A one sided conversation.

I have a neighbour like that - she has 5 GC, but her conversation is all about 3 of them - the others don’t seem to be in her radar. I understand that you can’t always find that all your GC are interesting subjects of conversation, Tbh, I feel guilty if I talk about one of my GC. I have to talk about the others.

M0nica

Some people with ADHD tend to talk non-stop. I say that as I have ADHD and I have learned to be conscious of this and control it, not always successfully.

I sometimes wonder if I have ADHD or some form of neurodiversity. I find myself interrupting people during a conversation or losing track of what I'm saying. However, I wonder at my age (early 60's) whether it's worth getting on the waiting list for a diagnosis.

I might end up in future going to an Age UK meeting and being like someone the OP has met!

I'm still laughing. Now did I tell you about the time I.....no I won't go there, I promise.

I do understand about the ADHD though as I used to teach kids with a range of neuro diversity. They were delightful though and I did have to remind them to take a breath, they didn't mind, usually smirked and said 'sorry Miss' then carried on.

Grandmabatty

I have a dear friend like that who talks over you. When we get together as a quartet, we let it go. I think she is becoming increasingly deaf and doesn't always hear others are still talking

That's certainly a reason why I talk rather than listen in some situations - where the conditions are right & I can hear well, I'm told I'm a good listener.
And you're absolutely spot-on about talking over people.

When I worked in befriending I noticed that some people who had not spoken to anyone for days tended to talk a lot at least until they had told of everything they had been saving up. Now as a carer (my husband has dementia) I have noticed that I am in danger of doing the same and becoming a motor mouth if I haven't spoken to anyone for a while.

Retread

Luckygirl3

Maybe she is lonely ...

But, why does being lonely change anything? I've been lonely in my life but still had awareness when trying to make conversation, or friends!

I have stopped meeting up with some friends when a particular woman is invited.
She just doesn’t stop.
She’s not lonely. She’s out every day to one group or another.
Goes dancing Saturday night with her boyfriend.

I have a friend who talks non stop and she also has a condition (I think) which causes her to close her eyes when she is speaking which is very peculiar as there is no eye contact.
I have known her since we were 12 and I don’t want to upset her but all she ever talks about is her wealthy sister and people I have never heard of.

Funny, just the other day something popped up on my instagram feed; it was a woman teaching etiquette to children. This video showed the art of conversation, and how to be an engaged listener, and also respond to questions with more than just a yes or no, or for most children "I don't know"!

It was interesting to watch, and she had various children sitting around a dining table, learning manners and conversation. Well done.

What are the men like, jeanie99 regarding conversation?
Maybe try chatting with them?

I would seat myself away from her jeanie. Don’t let her spoil the social gatherings for you.
Some people just love the sound of their own voice.

I’ve noticed that too in some groups, a few people just don’t leave space for anyone else to join in. It can be tiring, especially if one person keeps focusing on you. I think it’s a shame because it makes it harder for them to make friends, but at the same time you want to enjoy the group without feeling drained. Hopefully you can keep enjoying the social side and spend more time with the people who do chat more naturally.

NotSpaghetti

What are the men like, jeanie99 regarding conversation?
Maybe try chatting with them?

I have found in groups of men I'm often ignored or the conversation switches suddenly when a more interesting man starts to talk football.I used to have coffee with a group at the gym and as soon as a new man joined I was forgotten.
Also found it strange one day when my friends son joined the group his dad ignored me and didn't introduce me.

kircubbin2000 oh dear that's not nice.
I chat to both men and women ag my gym.

I admit I'm not interested in football but recently (last 3 weeks or so) have had casual but interesting interesting conversations about travel, healthcre, older parents, apprenticeships and dogs- today I've been talking about balance devices and the benefits of a "private" guide at museums and archaeological sites.

I'm sorry you find that your gym is different.
Do you have a member's area?

We have a lady in our social group who is just the same. Her family, her ailments, her new purchases, her menus….non-stop.
Nobody wants to sit with her and it is almost a bunfight to nab a seat on a different table. She never says she is short of friends, she is totally oblivious of her own unpopularity.

