How would you have felt?

So many people had a parent or parents who were unsuitable to be parents. The comments hurt and were meant to hurt. Why they were said will be a mystery.
The only way to triumph over the hurt is to make sure everybody you engage with, especially your own children, feel wanted and valued by you. It's the only way; let good to triumph over bad.

One of our sons has a lovely gf.

They live together.

Her mother told her constantly that she and her brothers were the root of all her problems and she wished they’d never been born.

She grew up hearing this frequently.

Mum was the victim of multiple partners domestic abuse, but this does not excuse this.

They have a stable relationship now, but 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

I would like to wager such comments were never said in front of anyone It’s easy to say move on but these thoughts have a habit of popping into your mind when you least expect them Try to have a positive thought to try and block it when it does

Im very sorry you had such awful parents . Please allow yourself a few tears for the little girl who had to put up with such remarks . I know I shed a couple this morning on her behalf . Then be proud of all she has achieved since .

We have to let these things go although it is hard as they feed into our sense of self worth at a critical age.
My mum told me she tried the gin and hot bath routine when she found she was pregnant with me .... too much information Mum!

I’m so sorry you had to endure that, SingingRabbits. It’s easy for us to say “forget it and move on”, but you were the one suffering that verbal abuse. I do hope, though, that you can try to let it stay in the past - you were not the problem, they were. As Astitchintime says, try to focus on today - try not to let their cruel words eat you up. 💐

Please let this go SingingRabbits, they are long gone and so are their cruel comments. Don’t let this define you now. For your own peace, focus on today 💐

They were just horrible people SingingRabbits💐 and you were very unlucky, put it down to that.
Parents come in all kinds of guises and it’s all down to luck which we get.

Thanks for your responses.
The young girl was me, now pushing 80 years of age and the remarks were made on different occasions. I hadn’t done anything wrong and was certainly not a social problem or lawbreaker. I had a great sense of duty yet never seemed to succeed in pleasing them. Even in her last days my mother found my presence an irritation.
Why does it still bother me after all these years you may ask? Somehow one never forgets these hurts. There were no telephone helplines in those days and I am still trying to fathom out what was going on in my parents’ minds.

Sounds like the child may be scapegoated or blamed for problems the adults are ignoring. However, more context is needed. If the child has been skipping school and shoplifting or something, then complaining about consequences the family is having to deal with, it could be fair that she is the cause of the problems she is having to deal with.

Poor girl.

Have they made those comments at separate times?
Could it have been said at the same time in the heat of an argument?

It'd depend on who I was in this scenario.
An onlooker?
The child?
The parent?

There's much more to it than this short interaction.

Is this what happened/ is happening to you?

It’s a tad difficult to base an opinion on 3 sentances.

A querulous atmosphere in the home between the girl’s parents.

More info needed

What trouble is caused?