Do we know it’s a gentleman !! Couldn’t a woman have a wife ?
Would a man call himself a Norfolknun surely it would be norfolkmonk

Good thinking, Miss Marple!

I think he’s being nasty.
Ie, nuns not having sex.

Neither do monks (apparently).

BlueBelle

Do we know it’s a gentleman !! Couldn’t a woman have a wife ?
Would a man call himself a Norfolknun surely it would be norfolkmonk

Does it matter, sex can be just as important to a same sex couple, most relationships get-together the point of one partner not able/willing to engage in sex. If you love your partner you accept their wishes, what damages a relationship is resenting the fact and not communicating at all.

When my wife's illness got worse sex was not pleasurable there was no point, so intimacy became kind words, kisses and cuddles. I would have been 66 a the time and accepted I had had a "good innings".

petra

Allira

BlueBelle

Do we know it’s a gentleman !! Couldn’t a woman have a wife ?
Would a man call himself a Norfolknun surely it would be norfolkmonk

Good thinking, Miss Marple!

I think he’s being nasty.
Ie, nuns not having sex.

Or it means nun as in none.

Or nun, as in woman.
A woman who likes women.
Is that different, in some way from a man posting?

Indeed it could be a female posting. There are women too who prioritise their genital pleasure and superficial appearance above a deep emotional, loving connection with a devoted partner.

When things change [bereavement/partner aging/trauma/illness], they're either complaining, feeling entitled or they're off. Met them.

Smileless2012

I can understand your hurt and frustration norfolknun especially as you're satisfying your wife's need to orgasm and that's not being reciprocated.

You say if you try to discuss this, you get short shrift and while I have the utmost sympathy for all that she's been through, I do think that she's being unfair.

A marriage is a partnership and if a fundamental aspect of that relationship changes it needs to be discussed. Sex doesn't have to be the 'be all and end all', but if someone for whatever reason decides this is something they no longer want, it's a mistake IMO to refuse to discuss the affect this may have on the other.

I think you need to be honest and tell her how this is impacting on your feelings for her. That's not to say she should ever feel she should engage in a physical relationship if she doesn't want too, but if you do decide you no longer wish to remain in the marriage, she needs to know why.

I'm sorry you've had some rather unpleasant responses and I wonder how those who have made them would feel in they were in your position.

I quite agree.

Not in my wildest imagination can I believe OP woldn't be impacted by not having a loving relationship with their spouse. Age isn't the issue, we're in our 80s, have no intention of sexual abstinence.

Perhaps OP should discuss, splitting if no resolution is reached.

The whole situation sounds pretty horrific and messy.

You stated “your wife’s daughter” I’m wondering how long you two have been together.

Have you tried having a very calm and gentle chat with her about how she’s feeling about this whole thing and how she’s coping in general.

At 67 and married for 30 years I can now or leave sex, but I’m happy to discuss this with my husband, who is 70 as sex is more important to him than myself.

petra

So you’re saying that your sex life was the lynchpin of your love for your wife.
I hope your dear wife never finds out that you’re so shallow.
Poor woman 😥

Norfolknunv says their wife is happy to be brought to orgasm but doesn't try to reciprocate the pleasure. I don't think Norfolknun is entirely at fault here, rather just very confused by the situation they now find themselves in.

Esmay

It's always very sad when one partner wants sex and the other doesn't.
But my heart goes out to your wife -she's lost her child and has breast cancer .
- one of these events is a crisis .
It also early days since the cancer diagnosis .

Just enjoy precious days out with your wife and don't put any pressure on her to have sex .

You know the reasons your wife no longer wants sex and this is unlikely to change. You seem more interested in your own loss and feelings than hers.

But these days you have plenty of alternative sexual reliefs available; masturbation to online porn. Or a discreet rendezvous with a sympathetic prostitute in a hotel room. Or visit a "massage parlour".

BlueBelle

Do we know it’s a gentleman !! Couldn’t a woman have a wife ?
Would a man call himself a Norfolknun surely it would be norfolkmonk

" I'm 76 but everything still works" sounds more like a man.

There are often posts on this site where it's the husband that doesn't want sex and the wife is frustrated, it's an issue for both sides that may destroy a marriage if you let it.

On more thought I think the name is the giveaway.

Not that the discussion has no interest, ie the conflations of sex and love, the difficulties couples run into when desire is different and love cant find a way, or men who can't do what they used to cope by switching off sex or wont use viagra or engage in the many alternative sorts of intimacy possible:

But I don't "buy" the story: it would make a nice little snippet to hand on in SM as regards some people's sharing.

Nobody has shared anything, though.

Well the bit that is patently wrong is her not being willing to reciprocate in whatever way works for both of you, whilst expecting you help her! Talk to her!

Macaydia
You should amicably part ways and find a lover because she can no longer fill your needs.^If I were in your shoes, I would abandon sex to stay with my partner but if that frustrates you, you will need to give up the partner.
Are you in the habit of dishing out such drastic advice to random people on the internet about whose circumstances you know absolutely nothing?

Wyllow3

BlueBelle

Do we know it’s a gentleman !! Couldn’t a woman have a wife ?
Would a man call himself a Norfolknun surely it would be norfolkmonk

If the O/P was a women she would be unlikely to say, "everything is working". that is so a man.

Yes, a man. And if everything was not working then there would not be a problem in the marriage, would there? I say, he needs to cut the ties and carry on elsewhere so she can get a life without him because he is not of value to this lovely lady.

janeainsworth

Macaydia
You should amicably part ways and find a lover because she can no longer fill your needs.^If I were in your shoes, I would abandon sex to stay with my partner but if that frustrates you, you will need to give up the partner.
Are you in the habit of dishing out such drastic advice to random people on the internet about whose circumstances you know absolutely nothing?

Yes. Absolutely.

Theres so much ‘make believe’ here in some posts 🙄

macaydia says he is not of value to this lovely lady how on earth do you know she’s a lovely lady she could be a complete tyrant for all you know
Posters are just seeing a few words and weaving their own story around it .
But as Norfolknun has gone back to the convent (laughing all the way) we will never know

Can understand fully.........as you get older you can remember the good old days but a sexless marriage or even just physical companionship is a bitch when lacking. Lost a spouse after 48 yrs of beautiful relationship but remarried the wrong person and have been 19 years without any physical relationship at all.

I think Norfolknun has had his kicks now.

This is all such nonsense isn’t it?