So familiar, no wearing, so common...luckily I have at least one friend who knows how to "play tennis" and my sister is good as well...but social groups and clubs? I go to meetups reluctantly and really do not like those where you are sitting because it feels like a prison when the ones close by do not know how to converse . I do get up and make some excuse. It feels awkward, but I wonder if they even notice???

I imagine we all know people like the woman OP describes, and to be honest, a lot of those of us who live alone have often discovered to our consternation that we tend to talk non-stop whenever we find ourselves in company.

I have certainly had to reign myself in very strictly to break this bad habit.

It might help if you try saying to the non-stop talker, when she pauses to draw breath: "Now, you have told me what is going on in your life, I wonder if you could give me some advice? " And plunge straight in to whatever is going on in your life.

If she does not take the hint, you have two choices, either move away, or be as direct as one of my oldest friends was, when she drew me aside, and said straight out, "You are talking incessantly about your affairs and never taking the time to ask those you talk to, how they are."

That made me realise how rude I was actually being.

What a good and brave friend to have been so honest AuntieE.
My sister talks over the top of me and it is upsetting. I think she is trying to show interest in the conversation and joining in, but it is offputting and annoys me so much. I am the younger sister at 77 so of course she knows best!

I think a talking stick which you have to be holding to speak would be the answer!

AuntieE I think what you say is really helpful and kind. I remember once when travelling meeting a backpacker who said he'd been on his own for three weeks and had not spoken to anyone - and off he went talking non stop. I understood why, which helped.
I think AuntieE the friend who explained clearly that the speaker needed to allow others space was both kind and brave. She helped create a happier way for you to connect with others and she spoke without blame and with kindness. If we do not judge but do aim to understand it can make a big difference to other people, and also as a by product, we feel more at ease with ourselves. Kindness to another somehow makes us both happier.

I've a friend like that. I love her to bits but she's very tiring.
She sometimes recognises she's not taken breath and will say," I will just tell you this then you can tell me your news " .
If that ever happens I find my " turn " is very short as I am not inclined to share every single last detail of my kids and grandkids lives !
In recent years I really think undiagnosed neuro diversity is at the heart of the problem ( her social skills have never been good and she tends to alienate a lot of people).
Realising this has helped a lot and I find I am more patient.

FriedGreenTomatoes2

That said, some people can just talk a glass eye to sleep.

Orlin was just telling me about a chap he met recently in hospital who would tell anyone who’d listen all the gory details of his surgical operations, the pain, the current diet forced upon him but didn’t allow anyone to get a word in.
Orlin said the other men in the ward were bored stiff.
FGT I pinched your comment about the glass eye and nearly put Orlin back in hospital he laughed so much.

I used to work with a woman like that. Very friendly and sociable but no social filters whatsoever. It was like working with a tannoy that you cant turn off. I used to go to sit in the loo for a bit of peace. Worse still most of the conversations were about her personal life, her travels or her pets.

I would say something like "Hey Lucy I need to finish this report. Can we talk later at break time?"

Five minutes later she would begin again. The line manager did noting to stop it and one time I even got blamed along with her for being disruptive. Of course when someone speaks to you and keeps repeating your name you more or less have to answer.

Eventually I corned the line manager and told her to deal with it or move me to another office. I ended up in a larger, busier and much noisier office but was able to filter the noise out because it was not directed at me.

I have a neighbour who, every time we meet, runs through her health problems from dandruff down to bunions, with a great deal else in between.....It's like being pinned to a wall....

Not directed at anyone in particular but in general.
With these sorts of things, I think it is also a good idea to double-check our own behaviour.
I learnt a lesson during Brexit. I know, and knew at the time, I was talking about it too much and for far too long just because I felt so strongly about it.
I feel we have to watch out for our own 'hobby-horses', but I know there are people about like the OP describes. I suspect that meeting might be her only social event of the week so she wants to get it all out while she has a chance.
Loneliness is a pandemic in older people.

Conversation is like a ball, it should be tossed lightly from one person to another.